Gary Gulman Quotes
-
Every cookie is a sugar cookie. A cookie without sugar is a cracker.
-
Rich people are just like us though they now eat their meals off square shaped plates.
-
If you are 26 years old and you're waking up under Star Wars sheets... the Force is not with you.
-
Do you know what Bill Gates has to pull out of an old coat, to feel like I did with a $20 bill? First of all, the idea that Bill Gates has an old coat is preposterous. If he has an old coat, it's the coat Abe Lincoln was shot in and he wears it as a bathrobe - no underwear by the way. He lets his billionaire balls swing willy-nilly beneath the death cloak of the great emancipator. That's your 1%.
-
Just saw an orthodox Jewish kid do 3 pull-ups on the scaffolding. Shattering the previous record.
-
I have 236 movies on my queue and I feel like I should always be watching movies. Like if I wake up in the middle of the night and don't fall directly back to sleep, I'm like, 'I've been up for an hour and a half I could have watched 'Toy Story 3' by now.' In this economy it is a sin not to be watching movies when you have Netflix.
-
Ever drive by one of those things on the highway which tells you how fast you're going? I don't even pay attention to them anymore because I found a similar gadget in my dashboard... Some people slow down at those things... I don't slow down. I speed up and set the high score.
-
Don't go back over your life with a red pen.
-
Some people hate Jews. Fine, alright it's been done. I mean, that's part of my problem with it. Could you hate somebody new? I'm not giving you any suggestions but the Belgians have had a good run.
-
No matter what time of year it's always funny when a person walks by me dressed in religious garb and I say Happy Halloween!