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Only 10 percent of the people in the U.S. like dry wines. You shouldn't get down on people just because they like a little sugar.
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… let's all remember that we have a government 'of the people, for the people, and by the people', and there are very few people in our government that you can't buy.
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I've upped my standards. Now, up yours.
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Assuming either the Left Wing or the Right Wing gained control of the country, it would probably fly around in circles.
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I think I'd make a pretty good president, and they have a great pension plan.
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You have to understand, I can't do any jokes about Ross Perot, because the last thing I need right now is another credit check.
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We have nothing to fear but fear itself... and, of course, the boogieman.
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In America, any boy can grow up to become president. Or, if he never grows up, vice president.
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I am neither left wing nor right wing. I am middle-of-the-bird.
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I admit I do have some drawbacks and limitations as a candidate. Although I am a professional comedian, some of my critics maintain that this is not enough. I cannot deny that I stand before you untested and inexperienced - I only spent two years in television, never as a romantic lead or a song and dance man.
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I've been on the campaign trail so long, some of my wine has turned to vinegar.
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I came down to Orange because I sold the Smothers Brothers a song called 'Chocolate,' and that gave me enough money to move down here. I was washing windows down in Orange County when they called me up and said they wanted me to do their TV show.
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I will not claim I will solve all the world's problems by myself. If I did, I'd have to run as a Republican or a Democrat.
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The Clinton Administration has turned out to be a boon. I knew that he would be wonderful, I just knew it from the beginning. From Arkansas? Shoot.
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Only a cheap politician, greedy for political gain, would try to single out one individual for blame. The fault lies not with the individual but with the system, and that system is Richard Nixon.
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We've got to step up our conservation efforts before it's too late. We're not protecting our lands and natural resources. Take the Grand Canyon for example; I'm sure that at one time it was a beautiful piece of land, and just look at the way we've let it go.
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Will I obliterate national debt? Sure, why not?
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As I've always said: The future lies ahead.
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We must remember that as the centuries go by, time will pass.
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The last few years of my life have been a little like a long ride in a Poop de Ville with the bottom down.
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People come up to me in bars and on street corners and they say to me, 'Hey, Paulsen, have you got any change?'
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I like to pour my wines for people. I watch their eyes, I can see what they'll like. Most people say they don't like dry wine because they haven't had a dry wine that's clean and fruity, instead of a big, oaky thing.
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Many political experts have told me that nobody will vote for me because America is not ready for such decisive and dynamic leadership. They tell me these things, and I say nay to the negative nincompoops who never nourished the nihilistic nerve to name a novice to nail down the nomination.
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Wine is something to enjoy. We get sick and tired of people who pick it apart and talk about its 'saucy nuances.'