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Bubbles! Oh come on Sharon! I'm fucking Ozzy Osbourne, the Prince of fucking Darkness. Evil! Evil! What's fucking evil about a buttload of fucking bubbles!?
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after one of his dogs urinated in the bedroom Who pissed!!? Who pissed on my fucking carpet!?! That bastard fucking dog man. I'm going to throw you in the pool! Get the fuck out of my house! Why do they do it Sharon? Whats the deal man? It's a fucking terrorist man! It's fucking part of Bin Laden's gang! Fucking Ali Baba used to go work on this rug.
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I'm dyslexic, I have attention-deficit disorder, and I've got something like a hereditary tremor.
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Being sober on a bus is, like, totally different than being drunk on a bus.
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I cannot turn down this incredible honor twice.
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If you want to be --ing individual, don’t get a tattoo. Every --er’s got one these days.
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How the fuck you feed a tree?...What...you put a ham sandwich on the tree?
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You don't need to hire a dog therapist, you just need to wake up at 7 am and open the fucking door!
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To be a liar, you've got to have a great memory, and I don't have a memory.
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It's all part of my journey - I've done a lot of stupid things, but you learn by your mistakes.
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I am a raging alcoholic and a raging addict and I didn't want to see my kids do the same thing.
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Nobody ever told me, I found out for myself, You gotta believe in foolish miracles, it's not how you play the game, it's if you win or lose, you can choose, don't confuse, win or lose.
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With marriage, you've just got to stick it out. You can't jump off the boat at the first bump in the waves.
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I don't know if I'm a medium for some outside source. Whatever it is, frankly, I hope it's not what I think … Satan.
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Weather in Afghanistan, 2000 degrees and cloudy. What the fuck am I doing? I'm stuck on the weather channel. AHHH!
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I used to fantasize that Paul McCartney would marry my sister.
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Somebody said to me this morning, 'To what do you attribute your longevity?' I don't know. I mean, I couldn't have planned my life out better. By all accounts I should be dead! The abuse I put my body through: the drugs, the alcohol, the lifestyle I've lived the last 30 years!
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All that stuff about heavy metal and hard rock, I don't subscribe to any of that. It's all just music. I mean, the heavy metal from the Seventies sounds nothing like the stuff from the Eighties, and that sounds nothing like the stuff from the Nineties. Who's to say what is and isn't a certain type of music?
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I like the smell of armpits in the morning. It's like victory.
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L.A.'s not a good place to grow old.
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I'm not the kind of person you think I am, I'm not the anti-Christ, or the iron man.
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MTV made a huge impact. Heavy rotation took you from selling 1m albums to 20m albums, and that meant a lot of dough.
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I can't do anything in moderation.
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If you can laugh at your mistakes, it's a good thing.