Ozzy Osbourne Quotes
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Bubbles! Oh come on Sharon! I'm fucking Ozzy Osbourne, the Prince of fucking Darkness. Evil! Evil! What's fucking evil about a buttload of fucking bubbles!?
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after one of his dogs urinated in the bedroom Who pissed!!? Who pissed on my fucking carpet!?! That bastard fucking dog man. I'm going to throw you in the pool! Get the fuck out of my house! Why do they do it Sharon? Whats the deal man? It's a fucking terrorist man! It's fucking part of Bin Laden's gang! Fucking Ali Baba used to go work on this rug.
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I'm dyslexic, I have attention-deficit disorder, and I've got something like a hereditary tremor.
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Being sober on a bus is, like, totally different than being drunk on a bus.
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How the fuck you feed a tree?...What...you put a ham sandwich on the tree?
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If you want to be --ing individual, don’t get a tattoo. Every --er’s got one these days.
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I cannot turn down this incredible honor twice.
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Nobody ever told me, I found out for myself, You gotta believe in foolish miracles, it's not how you play the game, it's if you win or lose, you can choose, don't confuse, win or lose.
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You don't need to hire a dog therapist, you just need to wake up at 7 am and open the fucking door!
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Of all the things I've lost I miss my mind the most.
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The idea of a band nowadays is 5 pretty boys, one with a tattoo, one with a shaved head, and on and on. What the fuck is that? I mean, I like Britney Spears, I think she's pretty, but I'm not from the Mickey Mouse Club-I'm from the Godzilla Club!
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Weather in Afghanistan, 2000 degrees and cloudy. What the fuck am I doing? I'm stuck on the weather channel. AHHH!
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To Kelly, after he's become suspicious You haven't been playing doctors and nurses have you?
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L.A.'s not a good place to grow old.
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To be a liar, you've got to have a great memory, and I don't have a memory.
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I am a raging alcoholic and a raging addict and I didn't want to see my kids do the same thing.
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I'm not the kind of person you think I am, I'm not the anti-Christ, or the iron man.
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It's all part of my journey - I've done a lot of stupid things, but you learn by your mistakes.
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With marriage, you've just got to stick it out. You can't jump off the boat at the first bump in the waves.
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I couldn't be a royal. It's like living in a supersonic goldfish bowl.
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I used to fantasize that Paul McCartney would marry my sister.
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Somebody said to me this morning, 'To what do you attribute your longevity?' I don't know. I mean, I couldn't have planned my life out better. By all accounts I should be dead! The abuse I put my body through: the drugs, the alcohol, the lifestyle I've lived the last 30 years!
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I'll only retire in the day I should be dead and they have me buried, and some idiot spell over my casket some stupid gospel stuff.
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I don't know if I'm a medium for some outside source. Whatever it is, frankly, I hope it's not what I think … Satan.