Joseph Heller Quotes
It was miraculous. It was almost no trick at all, he saw, to turn vice into virtue and slander into truth, impotence into abstinence, arrogance into humility, plunder into philanthropy, thievery into honor, blasphemy into wisdom, brutality into patriotism, and sadism into justice. Anybody could do it; it required no brains at all. It merely required no character.

Quotes to Explore
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Food is everything. Food, friends, family: Those are the most important things in life.
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People are not really that forgiving when they pay for tickets to come see you and you don't show up.
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People are entitled to the presumption of innocence.
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I'm one of those foolish people who believe the glory days of the record industry aren't behind us. They're actually ahead of us.
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Mind is everything. Muscle - pieces of rubber. All that I am, I am because of my mind.
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The first time someone tried to share the Gospel with me, I naively explained that I was Jewish and born in Israel, thank you... This was a big mistake. In certain parts of Christian America, admitting I was an Israeli-born Jew turned me into walking catnip.
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I'm the girl that's on the beach with a hat on, under an umbrella. Like, very shaded. But my weird thing is, I only tan my legs. My whole body's covered in the shade, and I tan my legs.
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I can never believe how much time and energy and money and talent and everything else is being poured into horrible ideas.
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See, the SAG awards caught me totally by surprise.
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I was not really as good as I should have been.
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The moral is that a career can be gone in an instant. And all you have in this world are the people you love.
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I have lived and slept in the same bed with English countesses and Prussian farm women... no woman has excited passions among women more than I have.
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I really saw myself as the quintessential Cinderella. I think that's when I really thought about how I wanted to do something else and get away from all that.
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Building a baseball team is like building a house. You look for the best architects, the best builders - and then you let them do their jobs.
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We are not trying to entertain the critics. I'll take my chances with the public.
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The need to encourage entrepreneurship and ensure that young people have the opportunity to start new businesses is acute.
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The kind of world I'm endlessly going on about is pretty well doomed, but nevertheless I think there are recesses of it worth celebrating.
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I love contemporary culture. Even the stuff I don't like.
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Harry, talking about the doctor who came to the ward and then went away. 'That guy has a thing about potato chips and hot dogs. If God didn't want us to eat salt and fat, why did He make them taste so good?'
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You want to be paid as well, you virtuous! You want reward for virtue, and heaven for earth, and eternity for your today?
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I'm not really a partier, in general. I've definitely learned that that's probably the least interesting thing you can do with your time.
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Kerrang!: Clare Sharp from Glasgow would like to know what you thought of your mum's appearance in Kerrang! last August 1996 - predicting the future for ten rock stars?
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I'm just going to be me.
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It was miraculous. It was almost no trick at all, he saw, to turn vice into virtue and slander into truth, impotence into abstinence, arrogance into humility, plunder into philanthropy, thievery into honor, blasphemy into wisdom, brutality into patriotism, and sadism into justice. Anybody could do it; it required no brains at all. It merely required no character.