Zach Galifianakis Quotes

Fat jokes to me are always, always hilarious, as long as they're done towards yourself.

Zach Galifianakis

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Quotes to Explore

• I've done quite a few things based on real events or real people, and I think that's always really interesting that you can read about them or, if you're lucky, you can meet them.

  

  Sam Heughan
  • People
  • Real
  • Done

• I have an issue with rage. I'm going to work that out, long term.

  

  Nate Corddry
  • Work
  • Long
  • Rage

• Marriage happens; it can't be planned. When it has to happen, it will happen. Normally, what we always believe is that however prepared you are, if it's not meant to happen, it won't. And however much we have not planned, it will still happen if it's destined.

  

  Rani Mukerji
  • Believe
  • Always
  • Marriage

• I think shortly after I got signed, it just started to dawn on me that I had something to say and that Yahweh put something in my heart to share with the world.

  

  D'Angelo
  • World
  • Heart
  • Me

• I live a half mile from the San Andreas fault - a fact that bubbles up into my consciousness every time some other part of the world experiences an earthquake. I sometimes wonder whether this subterranean sense of impending disaster is at least partly responsible for Silicon Valley's feverish, get-it-done-yesterday work norms.

  

  Gary Hamel
  • Up
  • Time
  • World

• With the common Iranian threat bringing the Sunni Arab world and Israel closer together, an Israeli-Palestinian peace would go a long way in improving relations and rebuffing Iran's regional ambitions.

  

  Edgar Bronfman, Sr.
  • World
  • Long
  • Together

• I had to let my ego go a long time ago.

  

  Sally Field
  • Time
  • Long
  • Ego

• In the 1970s in New York, everyone slept till noon. It was a grungy, dangerous, bankrupt city without normal services most of the time. The garbage piled up and stank during long strikes by the sanitation workers. A major blackout led to days and days of looting. The city seemed either frightening or risible to the rest of the nation.

  

  Edmund White
  • Up
  • Time
  • Long

• I've learned to look like I'm listening to long confusing plots of cartoons and comic books when I'm actually sound asleep or making grocery shopping lists in my head.

  

  Patricia Heaton
  • Long
  • Listening
  • Look

• Send me one hundred francs on our future deals, otherwise I will disappear in a cataclysm.

  

  Camille Claudel
  • Future
  • Disappear
  • Cataclysm

• I'm in this band to give volume to various struggles throughout the world. To me, the tension in this band is a minimal sacrifice.

  

  Zack de la Rocha Rage Against the Machine
  • World
  • Band
  • Sacrifice

• Mr. Trump, Americans can't afford, and don't want, to worry about the latest lawsuit filed against their president. And you're not immune from these suits once you enter the Oval Office. Anything you've done before taking office is fair game.

  

  Fabrizio Moreira
  • Done
  • Game
  • Worry

• I always had a feeling when I was a kid that I didn't really know what was going on. Everybody else knew stuff that I didn't know.

  

  S. J. Rozan
  • Feeling
  • Know
  • Always

• I guess my favorite artists are The White Stripes or Tom Waits. The more theatrical the music is, the more I get into it. I also like the quieter folk music, that kind of old-school rockabilly or country. I'm not really picky when it comes to music, as long as it's honest.

  

  Landon Liboiron
  • Music
  • Long
  • Country

• I've done loads of things people have never seen - dramas on BBC4 and plays upstairs at the Royal Court and the Bush - and because I didn't go to drama school, they gave me an education.

  

  Rafe Spall
  • People
  • School
  • Done

• My camps are always ten weeks. That's what makes me comfortable.

  

  Canelo Alvarez
  • Me
  • Always
  • Comfortable

• You can always spot a well informed man - his views are the same as yours.

  

  Ilka Chase
  • Man
  • Always
  • Same

• I love the smell of freshly cut grass. It takes me back to summers in Maine.

  

  Rachel Nichols
  • Smell
  • Grass
  • Summers

• I am always fascinated by the way kids create their own world. That is something I am very attentive to anywhere I go.

  

  Francis Alys
  • Always
  • Something
  • Fascinated

• When it comes to spiritual truth, how can we know that we are on the right path? One way is by asking the right questions - the kind that help us ponder our progress and evaluate how things are working for us.

  

  Dieter F. Uchtdorf
  • Truth
  • Help
  • Spiritual

• Finding a store that sells synthetic hair in Kigali is easier than locating a Starbucks in New York City without Google Maps.

  

  Elaine Welteroth
  • City
  • Hair

• When I was racing, I had learned that you can't set stock in public adoration or your press clippings. By the time I was 26, I'd heard crowds of 100,000 scream my name, but a week later they couldn't remember who I was. You're a hero today and a bum tomorrow - hero to zero, I sometimes say.

  

  Eddie Rickenbacker
  • Time
  • Remember
  • Today

• My mother taught me the principles of hard work, setting my own goals and visualizing my future. From my early days with Destiny's Child, I understood I had to be focused and dedicated if I wanted true success. We were taught we needed a plan and the discipline to execute that plan to the fullest. I strongly believe if you work hard, whatever you want, it will come to you. I know that's easier said than done but keep trying.

  

  Beyonce Destiny's Child
  • Work
  • Believe
  • Children

• Fat jokes to me are always, always hilarious, as long as they're done towards yourself.

  

  Zach Galifianakis
  • Long
  • Always
  • Jokes