Joseph Heller Quotes
It was miraculous. It was almost no trick at all, he saw, to turn vice into virtue and slander into truth, impotence into abstinence, arrogance into humility, plunder into philanthropy, thievery into honor, blasphemy into wisdom, brutality into patriotism, and sadism into justice. Anybody could do it; it required no brains at all. It merely required no character.
Quotes to Explore
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Food is everything. Food, friends, family: Those are the most important things in life.
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People are not really that forgiving when they pay for tickets to come see you and you don't show up.
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People are entitled to the presumption of innocence.
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I'm one of those foolish people who believe the glory days of the record industry aren't behind us. They're actually ahead of us.
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Mind is everything. Muscle - pieces of rubber. All that I am, I am because of my mind.
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The first time someone tried to share the Gospel with me, I naively explained that I was Jewish and born in Israel, thank you... This was a big mistake. In certain parts of Christian America, admitting I was an Israeli-born Jew turned me into walking catnip.
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I'm the girl that's on the beach with a hat on, under an umbrella. Like, very shaded. But my weird thing is, I only tan my legs. My whole body's covered in the shade, and I tan my legs.
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I can never believe how much time and energy and money and talent and everything else is being poured into horrible ideas.
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See, the SAG awards caught me totally by surprise.
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I was not really as good as I should have been.
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The moral is that a career can be gone in an instant. And all you have in this world are the people you love.
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I have lived and slept in the same bed with English countesses and Prussian farm women... no woman has excited passions among women more than I have.
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I really saw myself as the quintessential Cinderella. I think that's when I really thought about how I wanted to do something else and get away from all that.
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Building a baseball team is like building a house. You look for the best architects, the best builders - and then you let them do their jobs.
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We are not trying to entertain the critics. I'll take my chances with the public.
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The need to encourage entrepreneurship and ensure that young people have the opportunity to start new businesses is acute.
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The kind of world I'm endlessly going on about is pretty well doomed, but nevertheless I think there are recesses of it worth celebrating.
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I love contemporary culture. Even the stuff I don't like.
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Bulls can do nothing to demand justice. They can only defend themselves as best they can in a fight with a pre-determined ending and die never knowing why they were forced to endure such a painful and prolonged death. It's up to us, as a civilized society, to call for an end to the Running of the Bulls and bullfighting.
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Everything we do, every thought we've ever had, is produced by the human brain. But exactly how it operates remains one of the biggest unsolved mysteries, and it seems the more we probe its secrets, the more surprises we find.
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The best laughs are on the recognition of truth.
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I am pleased that God made my skin black - but I wish He had made it thicker.
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It was miraculous. It was almost no trick at all, he saw, to turn vice into virtue and slander into truth, impotence into abstinence, arrogance into humility, plunder into philanthropy, thievery into honor, blasphemy into wisdom, brutality into patriotism, and sadism into justice. Anybody could do it; it required no brains at all. It merely required no character.
