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Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
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If you can see the handwriting on the wall... you're on the toilet.
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Do you realize that if the pilgrims have been chasing bobcats instead of turkeys.. we'd all be eating pussy on Thanksgiving?!
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I'm a Sagittarian, see, I can't be fenced in. I been living in Las Vegas, greatest city in the world. I look out my window for 100 miles. In Vegas, there's nothing to do but gamble, drink or have sex. I have two of 'em.
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What's an archive, son? Is that anything like a closet?
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I've been trying to get into the Royal Box in New York for years. They say I'm too dirty, my material is too blue. But I think Redd, the whites and blue can be a nice combination.
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I'm convinced that Sanford and Son shows middle-class America a lot of what they need to know.
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Junk runs in the family. My granddad was a junk man in St. Louis and so was my uncle.
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Sanford and Son is more than just a name. It's a condition, a dynasty, an empire. This here is the finest pile of junk of the world.
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A girl's legs are her best friends...but even the best of friends must part.
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It's some chopped liver. That's Jewish soul food.
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I ain't from Africa. I'm from St. Louis.
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Beauty may be skin deep, but ugly goes clear to the bone.
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You make me wish that birth control was retroactive.
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The show doesn't drive home a lesson, but it can open up people's minds enough for them to see how stupid every kind of prejudice can be.
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The food here is so tasteless you could eat a meal of it and belch and it wouldn't remind you of anything.
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Music played a large role in the survival of the black people in America — that and a sense of humor that just couldn't be enslaved.
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Certain things should be yours to have when you work your way to the top.
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Hey! Leave the door open will ya? The flies haven't been out all day.
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This is the big one! You hear that, Elizabeth? I'm coming to join ya, honey!
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I feel sorry for people who don't drink or do drugs. Because someday they're going to be in a hospital bed, dying, and they won't know why.
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What's the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom? A pickpocket snatches watches.
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I carry a knife now because I read in a white magazine that all black people carry knives. So I rushed out and bought me one.
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The definition of indecent – when it’s in long, and it’s in hard, and it’s in deep – it’s in decent.