Larry the Cable Guy Quotes
Good Lord, I went in for a check up the other day and the doctor said 'You need to lay off eggs.' I go 'Is my cholesterol bad?' He said 'No, your farts are killing everybody in this room.'

Quotes to Explore
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Don't go into any store that features shopping bags that can stand on their own accord in the middle of a table. This sort of shopping bag denotes prices that will start chipping into your children's college education fund. Avoid it.
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When I go to my health club, and it's in the basement, you have to take the elevator down. And this drives me crazy. Why can't there be a stairway? At least make it as easy to exercise as it is to not exercise. It's in society's interest for me to take the stairs.
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I've never been that guy who says, 'Ooh, I have to play King Lear'. First off, that'd be a disaster anyway. I tend to read something and see who's involved, and then know I want to be part of it. But I don't think I'm through with comedy. I still love to make people laugh.
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Fiction was invented the day Jonas arrived home and told his wife that he was three days late because he had been swallowed by a whale.
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It was wrongly assumed that I wished to become some sort of leader among gay activists, whereas in reality I was happier to be a foot soldier.
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You must learn from the mistakes of others. You can't possibly live long enough to make them all yourself.
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Every time a blast happens, people ask, 'But why would someone do this?' Weirdly, it hasn't been answered well anywhere - neither in fiction nor non-fiction.
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I'm not looking to go out there and make a rhythmic Timbaland track.
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When the British became Christian, Christianity in no way altered their political organisation.
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My reading and drawing drew me away from the ordinary interests, and I lived a great deal in the world of imagination, feeding upon any book that fell into my hands. When I had got hold of a really thick book like Hugo's 'Les Miserables,' I was happy and would go off into a corner to devour it.
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In '94, we made the deal during collective bargaining that wasn't the right deal, just to save the season. Allowing the 'in the crease' rule, the foot-in-the-crease rule, we should have not done.
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Everybody sees me as this sullen and insecure little thing. Those are just the sides of me that I feel it's necessary to show because no one else seems to be showing them.
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I really detest movies like 'Indecent Proposal' and 'Pretty Woman' because they send a message to women that sleeping with a rich man is the ultimate goal and really that's such a small part of it.
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Cinematic icons of the police detective are more male role models than female.
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The Recovery plan will put money in the pockets of the American worker, create and save millions of new jobs and invest in crucial areas such as health care, education, energy independence and a new infrastructure.
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There are competing studies on how much crime drops or doesn't drop when there are strict rules on gun possession and sale. I don't think there's any question that New York City's very tough laws have reduced violence.
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I love the Army with every bone in my body.
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I think it's an unbelievable responsibility to our sport, coaching in New York, because the fans are probably the most knowledgeable, or as knowledgeable as any team in the League.
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Virtue is relative to the actions and ages of each of us in all that we do.
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The blessings of the priesthood transcend our ability to comprehend.
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I would like to do a movie where the moments could be extended and you could have the freedom of that, but I'm not precious, if it moves the story and doesn't take away from it.
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The deadpan brilliance of John McCrea has been underrepresented in music since 2004, when Cake served up 'Pressure Chief.'
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I think musicians are always very generous in promoting anything good they hear. It's just kind of in our nature.
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Good Lord, I went in for a check up the other day and the doctor said 'You need to lay off eggs.' I go 'Is my cholesterol bad?' He said 'No, your farts are killing everybody in this room.'