Andy Borowitz Quotes

It would be nice to spend billions on schools and roads, but right now that money is desperately needed for political ads.

Andy Borowitz

• Money
• Political
• Schools
• Spend

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Quotes to Explore

• I've never been a partier.

  

  Victoria Justice
  • Never
  • Been

• I like to see a good scientific bout by men who know the use of their hands but would rather walk twenty miles than see animals in strife.

  

  W. H. Davies
  • Good
  • Men
  • Walk

• Anyone who is interested in the psychology of children will have observed that whereas one child will resist temptation or seduction, another will easily yield to it. There are children who will hardly oppose any resistance to the invitation of an unknown person to follow him; others who react in an opposite way in the same circumstances.

  

  Karl Abraham
  • Children
  • Child
  • Same

• Clearly I am a very strong, top-of-the-line, always-rising-to-it personage.

  

  Lark Voorhies
  • Strong
  • Rising
  • Personage

• The usual fortune of complaint is to excite contempt more than pity.

  

  Samuel Johnson
  • More
  • Fortune
  • Pity

• I have friends who say, 'You just can't understand what it's like to be a mother until you're a mother.'

  

  Natasha Leggero
  • Friends
  • Mother
  • Understand

• I'm committed to the goal of Senate Bill 324, and that is to reduce greenhouse gas emissions.

  

  Kate Brown
  • Goal
  • Senate
  • Emissions

• I am a very loyal man and always keep my promises when I commit to something.

  

  Sam Heughan
  • Promises
  • Commit
  • Loyal

• I thought, you know the food and the diet thing is one way to start yourself onto a healthy lifestyle, but if you don't move, if you don't start exercising you're gonna deteriorate.

  

  Warren Cuccurullo Duran Duran
  • Food
  • Thought
  • Yourself

• In our tabulation of psychoanalytic results, we have classed those who stopped treatment together with those not improved. This appears to be reasonable; a patient who fails to finish his treatment, and is not improved, is surely a therapeutic failure.

  

  Hans Eysenck
  • Together
  • Failure
  • Finish

• It's hard to think of any tool, any instrument, any object in history with which so many developed so close a relationship so quickly as we have with our phones.

  

  Nancy Gibbs
  • History
  • Think
  • Relationship

• Kabir Khan is a director who goes out of his way to make his actors comfortable. He's very chilled out. He makes the environment on set very casual and friendly.

  

  Nawazuddin Siddiqui
  • Way
  • Environment
  • Director

• I can make my own decisions, I can do the music I like. If I fail, it's me failing - you know.

  

  Yandel Wisin & Yandel
  • Music
  • Me
  • Decisions

• You tax Mexico? The president of the United States is going to tax Mexico to get a wall for the United States of America? I'm pointing out the absurdity of a lot of these comments.

  

  Dana Perino
  • America
  • You
  • Wall

• Fuseproject was founded in 1999, and the notion behind it, which is alive and kicking today, is fusing different disciplines. Our teams are absolutely incredible at their own discipline, but most importantly, they're incredible at partnering with each other.

  

  Yves Behar
  • Different
  • Today
  • Discipline

• I always had a struggle, which I still do, when you're playing a character and it's not necessarily your morals or your values. You're playing a character, but the way the media will sometimes ask you if these are your opinions, you know - they make you responsible for that, and I take issue with it because I don't believe in censorship.

  

  Katey Sagal
  • Believe
  • Character
  • Struggle

• Books are humanity in print.

  

  Barbara Tuchman
  • Humanity
  • Books
  • Print

• Individual commitment to a group effort - that is what makes a team work, a company work, a society work, a civilization work.

  

  Vince Lombardi
  • Work
  • Society
  • Team

• I don't think it's government's job to find health care for people. I think it's the individual's job to find health care.

  

  Ted Cruz
  • People
  • Job
  • Health

• Our resources may be finite, but our will is infinite, and I am confident that if we come together and summon that great American spirit once again, we will meet the challenges of our time and write the next great chapter in our American story.

  

  Barack Obama
  • Time
  • Great
  • Writing

• What's great about musicals is their energy and go-for-brokeness - stopping the story to sing and dance. How can you not love that?

  

  Damien Chazelle
  • Great
  • Love
  • Energy

• These men ask for just the same thing, fairness, and fairness only. This, so far as in my power, they, and all others, shall have.

  

  Abraham Lincoln
  • Men
  • Power
  • Equality

• I think Republicans need to take income inequality more seriously. Not because I favor equality of outcomes. I do not. I think the Right is correct to stress merit and earned rewards, not handouts and forced equality. But I think what Republicans are blind to is that power corrupts.

  

  Jonathan Haidt
  • Power
  • Stress
  • Equality

• It would be nice to spend billions on schools and roads, but right now that money is desperately needed for political ads.

  

  Andy Borowitz
  • Money
  • Political
  • Schools