Eugene Mirman Quotes
What do you think you should do if you're attacked by a bear? Play dead? No - that's a lie promoted by the bears.

Quotes to Explore
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In my district, the ports of Long Beach and Los Angeles handle approximately 44 percent of all of the goods delivered to American shores, yet they are in constant need of revenue for facilities, improvements and upgrades to roads and bridges and rails.
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I finally moved out of my parent's house. It was only fair to let my sister have her own room.
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Don't get between me and a really good picture in the darkroom, because then I want to go straight to the darkroom and develop it. But once that's done, I'm fine.
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It seems to me that 'women's writing' by nature would not seek equivalence in the male world. It would be a writing that sought to express a distinction, not deny it.
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I've fought with everyone . And now I have become so headstrong that I only do what I want.
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You know, you don't expect everyone to be as educated as everyone else or have the same achievements, but you expect at least to be offered at least some of the opportunities, and libraries are the most simple and the most open way to give people access to books.
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What I'm very upset about is the attempt to dictate to museums what they show, and the statements made by politicians in Washington that have curtailed the freedom of the National Endowment for the Arts. The attention to those issues is deflected by the spin of my supposedly having trivialized the Holocaust.
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Scientific progress makes moral progress a necessity; for if man's power is increased, the checks that restrain him from abusing it must be strengthened.
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My role models are people who can do things; I say to myself, 'I wish I could do that.'
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It may not always be easy, convenient, or politically correct to stand for truth and right, but it is the right thing to do. Always.
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I'm part Cuban, so anything with a good beat like Rumberos de Cuba gets me going.
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You know what black hatred women feel toward me as soon as they see me, until I return inside my shell, they use every possible weapon. As soon as a generous man tries to help me out, a woman is here to hold his arm and prevent him from acting.
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When someone says something in an interview, the beauty of Twitter is that it's a platform for instantaneous response.
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Every anti-gay remark from the Church gives the thug a license to be cruel.
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I feel great physically. I feel really good.
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I want to make music that I like; not something that I have to make because I think it's going to sell.
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I don't allow meat in my house or in my oven. My whole family is vegetarian - and although I've given my kids the choice to order meat at a restaurant when they reach five, they're not interested.
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I'd been coming to New York for weekends since I was 17, and after 9/11, I started making these trips more frequently, just to make contact with the city.
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As to the old history of Ireland, the first man ever died in Ireland was Partholan, and he is buried, and his greyhound along with him, at some place in Kerry.
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I want kids to enjoy skating and I think it's a great workout.
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I've never left China. My family's been there for 600 years. But my architecture is not consciously Chinese in any sense. I'm a western architect.
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Children, I always think, are just putting on a performance of being naive and not understanding anything. I have worked with children in films, and they're treated as adults and they just drop the pretense of being children.
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I think I'm a GENIUS. Point F#*king blank.
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What do you think you should do if you're attacked by a bear? Play dead? No - that's a lie promoted by the bears.