Larry the Cable Guy Quotes
Good Lord, I went in for a check up the other day and the doctor said 'You need to lay off eggs.' I go 'Is my cholesterol bad?' He said 'No, your farts are killing everybody in this room.'
Quotes to Explore
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Don't go into any store that features shopping bags that can stand on their own accord in the middle of a table. This sort of shopping bag denotes prices that will start chipping into your children's college education fund. Avoid it.
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When I go to my health club, and it's in the basement, you have to take the elevator down. And this drives me crazy. Why can't there be a stairway? At least make it as easy to exercise as it is to not exercise. It's in society's interest for me to take the stairs.
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To receive everything, one must open one's hands and give.
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I've never been that guy who says, 'Ooh, I have to play King Lear'. First off, that'd be a disaster anyway. I tend to read something and see who's involved, and then know I want to be part of it. But I don't think I'm through with comedy. I still love to make people laugh.
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Fiction was invented the day Jonas arrived home and told his wife that he was three days late because he had been swallowed by a whale.
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It was wrongly assumed that I wished to become some sort of leader among gay activists, whereas in reality I was happier to be a foot soldier.
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You must learn from the mistakes of others. You can't possibly live long enough to make them all yourself.
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Every time a blast happens, people ask, 'But why would someone do this?' Weirdly, it hasn't been answered well anywhere - neither in fiction nor non-fiction.
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I'm not looking to go out there and make a rhythmic Timbaland track.
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When the British became Christian, Christianity in no way altered their political organisation.
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My reading and drawing drew me away from the ordinary interests, and I lived a great deal in the world of imagination, feeding upon any book that fell into my hands. When I had got hold of a really thick book like Hugo's 'Les Miserables,' I was happy and would go off into a corner to devour it.
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In '94, we made the deal during collective bargaining that wasn't the right deal, just to save the season. Allowing the 'in the crease' rule, the foot-in-the-crease rule, we should have not done.
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People want to imagine I spend every night going to premieres and putting on frocks and getting into limos, and yet I do that maybe twice a year, if that.
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Everybody sees me as this sullen and insecure little thing. Those are just the sides of me that I feel it's necessary to show because no one else seems to be showing them.
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I really detest movies like 'Indecent Proposal' and 'Pretty Woman' because they send a message to women that sleeping with a rich man is the ultimate goal and really that's such a small part of it.
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Cinematic icons of the police detective are more male role models than female.
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The Recovery plan will put money in the pockets of the American worker, create and save millions of new jobs and invest in crucial areas such as health care, education, energy independence and a new infrastructure.
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There are competing studies on how much crime drops or doesn't drop when there are strict rules on gun possession and sale. I don't think there's any question that New York City's very tough laws have reduced violence.
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I think working with Johnny Depp was very intimidating. It was my fault though. I mean he's a total cool nice, nice guy, but I was just so, I don't know, overpowered by his presence. Like he's a very mystic person. He's older so I never really warmed up around him. I was so stiff.
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I have a little easier time watching the NFL than college or high school. I used to go to the high school games, and now I have trouble with it. The NFL players get big rewards from it. I feel at least the NFL has made big changes to help their safety. And they're adults - they can make good decisions.
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I like a naturalism to my dialogue and my comedy. I would rather have a few jokes sail by that might be more subtle than have every single joke hit hard. I would rather the comedy come out of character as opposed to feeling forced. Even if you're giving some laughs up for it.
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Why, listening to Obama talk about his economic triumphs over the last three years might make you want to move to the country he was describing. Too bad that country exists primarily in his own head.
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Fatigue is the safest sleeping draught.
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Good Lord, I went in for a check up the other day and the doctor said 'You need to lay off eggs.' I go 'Is my cholesterol bad?' He said 'No, your farts are killing everybody in this room.'
