Norm MacDonald Quotes

Last Christmas, I got the worst gift a guy ever gave me. He gave me a lottery ticket... what's the guy even thinking there. Here you go... nothing! Merry Christmas! It's nothing!

Norm MacDonald

• Christmas
• Gift
• Lottery ticket

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Quotes to Explore

• It's hard to find an emblem of cultural, national pride that burns as bright as Israel's success in classical music.

  

  Zubin Mehta
  • Music
  • Success
  • Pride

• This is not a zero-sum game. We know that if we provide access and education, particularly where there are gaps in the market, we will create more jobs, we will create more growth, and we will create more activity in the U.S. market, which will be good for our economy.

  

  Karen Mills
  • Good
  • Game
  • Education

• There is no bore like a clever bore.

  

  Samuel Butler
  • Like
  • Clever
  • Bore

• I always put my fantasies in the realm of goals.

  

  O. J. Simpson
  • Always
  • Goals
  • Put

• I believe the Thai people are patient, and the people at least give me a chance to prove my ability to help them.

  

  Yingluck Shinawatra
  • People
  • Believe
  • Help

• I'd probably put myself in the top 1% in knowledge of blight in the city of Detroit.

  

  Dan Gilbert
  • Knowledge
  • City
  • Myself

• I used to lie between cool, clean sheets at night after I'd had a bath, after I had washed my hair and scrubbed my knuckles and finger-nails and teeth. Then I could lie quite still in the dark with my face to the window with the trees in it, and talk to God.

  

  Frances Farmer
  • God
  • Night
  • Cool

• I felt that a number of people might have questioned my loyalty, but I continue to be a patriotic American.

  

  Kareem Abdul-Jabbar
  • People
  • American
  • Loyalty

• When you're editing, you're putting it together in a way that makes sense metaphysically. You're not inventing it, but you're finding the story that's there. You're making a play that's eventually going to go on stage and present itself to an audience. You want to show what happened, not exactly what you have evidence of happening.

  

  D. A. Pennebaker
  • Together
  • Present
  • Story

• Mothers are not supposed to give guidance.

  

  Yoko Ono
  • Give
  • Mother`s
  • Guidance

• What agent is there other than the Creator of the heavens and earth who can know whatever occurs in our heart, down to its most subtle and secret thoughts, and illuminate the future for us by establishing the Hereafter, saving us from the countless suffocating waves of the world?

  

  Said Nursi
  • World
  • Heart
  • Future

• I started playing the ukulele in the year 2000. That sounds so futuristic saying it like that. The year 2000.

  

  Kate Micucci
  • Like
  • Year
  • Saying

• I want to be like Bruce Springsteen or something, making songs that are relevant.

  

  J. Cole
  • Want
  • Like
  • Something

• Radicalization is very easy when you mock what people hold dear.

  

  Hamza Yusuf
  • People
  • You
  • Easy

• I saw a sign one time that said 'hemorrhoids awareness week' at the doctor's office. Let me tell you, if you got hemorrhoids, I'm sure you are aware of it. You don't need a sign to tell anybody about it.

  

  Larry the Cable Guy
  • Time
  • Week
  • Doctor

• Fire hath its force abated by water, not by wind; and anger must be allayed by cold words, and not by blustering threats.

  

  Anne Bradstreet
  • Words
  • Water
  • Fire

• New Zealand has incredible global recognition for grass-fed livestock.

  

  Joel Salatin

• I saw my potential as artistic director, which is very different from designer. Fashion companies might have $200 million to $300 million in annual sales - Hugo Boss has €2.5 billion. I have to create a world that is believable and also relevant in 7,000 sales points around the world.

  

  Jason Wu
  • World
  • Different
  • Fashion

• I don't really have any ditties left in me anymore.

  

  Carlene Carter
  • Me
  • Really
  • Left

• I am proud that in the Netherlands I can come out for my homosexuality, and I'd like to keep it that way.

  

  Pim Fortuyn
  • Proud

• In 1934, the American Jewish charities offered to find homes for 300 German refugee children. We were on the SS Washington, bound for New York, Christmas 1934.

  

  Jack Steinberger
  • Children
  • American
  • Christmas

• I love Christmas. I never used to. I didn't hate it, but I could take it or leave it. But, as I got to the age of 25 or 26, Christmas became quite a big deal, and I love it now. I love the food, and I love sharing time with people.

  

  James McAvoy
  • People
  • Time
  • Age

• Anything that has real and lasting value is always a gift from within.

  

  Franz Kafka
  • Real
  • Value
  • Gift

• Last Christmas, I got the worst gift a guy ever gave me. He gave me a lottery ticket... what's the guy even thinking there. Here you go... nothing! Merry Christmas! It's nothing!

  

  Norm MacDonald
  • Christmas
  • Gift
  • Lottery ticket