Jon Heder Quotes
I want to get up there and tell entertaining stories but that are also to a certain extent clean.

Quotes to Explore
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Any creative process comes with a level of self-analysis and self-criticism. There's a lot of waking up in the middle of the night going, 'Oh, I wish I had done that differently.'
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I started as a teenager going up on commercials.
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Military brats have this toughness: they're almost like orphans or foster children; they develop little mechanisms. It sets you up to look at things a little differently.
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I acted at school but got very bad parts - things that they'd made up in Shakespeare plays like 'Guard 17' - so I wrote plays and gave myself parts, then I wrote sketches, then I did stand-up. Even in the school nativity I was the emu in the manger.
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When you see Major League Baseball putting academies in other countries, obviously that throws up a red flag. You wonder why they ain't going up in our neighborhood. Bottom line, what I see, I talk about... I see it over and over. If anybody can show me I'm wrong, then show me.
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Music is my way out. I keep things locked up and never say anything. I guess in order to say something to one person, I have to sing it to a couple of thousand. It doesn't make for healthy relationships.
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I run a charity. If my name pops up in your call ID, chances are I'm about to ask you for something - money, free ad space, your first born. So it is probably no surprise that people often don't take my calls.
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Alcohol gives you infinite patience for stupidity.
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Children are educated by what the grown-up is and not by his talk.
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We ought to open up energy innovation across the board and - and remove the barriers to every form of energy.
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Every little girl looks up to her mom so much - that's your first hero.
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I grew up believing that my parents helped change the world. I was so in awe of them, and I wondered how I could measure up. I mean, how do you change the world - again?
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You must go after your wish. As soon as you start to pursue a dream, your life wakes up and everything has meaning.
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Rihanna is always on my playlist. I think she pumps you up and gets the day going. I also love - and I know this doesn't sound like a workout album - the Lumineers, lately, and Taylor Swift.
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I grew up riding horses since I was eight. I rode English style and competed every weekend. I had two horses, Scout and Camille, and they were my babies. It taught me a lot about responsibility and commitment. I hope horses will always be in my life.
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The Holocaust changed our perception of morality not only because we discovered that morality is the only thing that can stand up to the ultimate evil, but also because it shifted the focus from society to the individual.
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I grew up being terrified of my parents, particularly my father figures.
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The real being of language is that into which we are taken up when we hear it - what is said.
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California is infamous for passing things and then waking up and saying, 'What the hell did we just pass?'
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One day, when we were coming back from school, we saw this big cloud of smoke coming up, and all these fire-trucks in the yard. The garage was burning down. I was 14, and we'd lost everything.
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If I'm feeling really, really crappy, it sounds so cliche, but if I wake up extra early in the morning and do some sort of physical activity, I usually feel a little bit better. Or I do other things that make me happy.
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My grandparents are from Mexico, so I grew up with great Mexican food.
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The difference between a bland tomato and great one is immense, much like the difference between a standard, sliced white bread and a crusty, aromatic sourdough.
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I want to get up there and tell entertaining stories but that are also to a certain extent clean.