Chuck Klosterman Quotes
If invited, you would go to this person's wedding and give them a spice rack, but you would secretly hope that their marriage ends in a bitter, public divorce.

Quotes to Explore
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Don't go into any store that features shopping bags that can stand on their own accord in the middle of a table. This sort of shopping bag denotes prices that will start chipping into your children's college education fund. Avoid it.
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Alan Rickman's Hans Gruber is the greatest bad guy in a movie ever.
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My father insisted that I and my sisters not be indoctrinated into any religion at any age.
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A lot of the time I'm working with people who are older than me.
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I didn't have a long-term plan or goal. If there would have been a road map showing me the way to my dreams becoming reality, I might have given it a second thought.
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I work eight hours a day, but I'm not writing all that time. I'm thinking, editing, looking something up. Thinking is what I do a lot of.
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I'm a chubby middle-aged white guy with short hair. I think that's it, really. I kind of have a look. Right now, I'm not fat enough to be the fat friend, but I'm not thin enough to be the leading man, so I look like a cop.
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Because when you feel that you have arrived, you are dead.
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Can a moment of madness make up for an age of consent?
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My mom and stepdad were strict. I couldn't date; I couldn't go out. And I was a kid who was never good at just taking no for an answer. I needed to understand why. And sometimes they weren't interested in explaining.
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Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Kuwait.
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I believe the collapse of the House of Windsor is tied in with the collapse of the Church of England.
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On the Day of Atonement, Jews are commanded to seek forgiveness from the people we have hurt.
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A play should give you something to think about. When I see a play and understand it the first time, then I know it can't be much good.
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Make no mistake: the anti-war voices long for us to lose any war they cannot prevent.
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We are effectively destroying ourselves by violence masquerading as love.
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A lot of my writer friends - some of whom are brilliant - work when the Muse calls them, for lack of a better description. You know, days of nothing, then this creative burst where they write for 36 hours straight fueled by caffeine and idealism.
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Your plays are always personal. You can't help seeing yourself in the serial killer you've just written. But they get less specifically personal.
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Well, I motorcycle, I hunt, fish, I do all that. I keep busy. I'm never bored. I've never been bored.
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I can't imagine myself not working. And I hope my daughter will work when she's older.
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Scion of chiefs and monarchs, where art thou? Fond hope of many nations, art thou dead? Could not the grave forget thee, and lay low Some less majestic, less beloved head?
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If invited, you would go to this person's wedding and give them a spice rack, but you would secretly hope that their marriage ends in a bitter, public divorce.