Andy Borowitz Quotes

It would be nice to spend billions on schools and roads, but right now that money is desperately needed for political ads.

Andy Borowitz

• Money
• Political
• Schools
• Spend

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Quotes to Explore

• I've never been a partier.

  

  Victoria Justice
  • Never
  • Been

• Anyone who is interested in the psychology of children will have observed that whereas one child will resist temptation or seduction, another will easily yield to it. There are children who will hardly oppose any resistance to the invitation of an unknown person to follow him; others who react in an opposite way in the same circumstances.

  

  Karl Abraham
  • Children
  • Child
  • Same

• Clearly I am a very strong, top-of-the-line, always-rising-to-it personage.

  

  Lark Voorhies
  • Strong
  • Rising
  • Personage

• The usual fortune of complaint is to excite contempt more than pity.

  

  Samuel Johnson
  • More
  • Fortune
  • Pity

• I'm committed to the goal of Senate Bill 324, and that is to reduce greenhouse gas emissions.

  

  Kate Brown
  • Goal
  • Senate
  • Emissions

• I am a very loyal man and always keep my promises when I commit to something.

  

  Sam Heughan
  • Promises
  • Commit
  • Loyal

• It's hard to think of any tool, any instrument, any object in history with which so many developed so close a relationship so quickly as we have with our phones.

  

  Nancy Gibbs
  • History
  • Think
  • Relationship

• Kabir Khan is a director who goes out of his way to make his actors comfortable. He's very chilled out. He makes the environment on set very casual and friendly.

  

  Nawazuddin Siddiqui
  • Way
  • Environment
  • Director

• I can make my own decisions, I can do the music I like. If I fail, it's me failing - you know.

  

  Yandel Wisin & Yandel
  • Music
  • Me
  • Decisions

• I always had a struggle, which I still do, when you're playing a character and it's not necessarily your morals or your values. You're playing a character, but the way the media will sometimes ask you if these are your opinions, you know - they make you responsible for that, and I take issue with it because I don't believe in censorship.

  

  Katey Sagal
  • Believe
  • Character
  • Struggle

• Books are humanity in print.

  

  Barbara Tuchman
  • Humanity
  • Books
  • Print

• Programmers can be lazy.

  

  Larry Wall
  • Lazy
  • Programmers

• Each pineapple plant produces only one fruit per year. It can take up to two years for the pineapple to ripen, and it's important to wait, because once it's picked, it can't ripen any further. The unripe pineapple is not only horrible tasting but poisonous.

  

  Kate Christensen
  • Up
  • Important
  • Year

• If we can increase the share of Islamic finance for the world, countries can benefit - and certainly, Malaysia can benefit from that.

  

  Najib Razak
  • World
  • Share
  • Islamic

• I am she, O most bucolical juvenal, under whose charge are placed the milky mothers of the herd.

  

  Walter Scott
  • She

• I proved for a long time how much I've given of my heart and of my time to the UFC.

  

  Anderson Silva
  • Time
  • Long
  • Heart

• I knew from the start that I wanted my life to be about music. I taught myself the notes of the piano aged three, and then I spent the next few years deconstructing chords to figure out how to play them. At 11, I researched online the sort of music school I wanted to attend, printed out the details, and handed them to my parents.

  

  Ella Henderson
  • Life
  • Music
  • School

• When I went to my local grammar school, Lurgan College, girls were not encouraged to study science. My parents hit the roof and, along with other parents, demanded a curriculum change.

  

  Jocelyn Bell Burnell
  • School
  • Parents
  • Science

• From the moment you are born, you could die. I think as an artist it is important to meditate on that.

  

  Marina Abramovic
  • Important
  • Die

• The difference between a home run and a swing-and-a-miss is, what, an inch and a half? You can throw a great pitch, the guy makes a great swing. And if it's at a guy, it's an out. That's the beauty of baseball, really. There's not just one guy in control.

  

  Phil Humber
  • Great
  • Home
  • Guy

• Besides my religious commitment, the greatest single factor that has enabled me to pursue my business and political objectives has been the security and freedom of my home.

  

  Preston Manning
  • Home
  • Business
  • Political

• I am going to cut my hair very short; I've never done this before... I want to say I had something to do with how I look, not the cancer.

  

  Amy Robach
  • Done
  • Hair
  • Cancer

• Truth derives its strength not so much from itself as from the brilliant contrast it makes with what is only apparently true. This applies especially to Chess, where it is often found that the profoundest moves do not much startle the imagination.

  

  Emanuel Lasker
  • Truth
  • Imagination
  • Chess

• It would be nice to spend billions on schools and roads, but right now that money is desperately needed for political ads.

  

  Andy Borowitz
  • Money
  • Political
  • Schools