P. G. Wodehouse Quotes
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Never put anything on paper, my boy, and never trust a man with a small black moustache.
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'Have you ever seen Spode eat asparagus?'No.'Revolting. It alters one's whole conception of Man as Nature's last word.'
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Memories are like mulligatawny soup in a cheap restaurant. It is best not to stir them.
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It is never difficult to distinguish between a Scotsman with a grievance and a ray of sunshine.
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I started back to the house, and in the drive I met Jeeves. He was at the wheel of Stiffy's car. Beside him, looking like a Scotch elder rebuking sin, was the dog Bartholomew.
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In one second, without any previous training or upbringing, he had become the wettest man in Worcestershire.
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There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.
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A sort of gulpy, gurgly, plobby, squishy, wofflesome sound, like a thousand eager men drinking soup in a foreign restaurant.
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There is enough sadness in life without having fellows like Gussie Fink-Nottle going about in sea boots.
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I could see that, if not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled.
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So was victory turned into defeat, and Billy's jaw became squarer and his eye more full of the light of battle than ever.
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Flowers are happy things.
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As plainly as if it had been the top line on the oculist’s chart I could see what the future held for Bertram.
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Love has had a lot of press-agenting from the oldest times; but there are higher, nobler things than love.
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It was a confusion of ideas between him and one of the lions he was hunting in Kenya that had caused A. B. Spottsworth to make the obituary column. He thought the lion was dead, and the lion thought it wasn't.
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He was white and shaken, like a dry martini.
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‘Oh Brancepeth,’ said the girl, her voice trembling, ‘why haven’t you any money? If only you had the merest pittance - enough for a flat in Mayfair and a little weekend place in the country somewhere and a couple of good cars and a villa in the South of France and a bit of trout fishing on some decent river, I would risk all for love.’
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He uttered a coarse expression which I wouldn't have thought he would have known. It just shows that you can bury yourself in the country and still somehow acquire a vocabulary. No doubt one picks up things from the neighbours - the vicar, the local doctor, the man who brings the milk, and so on.
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Few of them were to be trusted within reach of a trowel and a pile of bricks.
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’You know your Shelley, Bertie!’‘Oh, am I?’
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Her pupils were at once her salvation and her despair. They gave her the means of supporting life, but they made life hardly worth supporting.
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I had not failed to interpret the significance of that dark frown, that bitten lip and those flashing eyes, nor the way the willowy figure had quivered, indicating, unless she had caught a chill, that she was as sore as a sunburned neck.
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A slight throbbing about the temples told me that this discussion had reached saturation point.
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Sudden success in golf is like the sudden acquisition of wealth. It is apt to unsettle and deteriorate the character.