Jack Roy (Rodney Dangerfield) Quotes
I tell ya, I know the best way to get girls. I hang out at women's prisons, and wait for parolees.

Quotes to Explore
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Women are, in general, less shallow visually. If their man gains 10, 20 pounds, they don't care as much. But I've been with women over the years when my weight fluctuated, and they're definitely more interested physically when I am in really great shape.
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My father was an electrical contractor, while I used to deliver video cassettes on a cycle to people in Juhu and Bandra, including celebrities like Mithun Chakraborty. Mithunda remembers me and is very proud of me. He can't believe that the guy who used to come to his house in short pants has become so successful.
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At first my publisher had reservations about publishing it in the form you are familiar with.
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I prefer to believe it's my responsibility if a film of mine works or doesn't work.
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On the national security front, Rick Santorum is superior to any candidate I know.
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When I was little, we had a Golden Book that had all these Disney characters in one portrait on the first page. My dad used to read from it every night. We'd play this game of find Pluto or find Donald Duck. He'd read us stories and do all the voices. Those are great memories.
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I made a lot of money. I earned a lot of money with CNN and satellite and cable television. And you can't really spend large sums of money, intelligently, on buying things. So I thought the best thing I could do was put some of that money back to work - making an investment in the future of humanity.
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It gets pretty boring when all you are is the support system for a male character.
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I've been to parties in L.A. that are mind-blowing. I mean, quite literally mind-blowing. People get cellphones in the party bag, that sort of thing. Fabulous, fabulous parties.
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To have success in your professional life is not so hard. To succeed as a man is more difficult.
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It is typical of women to fester and ferment over disappointments, slights, annoyances, angers, etc.
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Keeping your space clean is as much a part of the end result as the dish being tasty.
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Pay attention to the big themes because that's what will help you earn ten times your money.
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I am just enjoying what cricket has given me. In sports, it's obviously really important for all of us to remain fit - and health is wealth, so health comes with the sport.
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It was never important for a wedding to be about anything other than me and my partner. A big celebration was never my cup of tea.
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I play computer games, watch TV and do what normal people do.
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Government is the ultimate monopoly. And monopolies, as any economist will tell you, often breed complacency and a lack of innovation.
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I was captain in Atletico at 19, playing in the same team as Demetrio Albertini, who won three Champions Leagues, and Sergi Barjuan from Barcelona, who had won everything, and they were 32, 33. I was a kid as captain, so I wasn't the real captain, just a kid learning from them.
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Social media requires that business leaders start thinking like small-town shop owners. This means taking the long view and avoiding short-term benchmarks to gauge progress. It means allowing the personality, heart and soul of the people who run all levels of the business to show.
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I try not to worry about my appearance as much as possible.
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Not only do I never lie, I never respond to lies, no matter how vicious, no matter how hurtful.
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When you need a friend most is when no one is cheering.
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I tell ya, I know the best way to get girls. I hang out at women's prisons, and wait for parolees.