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A summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us, we won, let's eat!
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Let's face it: It's difficult enough to be funny without worrying about what is going to offend whom.
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Comedy is an amazing calling. Once you get that first laugh, it's hard to turn away. Then, of course, you're hooked and you have to learn how to survive in the business.
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It's not easy being a father, but I've been allowed a comeback.
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I was a high school throw-out.
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My wife is a very attractive woman, and she's always worried about her diet. But she doesn't pay attention to me, and I don't pay attention to her. She's a vegetarian, and it drives me crazy.
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When I was a kid, I used to send away for those ventriloquist kits on the back of comic books.