Alexander Woollcott Quotes

United States, Critic
January 19, 1887 – January, 23, 1943.

Alexander Humphreys Woollcott (January 19, 1887 – January 23, 1943) was an American critic and commentator for The New Yorker magazine and a member of the Algonquin Round Table.

The two oldest professions in the world - ruined by amateurs.

Alexander Woollcott
- World
Once in pre-war days, when curiously-bonneted women drivers were familiar sights at the taxi-wheels, I cried out to one in my dismay: 'Is there no speed limit in this mad city?''Oh, yes, monsieur,' she answered sweetly over her shoulder, 'but no one has ever succeeded in reaching it.'

Alexander Woollcott
- Women
- She
- War

At 83 Shaw's mind was perhaps not quite as good as it used to be, but it was still better than anyone else's.

Alexander Woollcott
- Good
- Mind
You look like a dishonest Abe Lincoln.

Alexander Woollcott
I've never had the impertinence to be sorry for Helen Keller. I'd as soon be sorry for Niagara Falls. But now as I bring the story up to date, I'm shriveled with shame when I recall that at times in my life - my easy life - I've actually been sorry for myself. You too? We've got our nerve, haven't we?

Alexander Woollcott
- Life
- Up
- Sorry
I have no need of your God-damned sympathy. I only wish to be entertained by some of your grosser reminiscences.

Alexander Woollcott
- God
- Wish
- Sympathy
All the things I really like to do are either illegal, immoral, or fattening.

Alexander Woollcott