Anthony Jeselnik Quotes

On Twitter, when someone would die, I would write a joke. Or if there's a tragedy, I would write a joke and tweet it. That was my thing, and then at a certain point, people started demanding it.

Anthony Jeselnik

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Quotes to Explore

• After 2012, all of the Washington political consultants and all the mainstream media came to Republicans and said, 'You've got to do better with Hispanics, and the way to do better with Hispanics is to embrace amnesty.' And, look, a lot of Republicans in Washington were scared.

  

  Ted Cruz
  • Political
  • Better
  • Media

• I don't know if I would say that I'm specifically a history buff. I do find a lot of things fascinating, especially anything that's bizarre or mysterious and unknown and we don't have all the answers for.

  

  Oren Peli
  • History
  • Know
  • Find

• What I love about the sci-fi community is that it's the most nonjudgmental, inclusive, diverse environment in the country. There's no group of people that is more diverse and inclusive.

  

  J. August Richards
  • People
  • Country
  • Love

• The discovery of deuterium and the marked differences in the physical and chemical properties of hydrogen and deuterium, together with an efficient method for the separation of these isotopes, have opened an interesting field of research in several of the major branches of science.

  

  Harold Urey
  • Together
  • Science
  • Interesting

• My dad is a Chatty Cathy, the social butterfly; friendly; knows everybody in the whole world by six degrees; tells me that every performance is the greatest he's ever seen, every new outfit is the coolest. Constant cheerleader.

  

  Taylor Swift
  • World
  • Dad
  • Friendly

• It excites me to go to a movie and be reminded that I'm human, and I'm filled with opposites, and I'm built with flaws. Part of growth and healing is recognizing that.

  

  Laura Dern
  • Movie
  • Me
  • Growth

• There's always room to volunteer. I think that's a huge space to be involved with.

  

  Halima Aden
  • Think
  • Space
  • Volunteer

• Starting out, they told me: 'You're a good-looking guy. We'll put you in this role, and you can be a conduit for the audience into this side of the story.' But I've grown up, and that's not what I want anymore. My concept of the job I do has evolved. And it is a job, nothing more.

  

  Sam Worthington
  • Up
  • Good
  • Job

• With all of their benefits, and there are many, one of the things I regret about e-books is that they have taken away the necessity of trawling foreign bookshops or the shelves of holiday houses to find something to read. I've come across gems and stinkers that way, and both can be fun.

  

  Joanne Rowling
  • Fun
  • Taken
  • Regret

• I like writers who seem to write because they have to. You get the feeling of this burning desire to tell a story. I find it in Peter Carey, Nicola Barker, Ali Smith and David Foster Wallace.

  

  Patrick Ness
  • Feeling
  • Desire
  • Write

• I have reached the conclusion that those who have physical courage also have moral courage. Physical courage is a great test.

  

  Oriana Fallaci
  • Great
  • Moral
  • Courage

• It's an unfortunate reality of life that toxins are constantly building up in our bodies.

  

  Mallory Ortberg
  • Life
  • Up
  • Reality

• My room is like an antique shop, full of junk, and weird stuff. There's a big sword in there. And a taxidermy bird, and a couple of birdcages. And a lot of newspaper cuttings. I used to have a weird thing about cutting out morbid headlines from newspapers, and collecting them. I was fascinated with drowning, which is kind of strange.

  

  Florence Welch Florence and the Machine
  • Couple
  • Weird
  • Cutting

• We create success or failure on the course primarily by our thoughts.

  

  Gary Player
  • Success
  • Failure
  • Thoughts

• The power of the ballot we need in sheer defense, else what shall save us from a second slavery?

  

  W. E. B. Du Bois
  • Power
  • Need
  • Slavery

• So many people love sci-fi, and they're so loyal.

  

  Aaron Ashmore
  • People
  • Many
  • Loyal

• I was shocked when I heard that Farghadani had been sentenced to 12 years and nine months in prison on spurious charges, as Amnesty International notes, of 'spreading propaganda against the system,' 'insulting members of the parliament through paintings' and 'insulting the Supreme Leader' with her cartoon.

  

  Nazanin Boniadi
  • Leader
  • Prison
  • Propaganda

• I've fallen in love in my life a few times. It's the most exciting part of being alive - that I've experienced, anyway.

  

  Patrick deWitt
  • Life
  • Experienced
  • Fallen

• My specialty was baked potatoes with cheese melted over broccoli. I was also very good at melting cheese on bread.

  

  Rachel Sklar
  • Good
  • Bread
  • Cheese

• We may be surprised at the people we find in heaven. God has a soft spot for sinners. His standards are quite low.

  

  Desmond Tutu
  • People
  • God
  • May

• Instead of sailing off into the sunset, he hopes to sail into the next century.

  

  Dave Anderson
  • Sunset
  • Sailing

• Votes should be weighed not counted.

  

  Friedrich Schiller
  • Weight
  • Count
  • Votes

• I love U.K. festivals because people go to watch as many bands as possible. They aren't just there to see their favourites; they'll be there all day long.

  

  Chris Jericho
  • People
  • Long

• On Twitter, when someone would die, I would write a joke. Or if there's a tragedy, I would write a joke and tweet it. That was my thing, and then at a certain point, people started demanding it.

  

  Anthony Jeselnik
  • People
  • Die