Lisa Lampanelli Quotes
I wasn't ready to be a dog's mother! Trust me, I'm completely unfit and irresponsible. I'm a comic that travels 48 weeks a year, but I make it work, so you can, too.

Quotes to Explore
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Often I look back and see that I had been many kinds of a fool-and that I had been happy in being this or that kind of fool.
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I'm here today because I hated everything else.
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The Constitution in all its provisions looks to an indestructible union disposed of indestructible States.
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I know you can be up one minute and drop the next, so I'm trying to maintain a steady course so I can have some longevity.
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Television offered me the opportunity to do new things; I had written a lot of scripts other than scary movies. I had actually written some romantic comedies and stuff that I really wanted to try my hand at, and nobody would let me do that. Television allowed me to do anything I wanted.
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I've always been about how will digital be transforming established businesses, and that's what I've done.
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I'm not courting labor. I come from a labor background. To me, it's just intuitive.
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The divine wisdom which requires a division of labor has sown different abilities and tendencies in human nature and has enabled human beings to carry out the duty of establishing sciences and developing technology. The fulfillment of this duty is obligatory upon humanity as a whole, though not on every individual.
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Certain it is that their power increased always in an exact proportion to the weakness of the Caliphate, and, without doubt, in some of the most distracted periods of the Arabian rule, the Hebrew Princes rose into some degree of local and temporary importance.
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The enchanting charms of this sublime science reveal only to those who have the courage to go deeply into it.
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Elegance is very dangerous. It's like TNT. A little goes a long way.
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It kills me to lose. If I'm a troublemaker, and I don't think that my temper makes me one, then it's because I can't stand losing. That's the way I am about winning, all I ever wanted to do was finish first.
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Singing and dancing is not just for the cast of 'Glee'. We can wake up doing both and have it be a natural expression of who we are.
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In the country the darkness of night is friendly and familiar, but in a city, with its blaze of lights, it is unnatural, hostile and menacing. It is like a monstrous vulture that hovers, biding its time.
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I've had loss in my life, and I like to think my mother's energy lives on in some faintly Buddhist way. I do find some comfort there.
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On my tombstone just write, 'The sorest loser that ever lived.'
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High-stakes lying is out of control. And it's costing us big bucks in one way or another. It's not simply a matter of quantifying losses in dollars. It's costing us emotionally and psychologically as well.
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Hard work has made it easy. That is my secret. That is why I win.
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Truthfully, I've never seen myself as being too thin. Sometimes I'll look at photos and be like, 'Oh, that's not a good look.' But generally speaking, I'm not too thin.
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I've never lost my capacity to be shocked.
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I've been through it all, baby, I'm mother courage.
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Up until the end of the Bush Administration, there was indifference to the North Korean suffering under Kim Jong-Il.
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The advance guard in the campaign for peace that America wages today must be the State Department.
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I wasn't ready to be a dog's mother! Trust me, I'm completely unfit and irresponsible. I'm a comic that travels 48 weeks a year, but I make it work, so you can, too.