Larry the Cable Guy Quotes
Good Lord, I went in for a check up the other day and the doctor said 'You need to lay off eggs.' I go 'Is my cholesterol bad?' He said 'No, your farts are killing everybody in this room.'
Quotes to Explore
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Perfection is immutable. But for things imperfect, change is the way to perfect them.
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Don't go into any store that features shopping bags that can stand on their own accord in the middle of a table. This sort of shopping bag denotes prices that will start chipping into your children's college education fund. Avoid it.
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When I go to my health club, and it's in the basement, you have to take the elevator down. And this drives me crazy. Why can't there be a stairway? At least make it as easy to exercise as it is to not exercise. It's in society's interest for me to take the stairs.
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To receive everything, one must open one's hands and give.
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Every group has its idiosyncrasies, but at a certain point we all are human.
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I've never been that guy who says, 'Ooh, I have to play King Lear'. First off, that'd be a disaster anyway. I tend to read something and see who's involved, and then know I want to be part of it. But I don't think I'm through with comedy. I still love to make people laugh.
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I struggled with being a broke college graduate, and while all my friends were getting career jobs, I was working horrible part-time jobs. That's why now, even when I get tired, I think, 'This is what I asked for.'
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Fiction was invented the day Jonas arrived home and told his wife that he was three days late because he had been swallowed by a whale.
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You can't create a monster, then whine when it stomps on a few buildings.
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It was wrongly assumed that I wished to become some sort of leader among gay activists, whereas in reality I was happier to be a foot soldier.
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You must learn from the mistakes of others. You can't possibly live long enough to make them all yourself.
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Every time a blast happens, people ask, 'But why would someone do this?' Weirdly, it hasn't been answered well anywhere - neither in fiction nor non-fiction.
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I'm not looking to go out there and make a rhythmic Timbaland track.
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When the British became Christian, Christianity in no way altered their political organisation.
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My reading and drawing drew me away from the ordinary interests, and I lived a great deal in the world of imagination, feeding upon any book that fell into my hands. When I had got hold of a really thick book like Hugo's 'Les Miserables,' I was happy and would go off into a corner to devour it.
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In '94, we made the deal during collective bargaining that wasn't the right deal, just to save the season. Allowing the 'in the crease' rule, the foot-in-the-crease rule, we should have not done.
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People want to imagine I spend every night going to premieres and putting on frocks and getting into limos, and yet I do that maybe twice a year, if that.
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Everybody sees me as this sullen and insecure little thing. Those are just the sides of me that I feel it's necessary to show because no one else seems to be showing them.
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I really detest movies like 'Indecent Proposal' and 'Pretty Woman' because they send a message to women that sleeping with a rich man is the ultimate goal and really that's such a small part of it.
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I've played many criminals, but I loved playing somebody on the right side of the law who had a family and who had ethics.
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When I first started writing, I used to listen to music all the time because it would make time pass more quickly. And then I started to wonder if the music wasn't affecting my writing in ways that I didn't necessarily intend.
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I didn't know I was compared to Elizabeth Montgomery, but I think that I'm in very good company with her.
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God, it was hot! Forget about frying an egg on the sidewalk; this kind of heat would fry an egg inside the chicken.
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Good Lord, I went in for a check up the other day and the doctor said 'You need to lay off eggs.' I go 'Is my cholesterol bad?' He said 'No, your farts are killing everybody in this room.'
