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There is enough sadness in life without having fellows like Gussie Fink-Nottle going about in sea boots.
P. G. Wodehouse
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Flowers are happy things.
P. G. Wodehouse
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Her pupils were at once her salvation and her despair. They gave her the means of supporting life, but they made life hardly worth supporting.
P. G. Wodehouse
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-'What do ties matter, Jeeves, at a time like this?' There is no time, sir, at which ties do not matter
P. G. Wodehouse
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So was victory turned into defeat, and Billy's jaw became squarer and his eye more full of the light of battle than ever.
P. G. Wodehouse
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I just sit at a typewriter and curse a bit.
P. G. Wodehouse
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It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them.
P. G. Wodehouse
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As Shakespeare says, if you're going to do a thing you might as well pop right at it and get it over.
P. G. Wodehouse
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A man's subconscious self is not the ideal companion. It lurks for the greater part of his life in some dark den of its own, hidden away, and emerges only to taunt and deride and increase the misery of a miserable hour.
P. G. Wodehouse
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He uttered a coarse expression which I wouldn't have thought he would have known. It just shows that you can bury yourself in the country and still somehow acquire a vocabulary. No doubt one picks up things from the neighbours - the vicar, the local doctor, the man who brings the milk, and so on.
P. G. Wodehouse
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...I mean to say, when a girl, offered a good man’s heart, laughs like a bursting paper bag and tells him not to be a silly ass, the good man is entitled, I think, to assume that the whole thing is off.
P. G. Wodehouse
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No novelists any good except me. Sovietski -- yah! Nastikoff -- bah! I spit me of zem all. No novelists anywhere any good except me. P. G. Wodehouse and Tolstoi not bad. Not good, but not bad. No novelists any good except me.
P. G. Wodehouse
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I'm bound to say that New York's a topping place to be exiled in. Everybody was awfully good to me, and there seemed to be plenty of things going on, and I'm a wealthy bird, so everything was fine.
P. G. Wodehouse
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Besides, isn't there something in the book of rules about a man may not marry his cousin? Or am I thinking of grandmothers?
P. G. Wodehouse
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A slight throbbing about the temples told me that this discussion had reached saturation point.
P. G. Wodehouse
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As plainly as if it had been the top line on the oculist’s chart I could see what the future held for Bertram.
P. G. Wodehouse
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It was one of the dullest speeches I ever heard. The Agee woman told us for three quarters of an hour how she came to write her beastly book, when a simple apology was all that was required.
P. G. Wodehouse
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While they were content to peck cautiously at the ball, he never spared himself in his efforts to do it a violent injury.
P. G. Wodehouse
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Prismatic is the only word for those frightful tweeds and, oddly enough, the spectacle of them had the effect of steadying my nerves. They gave me the feeling that nothing mattered.
P. G. Wodehouse
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Love has had a lot of press-agenting from the oldest times; but there are higher, nobler things than love.
P. G. Wodehouse
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When I was a child, I used to think that rabbits were gnomes, and that if I held my breath and stayed quite still, I should see the fairy queen.'. Indicating with a reserved gesture that this was just the sort of loony thing I should have expected her to think as a child, I returned to the point.
P. G. Wodehouse
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Though never for an instant faltering in my opinion that Augustus Fink-Nottle was Nature's final word in cloth-headed guffins, I liked the man, wished him well.
P. G. Wodehouse
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Every author really wants to have letters printed in the papers. Unable to make the grade, he drops down a rung of the ladder and writes novels.
P. G. Wodehouse
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As is so often the case with butlers, there was a good deal of Beach. Julius Caesar, who liked to have men about him who were fat, would have taken to him at once. He was a man who had made two chins grow where only one had been before, and his waistcoat swelled like the sail of a racing yacht.
P. G. Wodehouse
