Jack Dee Quotes
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The rain forest has Sting. Now Siberia has Jack Dee. Someone had to draw the short straw. In this case it was the rain forest.
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One of my friends went on a murder weekend... now he is doing life for it.
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Maybe I fear things going wrong so much that I pre-empt them by not getting excited about them when they appear to be. going well.
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Comedy and tragedy are two sides of the same coin. A talent in one area might also lead to a predisposition in the other.
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But I like going to church. If you've been brought up in the Church of England, it feels like visiting an elderly relative. And I think it's important that part of the kids' education is knowing about the Bible.
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I took religion much too seriously, however, and its overall effect was depressing. I would have really liked to discard it, but somehow I couldn't.
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I was so keen to become a comedian that actually doing the comedy itself almost came second.
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I had a longing for ritual, something I could cling to, a routine to make me feel well and contented. I hoped that reading Bible commentaries and theological critiques would nudge me closer to some kind of absolute that I could hold up as a torch to light my way.
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I really like rustic mediterranean cooking. And I like trying out curry takeaways.
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I think it is more a cautiousness that protects me from enthusiasm about things. I tend not to get excited. People perceive it as a scowl, which is fair enough.
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In particular, I found praying very disturbing, like swimming with bricks tied to your feet. And yet I was drawn to it constantly.
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I love mixing with comedians when I'm working with them, but when I'm not I don't feel the need to hang around with them.
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I have had issues with depression all my life, and it's probably true to say there was a tendency towards it even when I was very young, during my schooldays. There was often - and this is quite common with comics - a sense of not feeling as if I belonged anywhere.
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The good thing about 'Have I Got News For You' is it's a compact show but it still gives everyone space to breathe, and everyone always gets a chance to say something if they want to. It's a very difficult show to dominate, and guests who come on and dominate always fall foul.
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The jokes are great but what really matters for a comedian is his performance, his whole attitude, and the laughs that he gets between the jokes rather than on top of the jokes.
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If I've inadvertently become some sort of role model for failed comedians, then it's really backfired very badly on me.
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I'm just part of a tradition of people who aren't pleased. I would never think anyone else who has the same attitude was getting it from me. I'd just think they're... sensible.
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I hate people who think it's clever to take drugs... like custom officers.
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There were a few teachers who just did not like me because of my face. Once, I was told to stand in the corner until I cheered up. The attitude was, 'Oh, for God's sake, what's the matter with him?' But it's just a natural expression.
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In many ways, not fitting in has been a comedic asset and a comedic resource.
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The book is called 'Thanks for Nothing' and it's really the story of how I got into comedy and traces back every strand in my life that is relevant to that story. It's kind of an autobiography but isn't, as it stops about 25 years ago. It goes right up to the first time I do stand up.
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I really hated fighting people and hurting them, but felt unable to stop.
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I don't think anyone's particularly conscious of thinking suits are the thing, but when you see a comedian on stage in jeans and a t-shirt it doesn't matter how good they are - it always looks like amateur hour when they walk onto the stage.
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I don't like men who blow-dry their hair. If you are a man and you blow-dry your hair, then I don't like you and that's all there is to it.