Lea DeLaria Quotes
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An anti-abortion conference goer says, 'Well, don't you believe that life begins at inception?' I say, 'No. I believe that life begins when you mind your own fucking business!'
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Oh please...As a standup, I tried to change the world. As an entertainer, I try to entertain. And as a lesbian, I try to pick up the prettiest girl in the room. Not necessarily in that order.
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Learn all the rules... then break them.
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What do you mean, you 'don't believe in homosexuality?' It's not like the Easter Bunny, your belief isn't necessary.
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They are preserving the sanctity of marriage, so that two gay men who've been together for twenty-five years can't get married, but a guy can still get drunk in Vegas and marry a hooker at the Elvis chapel! The sanctity of marriage is saved!
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My idea as far as comedy goes has always been to push the limits of what's acceptable for a woman to do or say or be. My hero in that would be Lenny Bruce, who teaches us that words have no meaning. It's the intent behind them that is what's important.
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Did you read Holly Near's book? Let me save you the trouble. This is the most exciting sentence in the book: ...'I feel like a lesbian when I'm making love to a woman.' Gooooooooood, Holly! Well, the major difference between me and Holly Near is that I feel like a lesbian when I am BREATHING!
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He looked me right in the face and said, 'You fucking bulldyke!' And I thought to myself, 'Oooh, what a smart man! Why, I'll bet he took one look at me and knew I was white, too!'