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You know what’s really good is a greyhound in the shower.
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You need to update your blog a couple of times a week. You need to post a Twitter here and there. It feels so dumb to say that stuff, but it's important for me to keep that presence going.
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Wouldn't the world be a cleaner place if we gave blind people brooms instead of canes?
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I don't know if people really care about my opinion on things or how I come up with things, and maybe that's an insecurity and why we're comedians in the first place, so I think with that you keep doing the material, you keep trying to be funny cause you think that's all you're wanted for.
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There's a fear that I don't think people are interested in my actual opinion. I just think people are interested in me being funny.
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I see times in my life and career where I was part of the problem whether I was unaware or too scared to speak up. I want to help make it better.
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I have a wife and anything. That's the arrangement we have. I have a wife, and she's cool. And also I have anything I want.
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I don't want to follow comedians because I don't want to see what they're thinking about, 'cause then maybe I won't stumble across a thought maybe I had about the same subject.
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People can write jokes five minutes after a major world event happens, and have hundreds of thousands of people read them within 10 minutes. Whereas before you write a joke, you don't know if anybody is really touching on it or not, and you tell it onstage the next night. For joke writing it has changed things.
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My general rule of thumb is to never take for granted that it’s opposable.