Chic Murray Quotes

United Kingdom, Comedian
November 6, 1919 – January, 29, 1985.

Charles Thomas McKinnon "Chic" Murray was a Scottish comedian and actor. He appeared in various roles on British television and film, most notably in the 1967 version of Casino Royale, and portrayed Liverpool Football Club manager Bill Shankly in a musical. In 2005, he was named in The Comedian's Comedian.

My father was a simple man; my mother was a simple woman; you see the result standing in front of you, a simpleton.

Chic Murray
- Mother
- Father
- Simple
My parents never understood me; they were Japanese.

Chic Murray
- Funny
- Parent
- Humor

I took my father on a coach trip last summer.We were halfway there when the driver lost control of the coach, it flew down a hill around a bend and crashed through a brick wall. I wasn't hurt but luckily my father had the presence of mind to kick my head in.

Chic Murray
- Mind
- Father
- Funny
There's a new slimming course just out where they remove all your bones. Not only do you weigh less, but you also look so much more relaxed.

Chic Murray
- Funny
- Looks
- Humor
A neighbour put his budgerigar in the mincing machine and invented shredded tweet.

Chic Murray
- Machines
- Neighbour
- Tweet
We were so poor; the ultimate luxury in our house at the time was ashtrays without advertisements.

Chic Murray
- House
- Poor
- Ultimate
If something's neither here nor there, where the hell is it?

Chic Murray
- Funny
- Humor
- Hell
So there I was lying in the gutter. A man stopped and asked '"What's the matter? Did you fall over?" So I said "No. I've a bar of toffee in my back pocket and I was just trying to break it."

Chic Murray
- Trying
- Funny
- Fall

She had been married so often she bought a drip-dry wedding dress.

Chic Murray
- Married
- Dresses
Kippers : fish that like a lot of sleep.

Chic Murray
- Funny
- Sleep
- Humor