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There came from without the hoof-beats of a galloping relative and Aunt Dahlia whizzed in.
P. G. Wodehouse -
One of the poets, whose name I cannot recall, has a passage, which I am unable at the moment to remember, in one of his works, which for the time being has slipped my mind, which hits off admirably this age-old situation.
P. G. Wodehouse
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And as for Gussie Fink-Nottle, many an experienced undertaker would have been deceived by his appearance and started embalming him on sight.
P. G. Wodehouse -
He enjoys that perfect peace, that peace beyond all understanding, which comes to its maximum only to the man who has given up golf.
P. G. Wodehouse -
...with each new book of mine I have always the feeling that this time I have picked a lemon in the garden of literature.
P. G. Wodehouse -
The light from the big window fell right on the picture. I took a good look at it. Then I shifted a bit nearer and took another look. Then I went back to where I had been at first, because it hadn't seemed quite so bad from there.
P. G. Wodehouse -
From my earliest years I had always wanted to be a writer. It was not that I had any particular message for humanity. I am still plugging away and not the ghost of one so far, so it begins to look as though, unless I suddenly hit mid-season form in my eighties, humanity will remain a message short.
P. G. Wodehouse -
Many a man may look respectable, and yet be able to hide at will behind a spiral staircase.
P. G. Wodehouse
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If there is one thing I dislike, it is the man who tries to air his grievances when I wish to air mine.
P. G. Wodehouse -
It is fatal to let any dog know that he is funny, for he immediately loses his head and starts hamming it up.
P. G. Wodehouse -
Jeeves, you really are a specific dream-rabbit." "Thank you, miss. I am glad to have given satisfaction.
P. G. Wodehouse -
'The fellow with a face rather like a walnut.'
P. G. Wodehouse -
There is about him something that seems to soothe and hypnotize. To the best of my knowledge, he has never encountered a charging rhinoceros, but should this contingency occur, I have no doubt that the animal, meeting his eye, would check itself in mid-stride, roll over and lie purring with its legs in the air.
P. G. Wodehouse -
I don't know if you have ever seen a tiger of the jungle drawing a deep breath preparatory to doing a swan dive and landing with both the feet on the backbone of one of the minor fauna. Probably not, nor, as a matter of fact, have I.
P. G. Wodehouse
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Stiffy was one of those girls who enjoy in equal quantities the gall of an army mule and the calm insouciance of a fish on a slab of ice.
P. G. Wodehouse -
But what is the love life of newts, if you boil it right down? Didn't you tell me once that they just waggled their tails at one another in the mating season?''Quite correct.' I shrugged my shoulders. 'Well all right, if they like it. But it's not my idea of molten passion.
P. G. Wodehouse -
His aspect was that of one who has been looking for the leak in a gas pipe with a lighted candle.
P. G. Wodehouse -
One of the Georges - I forget which - once said that a certain number of hours´ sleep each night - I cannot recall at the moment how many - made a man something which for the time being has slipped my memory.
P. G. Wodehouse -
He felt like a man who, chasing rainbows, has had one of them suddenly turn and bite him in the leg.
P. G. Wodehouse -
I can detach myself from the world. If there is a better world to detach oneself from than the one functioning at the moment I have yet to hear of it.
P. G. Wodehouse
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There's a sort of wooly headed duckiness about you. If I wasn't so crazy about Marmaduke, I could really marry you Bertie.
P. G. Wodehouse -
I was writing a story, 'The Artistic Career of Corky,' about two young men, Bertie Wooster and his friend Corky, getting into a lot of trouble, and neither of them had brains enough to get out of the trouble. I thought: Well, how can I get them out? And I thought: Suppose one of them had an omniscient valet?
P. G. Wodehouse -
As we grow older and realize more clearly the limitations of human happiness, we come to see that the only real and abiding pleasure in life is to give pleasure to other people.
P. G. Wodehouse -
They pointed out that the friendship between the two artists had always been a byword or whatever you called it. A well-read Egg summed it up by saying that they were like Thingummy and what's-his-name.
P. G. Wodehouse