E. W. Howe Quotes
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When you hear that a certain man is so good that he wants to help everybody, you may depend upon it that he started the story.
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To want your own way is a very bad habit, for you will never get it.
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As a rule, you'll not have much trouble having your way, if you are right.
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Faith may have removed mountains way off somewhere, a long time ago, but it won't remove a wart at home this week.
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People hate the man who is a constant drain on their sympathy.
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Express a mean opinion of yourself occasionally; it will show your friends that you know how to tell the truth.
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In thousands of years there has been no advance in public morals, in philosophy, in religion or in politics, but the advance in business has been the greatest miracle the world has ever known.
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When you can't do anything else to a boy, you can make him wash his face.
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Of living creatures, business men are nearest sane; their philosophy is as accurate as their multiplication table.
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Automobiles are like people: the cheap ones are noisy.
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We are not free, it was not intended we should be. A book of rules is placed in our cradle, and we never get rid of it until we reach our graves. Then we are free, and only then.
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If you have sense enough to realize why flies gather around a restaurant, you should be able to appreciate why men run for office.
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Honesty is largely a matter of information, of knowing that dishonesty is a mistake. Principle is not as powerful in keeping people straight as a policeman.
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Somehow, everyone hates to see an unusually pretty girl get married. It is like taking a bite out of a very fine-looking peach.
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Don't take up a man's time talking about the smartness of your children; he wants to talk to you about the smartness of his children.
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Love affairs have always greatly interested me, but I do not greatly care for them in books or moving pictures. In a love affair, I wish to be the hero, with no audience present.
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Men are a good deal better collectively than they are individually. Many a man will do that privately which he will denounce in a crowd.
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I try to have no plans the failure of which would greatly annoy me. Half the unhappiness in the world is due to the failure of plans which were never reasonable, and often impossible.
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At first a woman doesn't want anything but a husband, but as soon as gets one, she wants everything else in the world.
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I declare my belief that it is not your duty to do anything that is not to your own interest. Whenever it is unquestionably your duty to do a thing, then it will benefit you to perform that duty.
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There is something in the red of a raspberry pie that looks as good to a man as the red in a sheep looks to a wolf.
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The government is mainly an expensive organization to regulate evildoers, and tax those who behave: government does little for fairly respectable people except annoy them.
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It is your enemies who keep you straight. For real use one active, sneering enemy is worth two ordinary friends.
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I express many absurd opinions. But I am not the first man to do it; American freedom consists largely in talking nonsense.