Zach Galifianakis Quotes

Fat jokes to me are always, always hilarious, as long as they're done towards yourself.

Zach Galifianakis

• Long
• Always
• Jokes
• Hilarious

• Previous
• Next

Quotes to Explore

• I've done quite a few things based on real events or real people, and I think that's always really interesting that you can read about them or, if you're lucky, you can meet them.

  

  Sam Heughan
  • People
  • Real
  • Done

• I have an issue with rage. I'm going to work that out, long term.

  

  Nate Corddry
  • Work
  • Long
  • Rage

• Marriage happens; it can't be planned. When it has to happen, it will happen. Normally, what we always believe is that however prepared you are, if it's not meant to happen, it won't. And however much we have not planned, it will still happen if it's destined.

  

  Rani Mukerji
  • Believe
  • Always
  • Marriage

• I think shortly after I got signed, it just started to dawn on me that I had something to say and that Yahweh put something in my heart to share with the world.

  

  D'Angelo
  • World
  • Heart
  • Me

• I live a half mile from the San Andreas fault - a fact that bubbles up into my consciousness every time some other part of the world experiences an earthquake. I sometimes wonder whether this subterranean sense of impending disaster is at least partly responsible for Silicon Valley's feverish, get-it-done-yesterday work norms.

  

  Gary Hamel
  • Up
  • Time
  • World

• With the common Iranian threat bringing the Sunni Arab world and Israel closer together, an Israeli-Palestinian peace would go a long way in improving relations and rebuffing Iran's regional ambitions.

  

  Edgar Bronfman, Sr.
  • World
  • Long
  • Together

• I had to let my ego go a long time ago.

  

  Sally Field
  • Time
  • Long
  • Ego

• In the 1970s in New York, everyone slept till noon. It was a grungy, dangerous, bankrupt city without normal services most of the time. The garbage piled up and stank during long strikes by the sanitation workers. A major blackout led to days and days of looting. The city seemed either frightening or risible to the rest of the nation.

  

  Edmund White
  • Up
  • Time
  • Long

• I've learned to look like I'm listening to long confusing plots of cartoons and comic books when I'm actually sound asleep or making grocery shopping lists in my head.

  

  Patricia Heaton
  • Long
  • Listening
  • Look

• Send me one hundred francs on our future deals, otherwise I will disappear in a cataclysm.

  

  Camille Claudel
  • Future
  • Disappear
  • Cataclysm

• I'm in this band to give volume to various struggles throughout the world. To me, the tension in this band is a minimal sacrifice.

  

  Zack de la Rocha Rage Against the Machine
  • World
  • Band
  • Sacrifice

• Mr. Trump, Americans can't afford, and don't want, to worry about the latest lawsuit filed against their president. And you're not immune from these suits once you enter the Oval Office. Anything you've done before taking office is fair game.

  

  Fabrizio Moreira
  • Done
  • Game
  • Worry

• I always had a feeling when I was a kid that I didn't really know what was going on. Everybody else knew stuff that I didn't know.

  

  S. J. Rozan
  • Feeling
  • Know
  • Always

• I guess my favorite artists are The White Stripes or Tom Waits. The more theatrical the music is, the more I get into it. I also like the quieter folk music, that kind of old-school rockabilly or country. I'm not really picky when it comes to music, as long as it's honest.

  

  Landon Liboiron
  • Music
  • Long
  • Country

• I've done loads of things people have never seen - dramas on BBC4 and plays upstairs at the Royal Court and the Bush - and because I didn't go to drama school, they gave me an education.

  

  Rafe Spall
  • People
  • School
  • Done

• My camps are always ten weeks. That's what makes me comfortable.

  

  Canelo Alvarez
  • Me
  • Always
  • Comfortable

• You can always spot a well informed man - his views are the same as yours.

  

  Ilka Chase
  • Man
  • Always
  • Same

• I love the smell of freshly cut grass. It takes me back to summers in Maine.

  

  Rachel Nichols
  • Smell
  • Grass
  • Summers

• Having spent 37 years of my life in the military as a reservist, and never having met a gay in all of that time, and never having even talked about it in all those years, I just thought, why the hell shouldn't they serve? They're American citizens. As long as they're not doing things that are harmful to anyone else... So I came out for it.

  

  Barry Goldwater
  • Life
  • Time
  • Long

• The things that make me angry still make me angry. George Carlin is 67, and he's still as funny as he's ever been, and he's still angry. And that makes me feel good, because I feel like if I stick around long enough, I'll still be able to work.

  

  Denis Leary
  • Good
  • Work
  • Long

• One of my favorite moments was when I stepped onstage for my first Victoria's Secret show in 2010, It felt like all that work finally paid off. I had long legs that I worked hard all year to keep, and it felt great being able to show them off.

  

  Lais Ribeiro
  • Work
  • Great
  • Long

• In the US everybody is about what's new and what's next and they don't really build a real loyalty as much as in Europe - if you were ever good and they liked you, they will treat it with the respect that it still matters.

  

  Rob Zombie
  • Good
  • Real
  • Respect

• Fat jokes to me are always, always hilarious, as long as they're done towards yourself.

  

  Zach Galifianakis
  • Long
  • Always
  • Jokes