Erma Bombeck Quotes
When you leave them in the morning, they stick their nose in the door crack and stand there like a portrait until you turn the key eight hours later.

Quotes to Explore
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If I could wave a magic wand, we would eliminate income tax; we would eliminate corporate tax. We would abolish the IRS, and we could replace all of it with one federal consumption tax.
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It is a most mortifying reflection for a man to consider what he has done, compared to what he might have done.
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I'm just an ordinary, walking-down-the-street, mother of two children who sings for her supper.
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This is just strictly me wanting to make a record that is the real deal. It is all the stuff that I have learned and know that I remember. It's what I perceive as country music is about.
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I've been a war reporter and a human rights defender. A professor and a columnist. A diplomat and - by far most thrillingly - a mother. And what I've learned from all these experiences is that any change worth making is going to be hard. Period.
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I love film, but it's bringing me away from music. Singing is what I'm probably most passionate about.
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If you wanted to build an Internet startup in 2005, you had to buy your own servers and hire someone to manage it. Now, that's unheard of.
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I am still shocking people today, and I don't know why. Is it because I'm a woman talking about sex and men? One magazine said that no one writes sex in the back of a Bentley better than Jackie Collins.
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Oil is ancient wealth in the ground.
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People say it's a Ponzi scheme, it's a bubble. People really don't want to take it seriously. At some point, that narrative will shift to 'virtual currencies are here to stay.'
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I go to Australia probably once every two years. It's wide-open spaces there, so I just rent a motorcycle and ride out to the middle of the continent. For hours, you don't see anybody.
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I lived with my mother all my life until she died, and I don't really think I knew her, because I was always using her as my mother, if you know what I mean.
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I remember visiting my grandmother Adele in Ponce Inlet, Florida, when I was three years old, and she had an IBM electric typewriter. I thought that this electric typewriter was about the most fascinating toy in the world - I liked the little bell and the sounds and the feel of the keys and especially the erase key.
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My father is a college professor and that's about the extent of my college experience. I'm sort of a professional student forever. I think just as human beings we always have a student who is alive in us and is waiting to pop up and make us feel like we are 16 years-old again.
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God, I'm glad I'm not me.
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Man is the result of slow growth; that is why he occupies the position he does in animal life. What does a pup amount to that has gained its growth in a few days or weeks, beside a man who only attains it in as many years.
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It is a very busy mission: every day has some major goals that we have to get through, but my experience before has been that at least in the evening, you kind of take a deep breath and look around where you are and have some downtime.
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A No. 1 record is hard to come by.
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Growing up, my parents were Roman Catholic - strict Catholics - from New Orleans. I understood the idea in the principle of spirituality. I noticed it in the stories that I read. The Trinity was something that was brought up consistently: the power of three. Things happened in threes, and I thought that was brilliant.
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I grew up in the United States.
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I think it's incumbent on actresses to bring something else to the part which isn't in the script.
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The photo is a thing in itself. And that's what still photography is all about.
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Happiness comes in small doses folks. It's a cigarette, or a chocolate chip cookie or a five second orgasm, that's it okay? You cum, you eat the cookie, you smoke the butt, you go to sleep you get up in the morning and go to fucking work okay? That is it, end of fucking list!
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When you leave them in the morning, they stick their nose in the door crack and stand there like a portrait until you turn the key eight hours later.