Zach Braff Quotes
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It was really starting to get pathetic, everyday they would come in looking for one thing or another. 'Zach, can you give me some acting tips?' 'Zach, will you let me blow you?' 'Can I have some cash?' That's when I made the call, that's when I decided seven was enough
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Working on 'Scrubs' made me feel guilty because I realized that if I had decided to become an actual doctor, instead of just playing one, I could probably have found a cure to cancer within five years.
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I could see why someone would want to make a website about me, and my quotes. They are all gold. How many people have written, directed AND starred in their own movies. I just don't know why they would want to put words into my mouth, I mean I did write, direct AND star in a critically acclaimed movie.
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Now, I'm not going to be misquoted on this like I have numerous times before, so I'll be quite clear. I've never said hitler was my hero, just that if he had focused on more than one race he would have had the right idea. Try to turn that one against me.
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As a Jew I think it's really important to come to this place. There is such a tremendous sense of community, tremendous bond for obvious reasons. I don't know if Israelis have a sense of it because they live here, but I love it.
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It raises several serious questions. For example, how can there possibly be more than one person as awesome as me?
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I've had to remove all mirrors from my home. I just can't seem to look at myself without having to buff the bishop, you know?
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When you were a kid and the circus came to town it was awesome to see these little creatures, but these things go out of fashion, like polyester blazers with rolled up sleeves. We don't have to suffer them anymore so why are there all these little people running around?
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I figure it this way - if a woman claims she didn't want me to fudge her, then you already know she's a liar. So what the hell's the point of a trial, y'know?
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A lot of people consider 9/11 to be a tragedy, and in some ways it is, but I think there's also opportunity for a lot of humor there.
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I don't even like the show that much, I mean, it's about doctors. It's not like doctors are as important as actors anyway, I bet I've saved more lives with my acting talent then any doctor has.
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When I first moved to L.A., I thought about turning gay. Then I realized none of the guys I was interested in was good enough for me.
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My dog has a cough. If you've never seen a dog with a cough, I recommend trying to find one. It's hilarious.
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You always see black people complaining about this and that, but you never see me complaining about how slow they work on my plantation.
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Most people just aren't grateful for the lives they have, and it really saddens me. For instance, I said 'hello' to a man the other day, and he didn't even recognize me. It just really saddens me.
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I don't belive Oprah's sexual abuse stories, I mean who would take a black girl when there are plenty of white?
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I feel really bad for everyone who died on 9/11. Not just the people in the World Trade Center, Pentagon, or Flight 93, but all of the terrorists, too. 'Garden State' came out in 2004. That means none of them got a chance to see it. Let that sink in for a second. No wonder they're building a memorial.
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It blows my mind that there are people out there who deny the holocaust. Why would you ever deny such a great achievement. It's like denying the cure for polio or something.
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Of course killing people is 'wrong', but I think history shows that sometimes it serves the greater good.
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A kid came up to me the other day and said, 'Hey, you're the guy on Scrubs!' Kid, I am Scrubs, and don't you forget it.
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At first, I didn't really care if global warming existed. But then I realized it means that less bums would freeze to death in the winter
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At this point I feel like I could go out and accomplish anything. I'd just love to see Will Smith's face if he found out I, Z-Braff, have the number one rap album in the country. That'd show that no-talent uncle tom.
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I definitely try to play a common man in my roles so people can identify with my characters, but the truth of the matter is that it doesn't really matter what I do or my lines are, I'm still Zach Braff, and people know I'm better than them.
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I once fisted two babies and then used the corpses as boxing gloves to fight off the grieving parents.