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Thinking, when you first try it, is very difficult.
Charles Willeford -
Just tell the truth, and they'll accuse you of writing black humor.
Charles Willeford
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Smoking comforts ordinary men, but I'm not an ordinary man. There aren't many like me left. And it's a good thing for the world that there isn't. There'll always be a few of us in America in every generation. Because only a great country like America can produce men like me. I'm not a thinker, I'm a doer.
Charles Willeford -
I can't see any point to hanging around a Burger King all day, no matter how much money you make. .... I'll tell you why. Your life would depend on the random desires of people who wanted a hamburger. So you can just forget about Burger King.
Charles Willeford -
The Filipino houseboy was conscious now
Charles Willeford -
By the end of a short walk, the septic tip of a cane probably collects enough germs to destroy a small city.
Charles Willeford -
I'm not going to ruin my movie because of some stupid ruling that it has to be ninety minutes long. That's just like adding three more plates to the last supper, or an extra wing to the Pentagon.
Charles Willeford -
The diver’s chest. Hoke pushed the bell, and the glass
Charles Willeford
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He was an oddity of some magnitude.
Charles Willeford -
My work is one long triumph over my limitations.
Charles Willeford -
Money is the root of all goodness. To talk disparagingly about money is the privilege of those who have money. There are also those people who state matter-of-factly that "money isn't everything". This statement is also true, but only so long as one has money.
Charles Willeford -
There is something about a man with a beard I cannot stand. No particular reason for it. Prejudice, I suppose. I feel the same way about cats.
Charles Willeford -
A man should always observe fanaticism when he gets the chance.
Charles Willeford -
No whiskey, no religion, nothing.
Charles Willeford
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Anymore cutting and the movie would be as silly as cutting a condensed Reader's Digest novel.
Charles Willeford -
Outside of taking care of a man’s needs, women don’t get much pleasure out of life, anyways.
Charles Willeford -
It started out as kind of a joke, and then it wasn't funny anymore because money became involved. Deep down, nothing about money is funny.
Charles Willeford -
Nothing human surprises me.
Charles Willeford