Eugene Mirman Quotes
What do you think you should do if you're attacked by a bear? Play dead? No - that's a lie promoted by the bears.

Quotes to Explore
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I finally moved out of my parent's house. It was only fair to let my sister have her own room.
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Don't get between me and a really good picture in the darkroom, because then I want to go straight to the darkroom and develop it. But once that's done, I'm fine.
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It seems to me that 'women's writing' by nature would not seek equivalence in the male world. It would be a writing that sought to express a distinction, not deny it.
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I've fought with everyone . And now I have become so headstrong that I only do what I want.
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You know, you don't expect everyone to be as educated as everyone else or have the same achievements, but you expect at least to be offered at least some of the opportunities, and libraries are the most simple and the most open way to give people access to books.
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What I'm very upset about is the attempt to dictate to museums what they show, and the statements made by politicians in Washington that have curtailed the freedom of the National Endowment for the Arts. The attention to those issues is deflected by the spin of my supposedly having trivialized the Holocaust.
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Scientific progress makes moral progress a necessity; for if man's power is increased, the checks that restrain him from abusing it must be strengthened.
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My role models are people who can do things; I say to myself, 'I wish I could do that.'
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It may not always be easy, convenient, or politically correct to stand for truth and right, but it is the right thing to do. Always.
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I'm part Cuban, so anything with a good beat like Rumberos de Cuba gets me going.
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You know what black hatred women feel toward me as soon as they see me, until I return inside my shell, they use every possible weapon. As soon as a generous man tries to help me out, a woman is here to hold his arm and prevent him from acting.
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When someone says something in an interview, the beauty of Twitter is that it's a platform for instantaneous response.
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Every anti-gay remark from the Church gives the thug a license to be cruel.
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I feel great physically. I feel really good.
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I want to make music that I like; not something that I have to make because I think it's going to sell.
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I don't allow meat in my house or in my oven. My whole family is vegetarian - and although I've given my kids the choice to order meat at a restaurant when they reach five, they're not interested.
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I'd been coming to New York for weekends since I was 17, and after 9/11, I started making these trips more frequently, just to make contact with the city.
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As policymakers, we need to foster an environment that allows U.S.-based innovators and entrepreneurs to compete and to flourish. Excessive regulations and bureaucratic red tape dramatically increase the cost of doing business and create uncertainty for companies.
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Jack Abramoff is the world's best lobbyist - for the Federal Penitentiary System.
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When I was 26, I got offered the Connecticut job, but the ABA started, and I thought I could still play.
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When I'm doing something I love, I can lose sleep. I can go and go and go and go. My work ethic is pretty intense. But when it comes to doing something that I don't love every day, I'm not very good at it. That's called work, and I don't like work that much.
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I was surprised when I finally moved to Boston and the East Coast, to discover that there weren't that many vibraphone players around. And I was the only one playing with four mallets.
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I'm not nearly as important as I used to think I was. It's a wonderful discovery.
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What do you think you should do if you're attacked by a bear? Play dead? No - that's a lie promoted by the bears.