Alexandra Petri Quotes
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Success is like food caught in your teeth: much more noticeable when it happens to other people. If it happens to you, other people have to take you aside and say something.
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All the weird inconveniences of adult life that you thought they made up to lend excitement and color to episodes of 'Sex and the City' are, in fact, real.
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People feel compelled to continue reading and hearing the news. Sometimes, you just want somebody to be yelling at it with you as you're reading it. I think of that as my function.
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It is possible to assemble a narrative for yourself, brokenly, on social media, only seeing what you want to look at.
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While MIT and the University of Chicago duke it out for the title of nerdiest school, James Franco and Renee Zellweger show up at Harvard to party. Somehow, miracle of miracles, Harvard is 'cool.'
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Dull words are what make many bright sentences shine. They do not call attention to themselves.
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Woodstock didn't define a generation because everyone showed up or those who did were a perfectly representative sample. It defined a generation because, for a few days, it bottled its peculiar zeitgeist.
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Although no one explicitly wants a president who could have a reliable fall back career in stand-up comedy, everyone shudders at the thought of a Rutherford B. Hayes or John Kerry.
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Any promising young white man rich enough to theoretically afford a giant oil painting of himself gets to remain young and innocent forever, and none of his actions have any consequences, whether there is magic involved or not.
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The difference between face-to-face conversation and any other medium of communication is simple: No distractions are permitted.
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People talk to pass the time, share information, and entertain each other.
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President Obama deserves our unalloyed praise for hastening Osama bin Laden's demise.
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In general, sincerity is awkward.
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It's easier to find the joke in something when you think, 'This - this is ridiculous.'
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The problem with technology, as with fashion, is that it's impossible to be 'in' forever.
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Hi, my name is Alexandra, and I'm a netaholic.
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No one has debates on Twitter.
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If awkward has an antithesis, it is probably Barack Obama.
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Bad things happen, and you can only be so prepared.
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Millennials give comics the kind of adulation past generations reserved for musicians. We respect Lady Gaga. But we'll travel hundreds of miles to touch the hem of Jon Stewart's robe.
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Anything you loved, however intensely, becomes mortifying the moment you cease to love it.
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Awkward is a state of being.
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I think, when you're doing a column and blogging every day, you get familiar with the sound of your own voice.
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Almost nothing anyone told me about Harvard has been accurate.