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All of the troubles that some people have in life is that which they married into.
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Instead of loving your enemies - treat your friends a little better.
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When half the people believe one thing, and the other half another, it is usually safe to accept either opinion. The Democrats are as good as the Republicans, and the Catholics as good as the Protestants.
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The experience of the world is worth more than the experience of any one man.
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Having fun is a dismal business after you pass fifty.
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Every successful person I have heard of has done the best he could with the conditions as he found them, and not waited until next year for better.
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A man needs a friend not to flatter him, but to strengthen him at his weak points.
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A religion that never suffices to govern a man will never suffice to save him; that which does not sufficiently distinguish one from a wicked world will never distinguish him from a perishing world.
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We are now confronted with the necessity of remedying the remedies.
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A loafer never works except when there's a fire; then he will carry out more furniture than anybody.
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A woman does not spend all her time in buying things; she spends part of it in taking them back.
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Living up to ideals is like doing everyday work with your Sunday clothes on.
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There is usually enough of everything on the table except cream.
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Marriage is a good deal like a circus: there is not as much in it as is represented in the advertising.
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The trouble in the world is nearly all due to the fact that one-half of the people are men, and the other half women.
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Raising children is like making biscuits: it is as easy to raise a big batch as one, while you have your hands in the dough.
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A small man always has one weapon he can use against a great big man: he can 'talk' about him.
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Silliness which would have broken a politician twenty years ago, now makes his fortune.
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If there were no schools to take the children away from home part of the time, the insane asylums would be filled with mothers.
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A man who does not fool himself seldom cares much about fooling others. But the man who claims to have seen a ghost wants everybody else to believe in ghosts.
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However disagreeable a situation is to you, you cannot get rid of it by indignation.
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Every man has a long list of things that should be done, but which he knows can't be done. Yet he continues to talk about them as long as he lives.
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I have long been disposed to judge men by their average. If it is reasonably high, I am charitable with faults that look pretty black.
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Every time you become confidential with some people, you hear of a new kind of dirty trick.