Norm MacDonald Quotes

Kenny G has a Christmas album out this year. Hey, happy birthday Jesus! Hope you like crap!

Norm MacDonald

• Jesus
• Crap
• Christmas Album

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Quotes to Explore

• After Brown, I went to Duke, to a Ph.D. program in American literature. My dad's an English professor. After a year there, I was like, 'Jesus. I don't want to do this. I don't want to be in the library.' So I pulled the ripcord, and that was it.

  

  Nathaniel Philbrick
  • American
  • Dad
  • Jesus

• During the first 13 centuries after the birth of Jesus in Bethlehem, no one thought of setting up a creche to celebrate Christmas. The pre-eminent Christian holiday was Easter, not Christmas.

  

  Nancy Pearcey
  • Up
  • Christian
  • Jesus

• They say you can rap about anything except for Jesus, that means guns, sex, lies, video tapes, but if I talk about God my record won't get played Huh?

  

  Kanye West
  • God
  • Jesus
  • Sex

• I base jumped off the Jesus statue in Rio de Janeiro.

  

  Felix Baumgartner
  • Jesus
  • Off
  • Statue

• If you want to understand Jesus, you have to study the whole Bible. Christian duty is not defined solely by the words in red.

  

  Randall Terry
  • Words
  • Christian
  • Jesus

• When we think of the ideal, we do not add virtue to virtue, but think of Jesus Christ, so that the standard of human life is no longer a code, but a character.

  

  E. Stanley Jones
  • Life
  • Character
  • Think

• The laws of God given to mankind are embodied in the gospel plan, and the Church of Jesus Christ is made responsible for teaching these laws to the world.

  

  Harold B. Lee
  • World
  • God
  • Church

• Boy, it is not fun suffering in this body of weak flesh, but Jesus is straightening out all my crooked places.

  

  Vanity
  • Fun
  • Jesus
  • Suffering

• Jesus wept; Voltaire smiled. From that divine tear and from that human smile is derived the grace of present civilization.

  

  Victor Hugo
  • Present
  • Jesus
  • Smile

• There was a time when I just felt like a superwoman. I was like, 'I got Jesus! I ain't afraid!' But, the truth is, I want to do things right, and sometimes I am afraid that I'm not good enough or that I'm not going to handle something right.

  

  Tasha Smith
  • Time
  • Good
  • Truth

• Boy dressed as the devil:  Everybody's afraid of the devil!Girl:  Not me!Boy dressed as a ghost:  How come?Girl:  Because Jesus loves me and the devil is afraid of Jesus.

  

  Jack Chick
  • Girl
  • Jesus
  • Boy

• We wish to recall here the spirit of tolerance shown by Our Lord Jesus Christ when He gave forgiveness to all including those that crucified Him.

  

  Haile Selassie
  • Wish
  • Jesus
  • Forgiveness

• Aenea smiled but her eyes still glistened. 'Humans have been waiting for Jesus and Yahweh and E. T. to save their asses since before they covered those asses with bearskins and came out of the cave,' she said. 'They’ll have to keep waiting. This is our business...our fight...and we have to take care of it ourselves.'

  

  Dan Simmons
  • Business
  • She
  • Eyes

• At no point do the resurrection narratives in the four Gospels say, 'Jesus has been raised, therefore we are all going to heaven.' It says that Christ is coming here, to join together the heavens and the Earth in an act of new creation.

  

  N. T. Wright
  • Together
  • Earth
  • Jesus

• Jesus was a great worker, and His disciples must not be afraid of hard work.

  

  Charles Spurgeon
  • Work
  • Great
  • Jesus

• I love Jesus Christ with all my heart and everything He stands for. I think that sums up everything that I want for my life, everything I want for my family, everything I want for my career. I want it to be entertaining. I want people to smile and tap their toes, but I want it to be meaningful when the day is done.

  

  Josh Turner
  • People
  • Life
  • Up

• The moment someone chooses to trust in Jesus Christ, his sins are wiped away, and he is adopted into God's family. That individual is set apart as a child of God, with a sacred purpose.

  

  Charles Stanley
  • God
  • Family
  • Purpose

• I think the Church is a conduit to God. The Church is not God. And I think that from the very beginning Jesus taught us that.

  

  Martin Sheen
  • God
  • Church
  • Jesus

• Jesus was a human being, bound by history and the natural world; an extraordinary man, to be sure, but still a man.

  

  Paul Verhoeven
  • World
  • History
  • Jesus

• If the interpreters are willing to say what the people have to say about their struggle and the reality of Jesus in the fight for freedom, and proceed to develop their tools of critical analysis in the light of their identification with the goals and aspirations of the people, then and only then are they prepared to ask the right questions and hear the right answers.

  

  James Hal Cone
  • People
  • Reality
  • Freedom

• I grew up in the Lower East Side, an Italian American - more Sicilian, actually.

  

  Martin Scorsese
  • Up
  • American
  • Italian

• I think hip-hop needs a little bit of diversity.

  

  Malik Izaak Taylor A Tribe Called Quest
  • Thinking
  • Diversity

• Actually loneliness has a kind of fascination; it's a state of egotistical, inner grace that you can achieve only by standing guard on old, forgotten roads that no one travels anymore.

  

  Arturo Pérez-Reverte
  • Grace
  • Loneliness
  • Fascination

• Kenny G has a Christmas album out this year. Hey, happy birthday Jesus! Hope you like crap!

  

  Norm MacDonald
  • Jesus
  • Crap
  • Christmas Album