Pamela Meyer Quotes
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High-stakes lying is out of control. And it's costing us big bucks in one way or another. It's not simply a matter of quantifying losses in dollars. It's costing us emotionally and psychologically as well.
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Deception can cost billions. Think Enron, Madoff, the mortgage crisis. Or in the case of double agents and traitors, like Robert Hanssen or Aldrich Ames, lies can betray our country. They can compromise our security. They can undermine democracy. They can cause the deaths of those that defend us.
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Business is a battlefield. You need to be able to go to battle with your team members. Like the military. Know them, trust them, and know who you're working with.
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Breaks in trust are infuriating and hurtful, but they don't entitle you to flame out, throw a fit, or stomp around rolling your eyes. Try to keep the steam from coming out of your ears.
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Research indicates that a pause tends to be a signal that a cluster of deceptive cues is on its way. This is a key reason why voters routinely associate Trump with authenticity: He rarely pauses.
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While it can feel unfair to have to make a career decision because of a morally deficient boss, doing so can sometimes lead you in the right direction, if a bit faster than you otherwise would have preferred.
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A good lie detector doesn't jump to conclusions but tries to understand the person across the table, her personality, and her motivations. Your goal as a lie spotter isn't to point the finger and say, 'You're lying' - your goal is to get to the truth.
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Maybe Trump isn't a racist in private. But he's sure acting like one in public. And his body language is corroborating the evidence.
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Good liars are skilled at reading others well, putting them at ease, managing their own emotions, and intuitively sensing how others perceive them.
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Honest people remember stories in the order of emotional prominence, but liars will recount a story in chronological order. Memory rarely works that way.
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Pay attention to science and not myths: We think liars won't look you in the eyes, but it turns out an honest person will only look you in the eyes about 60 percent of the time.
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Like it or not, we are all liars. Thank goodness. Imagine going through life where everyone is completely honest: 'Those shoes... look like something out of an early Cyndi Lauper video.' 'Your daughter... looks like the spawn of Honey Boo Boo and Elmer Fudd.'
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Genuine expressions of emotion rarely persist longer than five seconds and almost never longer than 10. A fixed smile is likely to conceal anger, anxiety, or some other negative emotion.
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Pummeling an answer out of someone never works. You cannot intimidate someone with aggressive language and think they'll be more forthcoming... that's a caricature of interrogation, part of the TV culture of what it looks like.
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It's counterintuitive to take a long time to hire someone, but it will save you enormous amounts of time and money later. Our biggest mistakes in hiring stem from speed.
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One-year-olds learn concealment. Five-year-olds lie outright: they manipulate via flattery. Nine-year-olds - masters of the cover-up. By the time you enter college, you're going to lie to your mom in one out of every five interactions.
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We lie more to strangers than we lie to co-workers. Extroverts lie more than introverts. Men lie eight times more about themselves than they do other people. Women lie more to protect other people.
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White lies keep social dignity intact and are far more prevalent than most people realize. Several studies have found that an average person is lied to from 10 to 200 times a day - mostly just to keep a conversation going, to avoid conflict, or to establish a connection with someone.
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Cultists do not want to admit they have been manipulated by charisma. Nigerian money scheme victims do not want to accept that they had been swindled. To accept those realities is to accept their own faults. Denial of our own weaknesses is something we all suffer from time to time.
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A narcissist like Trump must constantly inflate and exaggerate in order to keep the supply trains running. He has to brag about how, 'I have a very high IQ' or concoct stories about people agreeing with him.
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In the split-second before someone prepares to answer a question, he will consciously or subconsciously evaluate what the best possible answer might be. For a truthful person, the best possible answer might omit some information. It might have a few extraneous details. But it will still offer the information requested.
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The 'problem lies' are the half-dozen or so falsehoods we hear every day that can lead us down the wrong path in our careers, change how we do business, or dramatically influence our personal lives.
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A liar often smiles subtly while telling a lie; it's an unconscious expression of his delight in getting away with a whopper.
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Politicians aren't special. They lie the same way we all do, revealing their true nature under pressure.