Chelsea Handler Quotes
I don't think I'm a good host. I'm not a good host. I'm terrible at hosting. That's my problem.

Quotes to Explore
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Let's judge a man on what he's done.
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Team synergy has an extraordinary impact on business results.
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People just decided I was an R&B artist because I'm black.
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The confession of evil works is the first beginning of good works.
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I think it's always easy to be sympathetic to parts of the government in detail; in their concrete manifestations. Because obviously, we don't have government for no reason.
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I like to have fun, but I don't think of myself as being funny. But I'm a big jokester, so I make fun of myself a lot!
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It's so hard for me to wrap my head around the concept of truth, I don't even know what people mean by it.
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Traditional matter must be glorified, since it would be easier to listen to the re-creation of familiar stories than to quite new and unexpected things; the listeners, we must remember, needed poetry chiefly as the re-creation of tired hours.
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I kind of went into soap opera with 'General Hospital' in the '80s. It's like theater because every day it's a new script, which really doesn't have a beginning, middle or end like a play or a movie script. So you have to be on your toes and bring it every day. And you have to be spontaneous, which is really how I like to work.
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In terms of 'Seinfeld', I think there's lot of reality in a show that's supposed to be about nothing.
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So they all went away from the little log house. The shutters were over the windows, so the little house could not see them go. It stayed there inside the log fence, behind the two big oak trees that in the summertime had made green roofs for Mary and Laura to play under.
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I am suspicious of writers who go looking for issues to address. Writers are neither preachers nor journalists. Journalists know much more than most writers about what's going on in the world. And if you want to change things, you do journalism.
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The Chinese are really good at diplomacy - and even at making their interlocutors feel very uncomfortable.
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I live with myself. I wake up with myself, I eat, and I take a dump with myself. I don't see anything special there. I do all the same things other human beings and creatures do. I don't see any need to be telling the data of the day of this particular human being by posting it on online. It's not interesting to me.
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I really loved living in the White House, but I don't miss it at all.
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What is new in the world? Nothing. What is old in the world? Nothing. Everything has always been and will always be.
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I do a lot of visualisations and meditation and a lot of hippie stuff.
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Theatre is how I first encountered art on any level.
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Pagers are my life-I try to get them in to our music as much as possible.
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I'm very excited about this wonderful opportunity to take part in the evolution of a company that is integral to the Hispanic community and a powerful force in all areas of the media.
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In the cable news arena, you have two partisan networks looking out for their viewers. I think CNN needs to look out for the rest of us.
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We actually found some home videos, some really funny footage of me when I was around 3 years old. I come up to the camera to do a Nixon impression. I don't know who taught me that, but I come up to the camera and said, 'I am not a crook.' I got a really good laugh. You see me register that bringing joy to people is a positive thing.
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I was on them a little bit after the game because they were dumping the ball in his lap when he wasn't hot. But I thought they did a good job of milking the clock.
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I don't think I'm a good host. I'm not a good host. I'm terrible at hosting. That's my problem.