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I feel like he's taking advantage of me. Advantage of my illness. He thinks he can rewrite history in any way that he likes and I will never know, never be any the wiser. But I do know. I know exactly what he's doing. And so I don’t trust him. In the end he is pushing me away, Dr. Nash. Ruining everything.
S. J. Watson -
With him everything is a test, affection is measured, that given weighed against that which has been received, and the balance, more often than not, disappointing him.
S. J. Watson
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I closed my eyes and abandoned myself to my grief. It felt better, somehow, to be helpless. I didn't feel ashamed.
S. J. Watson -
Work. Write. Read. Keep putting words on the page, because that's the only way you'll get better.
S. J. Watson -
It's so difficult, isn't it? To see what's going on when you're in the absolute middle of something? It's only with hindsight we can see things for what they are.
S. J. Watson -
We’re constantly changing facts, rewriting history to make things easier, to make them fit in with our preferred version of events. We do it automatically. We invent memories. Without thinking. If we tell ourselves something happened often enough we start to believe it, and then we can actually remember it.
S. J. Watson -
I want him to be happy. And I want you to be happy, too. Even if you can only find that happiness without me.
S. J. Watson -
Do you trust me? The question is usually asked before an admission that such trust is misplaced.
S. J. Watson
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What are we, if not an accumulation of our memories?
S. J. Watson -
Whatever enjoyment I might have had at the time would disappear overnight like snow melting on a warm roof.
S. J. Watson -
I will never abandon you. I love you too much.
S. J. Watson -
And then, when there is nothing else between us but love, we can begin to find a way to truly be together.
S. J. Watson -
Thoughts race, as if, in a mind devoid of memory, each idea has too much space to grow and move, to collide with others in a shower of sparks before spinning off into its own distance.
S. J. Watson -
There are memories I a better off without. Things better lost forever.
S. J. Watson
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"Is it possible to both want and not want something at the same time? For desire to ride with fear?
S. J. Watson -
There were never going to be any happy endings for me. I know that now. But that is all right.
S. J. Watson -
I wish I hadn't. I wish I'd fought for you. I was weak and stupid.
S. J. Watson -
I am an adult, but a damaged one.
S. J. Watson -
I cannot imagine how I will cope when I discover that my life is behind me, has already happened, and I have nothing to show for it. No treasure house of collection, no wealth of experience, no accumulated wisdom to pass on. What are we, if not an accumulation of our memories?
S. J. Watson