-
That's the great thing about New Year's, you get to be a year older. For me, that wasn't such a joke, because my birthday was always around this time. When I was a kid, my father used to tell me that everybody was celebrating my birthday. That's what the trees are all about.
-
It's not easy being a father, but I've been allowed a comeback.
-
If you want to read about love and marriage, you've got to buy two separate books.
-
I was a high school throw-out.
-
I don't mind being 65, but nobody is gonna tell me to come in at 5:30 to have the early bird special.
-
When I was a kid, I used to send away for those ventriloquist kits on the back of comic books.
-
My wife is a very attractive woman, and she's always worried about her diet. But she doesn't pay attention to me, and I don't pay attention to her. She's a vegetarian, and it drives me crazy.