A. P. Herbert Quotes
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The Englishman never enjoys himself except for a noble purpose.
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The critical period of matrimony is breakfast-time.
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Let's stop somebody from doing something!Everybody does too much.
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This high official, all allow, is grossly overpaid; there wasn't any Board, and now there isn't any Trade.
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An Englishman never enjoys himself, except for a noble purpose.
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I am sure that the party system is right and necessary. There must be some scum.
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The concept of two people living together for 25 years without a serious dispute suggests a lack of spirit only to be admired in sheep.
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A high-brow is someone who looks at a sausage and thinks of Picasso.
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People must not do things for fun. We are not here for fun. There is no reference to fun in any Act of Parliament.
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It is like the thirteenth stroke of a crazy clock, which not only is itself discredited but casts a shade of doubt over all previous assertions.
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It cannot be too clearly understood that this is not a free country, and it will be an evil day for the legal profession when it is.
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The portions of a woman which appeal to man's depravityAre constructed with considerable care.
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Don't let's go to the dogs tonight,For mother will be there.
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Bus driver, bus driver, the sirens have gone,The bombs may come down, but the buses go on;Bus driver, I know you won't think me a snobIf I whisper: 'Bus driver, I don't want your job'.
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There's alcohol in plant and tree.It must be Nature's planThat there should be in fair degreeSome alcohol in Man.
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A man who has made up his mind on a given subject twenty-five years ago and continues to hold his political opinions after he has been proved to be wrong is a man of principle; while he who from time to time adapts his opinions to the changing circumstances of life is an opportunist.
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As my poor father used to sayIn 1863,Once people start on all this ArtGoodbye, moralitee!
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Nobody's wrong but England – and England's always wrong,Too late – or else too early – too soft – or else too strong.And when for once the wide world begins to praise her nameHer own sons crowd and hurry to shout her back to shame.
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The whole Constitution has been erected upon the assumption that the King not only is capable of doing wrong but is more likely to do wrong than other men if he is given the chance.
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For I must write to The Times tonight, and save the world from sin.
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Justice should be cheap but judges expensive.
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The Farmer will never be happy again;He carries his heart in his boots;For either the rain is destroying his grainOr the drought is destroying his roots.
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Citizens who take it upon themselves to do unusual actions which attract the attention of the police should be careful to bring these actions into one of the recognized categories of crimes and offences, for it is intolerable that the police should be put to the pains of inventing reasons for finding them undesirable.
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How proud upon your quarterdeck you stand,Conductor, Captain of the mighty bus!Like some Columbus you survey the Strand,A calm newcomer in a sea of fuss.