Amy Schumer Quotes

I can't hide my feelings. I'm efficient. I've always been that way.

Amy Schumer

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• Bald is the new black!

  

  Gail Porter
  • Black
  • New
  • Bald

• We are shallow because we have become enslaved by gross materialism, the glitter of gold and its equivalents, for which reason we think that only the material goods of this earth can satisfy us and we must therefore grab as much as can while we are able.

  

  F. Sionil Jose
  • Think
  • Earth
  • Gold

• One thing I've learned now is that I should not say when a book is coming out until I'm sure I know.

  

  Patrick Rothfuss
  • Book
  • Know
  • Now

• The successful man will profit from his mistakes and try again in a different way.

  

  Dale Carnegie
  • Different
  • Success
  • Man

• Medicine, you have to take it. A vitamin is nice to have, but honestly, you can skip it.

  

  Paige Craig
  • You
  • Nice
  • Medicine

• Also, I use facial masks diligently. I use at least two a day - one for moisturizing and one for whitening. I think I go through at least 600 sheets of facial masks every year.

  

  Fan Bingbing
  • Think
  • Day
  • Year

• Wherever there's an all-encompassing 'always,' 'all' or 'never' in your life, it's a sign that your mischievous subconscious is setting you up for failure by consistently leading you back toward these repeat performances.

  

  Karen Salmansohn
  • Life
  • Up
  • You

• If I was the type of person who had tennis, tennis, tennis all the time and I went to bed and ended up dreaming about tennis, I would go nuts.

  

  Marat Safin
  • Up
  • Time
  • Tennis

• I'd like to write the way Matisse paints.

  

  A. S. Byatt
  • Way
  • Like
  • Write

• Nowadays, I know the true reason I read is to feel less alone, to make a connection with a consciousness other than my own.

  

  Zadie Smith
  • True
  • Know
  • Alone

• I love food: biscuits and gravy, cheese grits, spaghetti and meatballs, chicken-fried steak with white gravy... but my favorite dish is my wife's beanie weenie cornbread casserole. It's so good. It sounds stupid, but if you eat it, it's heaven. Of course, it's only something you can eat if you've got a lot of money.

  

  Larry the Cable Guy
  • Good
  • Money
  • Food

• I honestly don't even know how I got into acting. It happened so quickly because my mom and sister used to do commercials, and apparently when I was little I would unbuckle myself from the stroller and crash their auditions.

  

  Bailee Madison
  • Mom
  • Myself
  • Sister

• I often use the word 'magical' to talk about what it feels like on set.

  

  Gaby Hoffmann
  • Like
  • Talk
  • Magical

• Poetry comes from the highest happiness or the deepest sorrow.

  

  A. P. J. Abdul Kalam
  • Poetry
  • Happiness
  • Sorrow

• Hamm: What's he doing?(CLOV raises lid of NAGG's bin, stoops, looks into it. Pause.)Clov: He's crying.(He closes lid, straightens up)Hamm: Then he's living.

  

  Samuel Beckett
  • Up
  • Crying

• Estoy solo entre materias desvencijadas,la lluvia cae sobre mí, y se me parece,se me parece con su desvarío,solitaria en el mundo muerto,rechazada al caer, y sin forma obstinada.

  

  Pablo Neruda

• DIRECTIONS FOR USING: For THINKING:-Wind the Clockwork Man under his left arm, (marked No. 1). For SPEAKING:-Wind the Clockwork Man under his right arm, (marked No. 2). For WALKING and ACTION:-Wind Clockwork Man in the middle of his back, (marked No. 3). N. B.-This Mechanism is guaranteed to work perfectly for a thousand years.

  

  L. Frank Baum
  • Work
  • Thinking
  • Action

• When I was 13, I remember crying on my mum's shoulder when my first girlfriend dumped me via MSN Messenger. That was cold.

  

  Conor Maynard
  • Remember
  • Cold
  • Girlfriend

• But it feels good to love a thing and not expect anything back. It feels good to not get an argument or any pushiness or any rumors or any bullshit. It's love without strings. It's ideal.

  

  Amy Sarig King
  • Good
  • Rumors

• Might it not be that a great force that has always been thinking in terms of human needs, and that always will think in terms of human needs, has not been mobilized? Is it not possible that the women of the country have something of value to give the nation at this time?

  

  Jeannette Rankin
  • Time
  • Great
  • Thinking

• Right, well I am, I was a career diplomat for 37 years from 1960 until 1997 during the early 1980s from 1981 to 1985 I was the United States Ambassador to Honduras.

  

  John Negroponte
  • Career

• I can't hide my feelings. I'm efficient. I've always been that way.

  

  Amy Schumer