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Flowers are happy things.
P. G. Wodehouse
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There is enough sadness in life without having fellows like Gussie Fink-Nottle going about in sea boots.
P. G. Wodehouse
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Her pupils were at once her salvation and her despair. They gave her the means of supporting life, but they made life hardly worth supporting.
P. G. Wodehouse
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It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them.
P. G. Wodehouse
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So was victory turned into defeat, and Billy's jaw became squarer and his eye more full of the light of battle than ever.
P. G. Wodehouse
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-'What do ties matter, Jeeves, at a time like this?' There is no time, sir, at which ties do not matter
P. G. Wodehouse
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I just sit at a typewriter and curse a bit.
P. G. Wodehouse
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...I mean to say, when a girl, offered a good man’s heart, laughs like a bursting paper bag and tells him not to be a silly ass, the good man is entitled, I think, to assume that the whole thing is off.
P. G. Wodehouse
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No novelists any good except me. Sovietski -- yah! Nastikoff -- bah! I spit me of zem all. No novelists anywhere any good except me. P. G. Wodehouse and Tolstoi not bad. Not good, but not bad. No novelists any good except me.
P. G. Wodehouse
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A man's subconscious self is not the ideal companion. It lurks for the greater part of his life in some dark den of its own, hidden away, and emerges only to taunt and deride and increase the misery of a miserable hour.
P. G. Wodehouse
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As Shakespeare says, if you're going to do a thing you might as well pop right at it and get it over.
P. G. Wodehouse
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Ice formed on the butler's upper slopes.
P. G. Wodehouse
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Every author really wants to have letters printed in the papers. Unable to make the grade, he drops down a rung of the ladder and writes novels.
P. G. Wodehouse
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When I was a child, I used to think that rabbits were gnomes, and that if I held my breath and stayed quite still, I should see the fairy queen.'. Indicating with a reserved gesture that this was just the sort of loony thing I should have expected her to think as a child, I returned to the point.
P. G. Wodehouse
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He uttered a coarse expression which I wouldn't have thought he would have known. It just shows that you can bury yourself in the country and still somehow acquire a vocabulary. No doubt one picks up things from the neighbours - the vicar, the local doctor, the man who brings the milk, and so on.
P. G. Wodehouse
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A slight throbbing about the temples told me that this discussion had reached saturation point.
P. G. Wodehouse
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I'm bound to say that New York's a topping place to be exiled in. Everybody was awfully good to me, and there seemed to be plenty of things going on, and I'm a wealthy bird, so everything was fine.
P. G. Wodehouse
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My Aunt Dahlia has a carrying voice... If all other sources of income failed, she could make a good living calling the cattle home across the Sands of Dee.
P. G. Wodehouse
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He groaned slightly and winced, like Prometheus watching his vulture dropping in for lunch.
P. G. Wodehouse
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Prismatic is the only word for those frightful tweeds and, oddly enough, the spectacle of them had the effect of steadying my nerves. They gave me the feeling that nothing mattered.
P. G. Wodehouse
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Besides, isn't there something in the book of rules about a man may not marry his cousin? Or am I thinking of grandmothers?
P. G. Wodehouse
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Though never for an instant faltering in my opinion that Augustus Fink-Nottle was Nature's final word in cloth-headed guffins, I liked the man, wished him well.
P. G. Wodehouse
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On the cue 'five aunts' I had given at the knees a trifle, for the thought of being confronted with such a solid gaggle of aunts, even if those of another, was an unnerving one. Reminding myself that in this life it is not aunts that matter, but the courage that one brings to them, I pulled myself together.
P. G. Wodehouse
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While they were content to peck cautiously at the ball, he never spared himself in his efforts to do it a violent injury.
P. G. Wodehouse
