Eugene Mirman Quotes
Most bullies are the product of a stressful and often abusive home life. Next time a bully threatens or attacks you, just yell, 'Don't abuse me like your parents abuse you!' Then call children's services and tell them you saw this bully crying in the bathroom and you're worried about him. Bam! He just got moved to a foster home.

Quotes to Explore
-
Psoriasis is an autoimmune disease, and I'm sensitive.
-
I think the kind of unexpected I really love is when you open books and the actual way of writing is different and interesting. Like reading Virginia Woolf for the first time or Lawrence Durrell for the first time.
-
Likewise the leader of any state has to do the same, he has to enforce Shariah firmly, for he will be held in account later in the afterlife if he fails.
-
I travel a lot, and that makes it harder to date, but it also opens up opportunities for me to meet people where I wouldn't normally meet them.
-
I don't understand why there aren't more powerful female directors. I don't have the answers, but I hope that things may start to shift and that studios will employ more women to handle strong and interesting material.
-
I hate when a guy brags... or he sweats.
-
There was a verse that said if you are lukewarm rather than hot or cold, God will spit you out of his mouth on Judgment Day. And I felt like, I mean, I don't know. I'm lukewarm.
-
Action is the real measure of intelligence.
-
I like that Barack got that job.
-
I pretty much preach, teach and nag.
-
Many people find themselves with illness as they become successful: higher blood pressure and diabetes.
-
It's so crazy now with the Internet and being able to play shows to people who are actually interested in you. I still feel so lucky when that happens. Things just happen so fast.
-
I think, honestly, my largest concern, there are a lot of unbalanced people out there, and all of a sudden, I'm the CIA poster girl, and our home in Washington, the front door was about 20 feet from the street. I went to the agency at a certain point and asked for security on a residence.
-
My parents were hippies.
-
A sharp tongue is the only edge tool that grows keener with constant use.
-
You know, I think everything I do cinematically for the rest of my life will probably have some direct route back to Jonathan. But I love him to death. He's like my best friend and my big brother.
-
The great thing about Watergate is, is that the system worked. The American system worked. The press did its job. We did what we were supposed to do.
-
You're an awful little guy to be such a big thief.
-
I relate to most of the characters I play, because I do feel like an outsider.
-
I think the way we're doing computer vision is just wrong.
-
I don't want to get too detailed and personal, but my parents got divorced when I was about nine. A lot of that had to do with my dad being on the road and that disconnect.
-
The fate of the living planet is the most important issue facing mankind.
-
Most bullies are the product of a stressful and often abusive home life. Next time a bully threatens or attacks you, just yell, 'Don't abuse me like your parents abuse you!' Then call children's services and tell them you saw this bully crying in the bathroom and you're worried about him. Bam! He just got moved to a foster home.