Wilson Mizner Quotes
The only time that most women give their orating husbands undivided attention is when the old boys mumble in their sleep.
Quotes to Explore
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I was 17 when I was forced into marriage. I had no hand in it, and I didn't even enjoy being with the man. Also, I wanted to study, but no one listened to me. I wanted to move forward in life, it wasn't a happy situation. Because of some family problems, I had to stick around.
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I don't know that human beings were meant to mate for life or be monogamous. But, for me, the aspect of marriage that is troubling is that it's a contract that is governed by the state, and I don't want the state to have control over my personal affairs.
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One client's wife managed to steam the labels off all of the several hundred bottles in her husband's prestigious wine collection, so the collection was worthless. The husband hosted 'What's that wine?' dinner parties.
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You have to find the right situation, and you have to be in that right mindset where you can give everything you have to that. Because whatever I do, I want to be the best at. I want to be the best husband. I want to be the best father.
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If my own current husband was suddenly a stay-at-home dad, it would be emasculating. That would be hard for me.
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Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a great actress, and you've seen the devil.
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Even though people may be well known, they hold in their hearts the emotions of a simple person for the moments that are the most important of those we know on earth: birth, marriage and death.
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When I'm writing, I spend all my time in The Grocer on Elgin buying ready-made meals; I think they are the only reason my husband and kids haven't left me.
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They see me as being this Super Mom on TV who also can more than handle a difficult husband, and they assume I'm going to be just full of wisdom as a mother and wife myself.
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I respect people who can do both careers, like Will Smith and a couple of other people who have done it, but I just don't know when they sleep.
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Marriage is socialism among two people.
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I am miserable when everything is in order and quiet. Seriously, it's hard for me when I can go home quietly, go to sleep, and get up in the morning without fear and tension.
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Even after marriage, our home is important for us.
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'Antiques Roadshow' is my favorite show. Every Monday night I have one hour of appointment television. I get the popcorn out and tell my husband, 'Don't bother me.'
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I cannot be awake for nothing looks to me as it did before, Or else I am awake for the first time, and all before has been a mean sleep.
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After a day in Cannes, I pass out before I even get to my bed. I'll get to my room, order room service, shower, and sleep.
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I believe in traditional marriage.
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Turn resolutely to work, to recreation, or in any case to physical exercise till you are so tired you can't help going to sleep, and when you wake up you won't want to worry.
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When Stephen Harper was elected as the new Conservative Prime Minister - and he talked about repealing gay marriage and putting it to a vote in the House of Commons - Elton and I talked about getting married in Canada to make a statement, for ideological and political reasons.
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I don't have this fantasy about marriage anymore. Everyone says it takes hard work. Well, it kind of does -- and I'm much more pragmatic about romance than I used to be. [With Scott] I wanted to see him as a white knight and was crushed whenever anything normal happened. I wanted to be the princess. Now I'm much more willing to see myself as human and flawed, and accept someone -- the whole picture. My life is definitely changing for the better. I couldn't be happier or feel more comfortable with the direction it's going in.
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Any woman who still thinks marriage is a fifty-fifty proposition is only proving that she doesn't understand either men or percentages.
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I love the magic of stories and the power of stories.
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The only time that most women give their orating husbands undivided attention is when the old boys mumble in their sleep.
