Alexandra Petri Quotes
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In general, sincerity is awkward.
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It is possible to assemble a narrative for yourself, brokenly, on social media, only seeing what you want to look at.
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The difference between face-to-face conversation and any other medium of communication is simple: No distractions are permitted.
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When police are shutting down cameras, it is a sign that they know the truth is not going to be kind to them.
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Books are wonderful. They are like people, except they mind less when you put them down and wander off to eat something.
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Woodstock didn't define a generation because everyone showed up or those who did were a perfectly representative sample. It defined a generation because, for a few days, it bottled its peculiar zeitgeist.
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No generation has escaped it - one morning, your skill with the eight-track or the record player or the cotton gin suddenly ceases to impress. It's just one of those inevitable disappointments that come with growing up, like the realization that Santa doesn't exist or the way that music always takes a turn for the worse after you turn 30.
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The problem with technology, as with fashion, is that it's impossible to be 'in' forever.
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Although no one explicitly wants a president who could have a reliable fall back career in stand-up comedy, everyone shudders at the thought of a Rutherford B. Hayes or John Kerry.
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People talk to pass the time, share information, and entertain each other.
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Dull words are what make many bright sentences shine. They do not call attention to themselves.
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Any promising young white man rich enough to theoretically afford a giant oil painting of himself gets to remain young and innocent forever, and none of his actions have any consequences, whether there is magic involved or not.
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While MIT and the University of Chicago duke it out for the title of nerdiest school, James Franco and Renee Zellweger show up at Harvard to party. Somehow, miracle of miracles, Harvard is 'cool.'
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All the young voters who flocked to Obama in droves grew up watching 'The Daily Show' and the 'Colbert Report.'
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Success is like food caught in your teeth: much more noticeable when it happens to other people. If it happens to you, other people have to take you aside and say something.
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No one has debates on Twitter.
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Hi, my name is Alexandra, and I'm a netaholic.
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Millennials give comics the kind of adulation past generations reserved for musicians. We respect Lady Gaga. But we'll travel hundreds of miles to touch the hem of Jon Stewart's robe.
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Bad things happen, and you can only be so prepared.
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Awkward is a state of being.
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If awkward has an antithesis, it is probably Barack Obama.
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Anything you loved, however intensely, becomes mortifying the moment you cease to love it.
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I think, when you're doing a column and blogging every day, you get familiar with the sound of your own voice.
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You do not get gold stars for cleaning your toilet. In actual life, there is a depressing lack of stickers.