E. W. Howe Quotes
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Every man has a long list of things that should be done, but which he knows can't be done. Yet he continues to talk about them as long as he lives.
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When you hear that a certain man is so good that he wants to help everybody, you may depend upon it that he started the story.
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I have long been disposed to judge men by their average. If it is reasonably high, I am charitable with faults that look pretty black.
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Every time you become confidential with some people, you hear of a new kind of dirty trick.
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To want your own way is a very bad habit, for you will never get it.
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People hate the man who is a constant drain on their sympathy.
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In thousands of years there has been no advance in public morals, in philosophy, in religion or in politics, but the advance in business has been the greatest miracle the world has ever known.
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Faith may have removed mountains way off somewhere, a long time ago, but it won't remove a wart at home this week.
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Express a mean opinion of yourself occasionally; it will show your friends that you know how to tell the truth.
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Love affairs have always greatly interested me, but I do not greatly care for them in books or moving pictures. In a love affair, I wish to be the hero, with no audience present.
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Automobiles are like people: the cheap ones are noisy.
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Don't take up a man's time talking about the smartness of your children; he wants to talk to you about the smartness of his children.
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Honesty is largely a matter of information, of knowing that dishonesty is a mistake. Principle is not as powerful in keeping people straight as a policeman.
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If you have sense enough to realize why flies gather around a restaurant, you should be able to appreciate why men run for office.
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At first a woman doesn't want anything but a husband, but as soon as gets one, she wants everything else in the world.
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Of living creatures, business men are nearest sane; their philosophy is as accurate as their multiplication table.
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Men are a good deal better collectively than they are individually. Many a man will do that privately which he will denounce in a crowd.
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A women could never be President. A condidate must be over 35, and where are you going to find a woman who will admit she's over 35?
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One trouble with growing old is that it gets progressively tougher to find a famous historical figure, who didn't amount to much when he was your age.
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Somehow, everyone hates to see an unusually pretty girl get married. It is like taking a bite out of a very fine-looking peach.
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The government is mainly an expensive organization to regulate evildoers, and tax those who behave: government does little for fairly respectable people except annoy them.
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What is common sense? That which attracts the least opposition that which brings most agreeable and worthy results.
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We must be truthful and fair in the ordinary affairs of life before we can be truthful and fair in patriotism and religion.
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People never have confidence in a Big Talker. They know his statements must be cut down, but they can never tell how much.