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Faith may have removed mountains way off somewhere, a long time ago, but it won't remove a wart at home this week.
E. W. Howe -
Of living creatures, business men are nearest sane; their philosophy is as accurate as their multiplication table.
E. W. Howe
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When I get hold of a book I particularly admire, I am so enthusiastic that I loan it to someone who never brings it back.
E. W. Howe -
In thousands of years there has been no advance in public morals, in philosophy, in religion or in politics, but the advance in business has been the greatest miracle the world has ever known.
E. W. Howe -
Express a mean opinion of yourself occasionally; it will show your friends that you know how to tell the truth.
E. W. Howe -
Automobiles are like people: the cheap ones are noisy.
E. W. Howe -
When you can't do anything else to a boy, you can make him wash his face.
E. W. Howe -
There must be some good in the cocktail party to account for its immense vogue among otherwise sane people.
E. W. Howe
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Raising children is like making biscuits: it is as easy to raise a big batch as one, while you have your hands in the dough.
E. W. Howe -
A religion that never suffices to govern a man will never suffice to save him; that which does not sufficiently distinguish one from a wicked world will never distinguish him from a perishing world.
E. W. Howe -
We are not free, it was not intended we should be. A book of rules is placed in our cradle, and we never get rid of it until we reach our graves. Then we are free, and only then.
E. W. Howe -
Somehow, everyone hates to see an unusually pretty girl get married. It is like taking a bite out of a very fine-looking peach.
E. W. Howe -
Men are a good deal better collectively than they are individually. Many a man will do that privately which he will denounce in a crowd.
E. W. Howe -
There is something in the red of a raspberry pie that looks as good to a man as the red in a sheep looks to a wolf.
E. W. Howe
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I express many absurd opinions. But I am not the first man to do it; American freedom consists largely in talking nonsense.
E. W. Howe -
If you have sense enough to realize why flies gather around a restaurant, you should be able to appreciate why men run for office.
E. W. Howe -
The government is mainly an expensive organization to regulate evildoers, and tax those who behave: government does little for fairly respectable people except annoy them.
E. W. Howe -
Don't take up a man's time talking about the smartness of your children; he wants to talk to you about the smartness of his children.
E. W. Howe -
Love affairs have always greatly interested me, but I do not greatly care for them in books or moving pictures. In a love affair, I wish to be the hero, with no audience present.
E. W. Howe -
At first a woman doesn't want anything but a husband, but as soon as gets one, she wants everything else in the world.
E. W. Howe
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Honesty is largely a matter of information, of knowing that dishonesty is a mistake. Principle is not as powerful in keeping people straight as a policeman.
E. W. Howe -
A women could never be President. A condidate must be over 35, and where are you going to find a woman who will admit she's over 35?
E. W. Howe -
I try to have no plans the failure of which would greatly annoy me. Half the unhappiness in the world is due to the failure of plans which were never reasonable, and often impossible.
E. W. Howe -
How good we all are, in theory, to the old; and how in fact we wish them to wander off like old dogs, die without bothering us, and bury themselves.
E. W. Howe