Norm MacDonald Quotes
Kenny G has a Christmas album out this year. Hey, happy birthday Jesus! Hope you like crap!
Quotes to Explore
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After Brown, I went to Duke, to a Ph.D. program in American literature. My dad's an English professor. After a year there, I was like, 'Jesus. I don't want to do this. I don't want to be in the library.' So I pulled the ripcord, and that was it.
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During the first 13 centuries after the birth of Jesus in Bethlehem, no one thought of setting up a creche to celebrate Christmas. The pre-eminent Christian holiday was Easter, not Christmas.
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They say you can rap about anything except for Jesus, that means guns, sex, lies, video tapes, but if I talk about God my record won't get played Huh?
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I base jumped off the Jesus statue in Rio de Janeiro.
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If you want to understand Jesus, you have to study the whole Bible. Christian duty is not defined solely by the words in red.
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The laws of God given to mankind are embodied in the gospel plan, and the Church of Jesus Christ is made responsible for teaching these laws to the world.
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Boy, it is not fun suffering in this body of weak flesh, but Jesus is straightening out all my crooked places.
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Jesus wept; Voltaire smiled. From that divine tear and from that human smile is derived the grace of present civilization.
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There was a time when I just felt like a superwoman. I was like, 'I got Jesus! I ain't afraid!' But, the truth is, I want to do things right, and sometimes I am afraid that I'm not good enough or that I'm not going to handle something right.
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Boy dressed as the devil: Everybody's afraid of the devil!Girl: Not me!Boy dressed as a ghost: How come?Girl: Because Jesus loves me and the devil is afraid of Jesus.
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We wish to recall here the spirit of tolerance shown by Our Lord Jesus Christ when He gave forgiveness to all including those that crucified Him.
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Aenea smiled but her eyes still glistened. 'Humans have been waiting for Jesus and Yahweh and E. T. to save their asses since before they covered those asses with bearskins and came out of the cave,' she said. 'They’ll have to keep waiting. This is our business...our fight...and we have to take care of it ourselves.'
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At no point do the resurrection narratives in the four Gospels say, 'Jesus has been raised, therefore we are all going to heaven.' It says that Christ is coming here, to join together the heavens and the Earth in an act of new creation.
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Jesus was a great worker, and His disciples must not be afraid of hard work.
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The moment someone chooses to trust in Jesus Christ, his sins are wiped away, and he is adopted into God's family. That individual is set apart as a child of God, with a sacred purpose.
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I have marvelous dreams! I meet Buddha, I meet Jesus, I meet Mohammed. I constantly dream of space, stars and planets: we are the children of stardust.
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The Gospel of Judas really has been a surprise in many ways. For one thing, there's no other text that suggests that Judas Iscariot was an intimate, trusted disciple, one to whom Jesus revealed the secrets of the kingdom, and that conversely, the other disciples were misunderstanding what he meant by the gospel.
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If you have a guy like Jermaine, it's a pain in the neck. When we were on the road together in Europe, Jesus, I had to kick the girls off of him. I mean, they throw themselves on the floor and take off their hats.
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Be honorable yourself if you wish to associate with honorable people.
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Jimmy Waite thinks this is offside. WRONG Jimmy! 1-0!
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One of the first things we teach medical students is to listen to the patient by taking a careful medical history. Ninety percent of the time, you can arrive at an uncannily accurate diagnosis by paying close attention, using physical examination and sophisticated lab test to confirm your hunch (and to increase the bill to the insurance company).
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What would I tell her? That I have always known I belonged here? That one day some action will be required that will prove my life's value? A forty-six-year-old man, waiting for fate to take over... it likely already has. (p. 269)
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I trust we shall never be reduced to the painful extremity of seeking the aid of Mirabeau.
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Kenny G has a Christmas album out this year. Hey, happy birthday Jesus! Hope you like crap!
