- All Quotes
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I just kind of have a comedic looking body, I guess. If anything I really have to exercise just to not look too fudgy, otherwise I would just keep going and going.
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There are a lot of really funny guys who are very natural in what they do: Jonah Hill, Michael Cera, Seth Rogen.
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I built a jail in my closet and I would incarcerate my family from time to time.
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The funny guy doesn't get the girl until later in life. High school, college, everyone still wants the brooding, dangerous guy you shouldn't have.
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I've got no dark secrets, I wasn't beaten up, my parents were kind to me and there was a low crime rate where we lived. Maybe that's where the comedy comes from, as some sort of reaction to the safe, boring suburbs.
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Molly Shannon and I used to always talk about that we really felt strongly that we were comedic actors, that we weren't comedians. You just played things real and the comedy came out of the context.
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I would love to play Simon Cowell in a movie - heck, I would love it. It would be my dream role.
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I often don't think a lot about the ramifications of anything I do.
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I'm a really good swimmer.
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I think my new iPhone 5S is broken. I pressed the home button and I'm still at work
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I guess ultimately a lot of comedians just wanna be taken seriously.
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I think anyone who has, you know, is in any sort of artistic pursuit, kind of goes up and down with the way they feel about their work. And I, for the most part, am pretty happy person. But, yeah. I go through definite periods of time where I'm not funny. I'm not good. I'm - I don't feel original.
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I've not been able to avoid periods of time where I felt super-lonely. Luckily, I have a side that is able to always see the glass as half-full.
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Some artists are definitely trying to do different styles. Some, not a lot. But even from what you've seen [of] Outkast, Kanye West, and Lil' Wayne, and different people expressing their way of evolving in hip-hop. In the evolution of hip-hop, they're doing different things. And you've seen hip-hop have more of a global presence and impact on the world.
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I've always been noted for being original and doing different thing. So for me to hop on the train that's going on would be - shoot, if I wanted to hop on the train, I might as well have hopped on gangsta rap back when it was popular and tried to do that.
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I was one of the richest rappers in 2008. But it was definitely a strange feeling.
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When I first started doing sketch comedy, I promised myself that if I were ever to have any success in this business, I wouldn't hold back. Why get there and play it safe?
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One of my first memories of being a kid was, 'I want to have a real job when I grow up.' And to me that meant you wear a suit and a hat and carry a briefcase and go to your job.
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I left 'Saturday Night Live' without a film to go to, and I'd filmed 'Old School' while I was in my last season of the show, and that hadn't come out yet. I was a free agent, in a way, but I knew it was time to leave the show and test the water.
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I want to thank Jesus, and by Jesus I mean Jesus Hernandez, my bodyguard
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When you're doing an out-and-out comedy, the notion of preparing for a character - I hope I don't reveal too much of myself here - but, uh, no, I'm not doing anything.
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I was never a class clown or anything like that, but I do remember being in the first grade and my teacher, Mr. Chad, told the class one day that we were going to do some exercises. He meant math exercises, but I stood up and started doing jumping jacks. To this day, I don't know what possessed me to do that, but all my friends cracked up.
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I love playing the macho guy who looks like an idiot.
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Black, white, yellow, brown - we wanted somebody who would do right by us. And I think because Obama was that person, whether he was black or white, he was chosen