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My parents won’t let me have a motorcycle, but they give me all the guns I want. I asked them for a motorcycle last Christmas and they told me I’d only kill myself. They got me this twelve-gauge instead.
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My cancer continues to make for all kind of hilarity.
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I guess chemistry is just another word for love.
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This world is filled with five billion people with five billion different ways of looking at things.
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The gay male is always going to be at the bottom.
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I'm not a wilting flower. I'm honest, so I pick a lot of fights. I've burned a lot of bridges.
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If comedy duos don't like each other, it just won't work.