Wilson Mizner Quotes
The only time that most women give their orating husbands undivided attention is when the old boys mumble in their sleep.
Quotes to Explore
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I was 17 when I was forced into marriage. I had no hand in it, and I didn't even enjoy being with the man. Also, I wanted to study, but no one listened to me. I wanted to move forward in life, it wasn't a happy situation. Because of some family problems, I had to stick around.
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I don't know that human beings were meant to mate for life or be monogamous. But, for me, the aspect of marriage that is troubling is that it's a contract that is governed by the state, and I don't want the state to have control over my personal affairs.
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One client's wife managed to steam the labels off all of the several hundred bottles in her husband's prestigious wine collection, so the collection was worthless. The husband hosted 'What's that wine?' dinner parties.
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You have to find the right situation, and you have to be in that right mindset where you can give everything you have to that. Because whatever I do, I want to be the best at. I want to be the best husband. I want to be the best father.
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If my own current husband was suddenly a stay-at-home dad, it would be emasculating. That would be hard for me.
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Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a great actress, and you've seen the devil.
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Even though people may be well known, they hold in their hearts the emotions of a simple person for the moments that are the most important of those we know on earth: birth, marriage and death.
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When I'm writing, I spend all my time in The Grocer on Elgin buying ready-made meals; I think they are the only reason my husband and kids haven't left me.
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They see me as being this Super Mom on TV who also can more than handle a difficult husband, and they assume I'm going to be just full of wisdom as a mother and wife myself.
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I respect people who can do both careers, like Will Smith and a couple of other people who have done it, but I just don't know when they sleep.
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Marriage is socialism among two people.
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I am miserable when everything is in order and quiet. Seriously, it's hard for me when I can go home quietly, go to sleep, and get up in the morning without fear and tension.
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Even after marriage, our home is important for us.
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'Antiques Roadshow' is my favorite show. Every Monday night I have one hour of appointment television. I get the popcorn out and tell my husband, 'Don't bother me.'
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I cannot be awake for nothing looks to me as it did before, Or else I am awake for the first time, and all before has been a mean sleep.
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After a day in Cannes, I pass out before I even get to my bed. I'll get to my room, order room service, shower, and sleep.
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I believe in traditional marriage.
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Turn resolutely to work, to recreation, or in any case to physical exercise till you are so tired you can't help going to sleep, and when you wake up you won't want to worry.
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I don't let the children watch TV on weeknights. They practice playing musical instruments instead. Both my sons play piano, drums and guitar, so my husband and I listen to them in the evening.
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Geniuses are horrid, intolerant, easily offended, sleeplessly self-conscious men, who expect their wives to be angels with no further business in life than to pet and worship their husbands. Even at the best they are not comfortable men to live with; and a perfect husband is one who is perfectly comfortable to live with.
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The American story is a story of immigration. I would be the last person who would say immigrants are not important to America.
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It is at a fair that man can be drunk forever on liquor, love, or fights; at a fair that your front pocket can be picked by a trotting horse looking for sugar, and your hind pocket by a thief looking for his fortune.
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Having a baby is a disaster for your career. I don't think there's any sympathy.
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The only time that most women give their orating husbands undivided attention is when the old boys mumble in their sleep.
