Joan Rivers Quotes

It's been so long since I made love, I can't even remember who gets tied up.

Joan Rivers

• Up
• Long
• Remember

• Previous
• Next

Quotes to Explore

• What novels do that biographies don't is get at truths by penetrating the facts, by going deeper to what's underneath fact, through invention.

  

  Varley O'Connor
  • Facts
  • Fact
  • Deeper

• I distrust Great Men. They produce a desert of uniformity around them and often a pool of blood too, and I always feel a little man's pleasure when they come a cropper.

  

  E. M. Forster
  • Great
  • Men
  • Man

• I've done nothing but show up and fight, go to work inside the Octagon, outside the Octagon, and do things right. But people want to talk about me and discredit me.

  

  Daniel Cormier
  • People
  • Up
  • Work

• Thomas Friedman's 'The World is Flat' sold more copies in India than in the U.K. The market for go-getting business books or wonkish tomes by corporate moguls posing as philosopher kings has grown dramatically in modernising China and India.

  

  Pankaj Mishra
  • World
  • Business
  • Kings

• Rick Santorum has so much potential and so much eagerness to serve our country.

  

  Foster Friess
  • Country
  • Potential
  • Serve

• My dad's a doctor, and when I was 8, I went to one of his medical conferences where they were demonstrating laser surgery on a chicken. I was so mad that a chicken had to die, I never ate meat again.

  

  Natalie Portman
  • Dad
  • Die
  • Mad

• A lot of people will call me nuts or crazy, but I've always been pretty stable. By some people's standards, I might be crazy. But I realize that I'm not going to harm anyone, and the only place that I live is within my own universe, really - so it's O.K.

  

  Rachel Miner
  • People
  • Live
  • Pretty

• The words of truth are always paradoxical.

  

  Lao Tzu
  • Truth
  • Words
  • Always

• I never really address myself to any image anybody has of me. That's like fighting with ghosts.

  

  Sally Field
  • Me
  • Myself
  • Fighting

• In 15 years we'll have all the sequence, a list of the genes everyone has in common and those that differ among people. We know only something like a tenth of 1 percent of the sequence at the moment.

  

  Walter Gilbert
  • People
  • Know
  • Moment

• Poverty is an anomaly to rich people; it is very difficult to make out why people who want dinner do not ring the bell.

  

  Walter Bagehot
  • People
  • Why
  • Poverty

• In Hollywood they're getting younger, but believe me, it's not the food. It's the plastic surgery.

  

  S. Jay Olshansky
  • Believe
  • Me
  • Food

• Who am I? Not the body, because it is decaying; not the mind, because the brain will decay with the body; not the personality, nor the emotions, for these also will vanish with death.

  

  Ramana Maharshi
  • Mind
  • Death
  • Brain

• Old people are scary. And I have to face it. I am old and I am scary.

  

  Maggie Smith
  • People
  • Scary
  • Old

• As an actor, you always think that whatever job you have is going to be your last. In some way, shape or form, you think you're going to screw it up and you're never going to work again.

  

  Ian Somerhalder
  • Up
  • Work
  • Job

• If I'm still walking, I am not dead. So I have to still walk and run towards the benefit of Lebanon.

  

  Najib Mikati
  • Walking
  • Dead
  • Benefit

• Who cares about the clouds when we're together? Just sing a song and bring the sunny weather.

  

  Dale Evans
  • Together
  • Song
  • Relationship

• 'FlashForward' was a really fun show to make. Not to mention, I only worked, like, one day a week, and it paid the same as 'Happy Endings.' I got to make out with beautiful women on that show as well.

  

  Zachary Knighton
  • Women
  • Happy
  • Fun

• I will never fall prey to celebrity because I am too busy. I have other things to do than look at myself in the mirror.

  

  Philippe Petit
  • Fall
  • Mirror
  • Celebrity

• The worst thing about being on the road is all you want to do when you get home is to stay home, but as soon as you get back, all the wife wants to do is go out because she's been stuck home all the time you've been stuck on the road.

  

  Earl Weaver
  • Time
  • Home
  • She

• I had spent so many years on 'Law & Order: UK' being a downtrodden detective standing on Hammersmith Bridge at six o'clock in the morning, being rained and snowed on, and I thought, 'I'll have a bit of a change of direction in my career and go and do 'SunTrap' in Gran Canaria.'

  

  Bradley Walsh
  • Career
  • Law
  • Morning

• Marge, you being a cop makes you the man! Which makes me the woman - and I have no interest in that, besides occasionally wearing the underwear, which as we discussed, is strictly a comfort thing.

  

  Dan Castellaneta
  • Woman
  • Cop
  • Discussed

• Here, I think, lies our real dilemma. Probably we cannot, certainly we shall not, retrace our steps. We are tamed animals (some with kind, some with cruel, masters) and should probably starve if we got out of our cage. That is one horn of the dilemma. But in an increasingly planned society, how much of what I value can survive? That is the other horn.

  

  C. S. Lewis
  • Real
  • Society
  • Value

• It's been so long since I made love, I can't even remember who gets tied up.

  

  Joan Rivers
  • Up
  • Long
  • Remember