P. G. Wodehouse Quotes
-
The storm is over, there is sunlight in my heart. I have a glass of wine and sit thinking of what has passed.
-
Rex Stout's narrative and dialogue could not be improved, and he passes the supreme test of being rereadable. I don't know how many times I have reread the Wolfe stories, but plenty. I know exactly what is coming and how it is all going to end, but it doesn't matter. That's writing.
-
New York is a small place when it comes to the part of it that wakes up just as the rest is going to bed.
-
Psmith is the only thing in my literary career which was handed to me on a plate with watercress round it, thus enabling me to avoid the blood, sweat and tears inseparable from an author's life.
-
A lesser moustache, under the impact of that quick, agonised expulsion of breath, would have worked loose at the roots.
-
Bradbury Fisher shuddered from head to foot, and his legs wobbled like asparagus stalks.
-
Intoxicated? The word did not express it by a mile. He was oiled, boiled, fried, plastered, whiffled, sozzled, and blotto.
-
In his normal state he would not strike a lamb. I’ve known him to do it’ ‘Do what?’ ‘Not strike lambs
-
I suppose he must have taken about a nine or something in hats. Shows what a rotten thing it is to let your brain develop too much.
-
It was a silver cow. But when I say 'cow', don't go running away with the idea of some decent, self-respecting cudster such as you may observe loading grass into itself in the nearest meadow. This was a sinister, leering, Underworld sort of animal, the kind that would spit out of the side of its mouth for twopence.
-
I was writing a story, 'The Artistic Career of Corky,' about two young men, Bertie Wooster and his friend Corky, getting into a lot of trouble, and neither of them had brains enough to get out of the trouble. I thought: Well, how can I get them out? And I thought: Suppose one of them had an omniscient valet?
-
Chumps always make the best husbands. All the unhappy marriages come from the husbands having brains.
-
She cried in a voice that hit me between the eyebrows and went out at the back of my head.
-
It was a harsh, rasping voice, in its timbre not unlike a sawmill.
-
It was one of those parties where you cough twice before you speak and then decide not to say it after all.
-
The Duke of Dunstable had one-way pockets. He would walk ten miles in the snow to chisel an orphan out of tuppence.
-
I may as well tell you, here and now, that if you are going about the place thinking things pretty, you will never make a modern poet. Be poignant, man, be poignant!
-
I don’t know if you have had the same experience, but the snag I always come up against when I’m telling a story is this dashed difficult problem of where to begin it.
-
The Duke’s moustache was rising and falling like seaweed on an ebb-tide.
-
You would be miserable if you had to go through life with a human doormat with 'Welcome' written on him. You want some one made of sterner stuff. You want, as it were, a sparring-partner, some one with whom you can quarrel happily with the certain knowledge that he will not curl up in a ball for you to kick, but will be there with the return wallop.
-
It was one of those cases where you approve the broad, general principle of an idea but can't help being in a bit of a twitter at the prospect of putting it into practical effect. I explained this to Jeeves, and he said much the same thing had bothered Hamlet.
-
I turned on the pillow with a little moan, and at this juncture Jeeves entered with the vital oolong. I clutched at it like a drowning man at a straw hat.
-
They were real golfers, for real golf is a thing of the spirit, not of mere mechanical excellence of stroke.
-
[He] saw that a peculiar expression had come into his nephew's face; an expression a little like that of a young hindu fakir who having settled himself on his first bed of spikes is beginning to wish that he had chosen one of the easier religions.