Chelsea Handler Quotes
Quotes to Explore
-
Nearly all government advice on terrorism sacrifices practical particulars for an unalarming tone. The usual guidance is to maintain a three-day supply of food and water along with a radio, flashlight, batteries and first-aid kit.
-
I need to feel as if everything is clean and in its proper place before I can even attempt to write one word. At least, that's what I tell myself. I make the bed, I put away the dishes, maybe I dust, maybe I do the laundry, maybe I go to the post office.
-
Why is it that our young kids all across America can solve the most complex problems in a video game involving executive decision making and analytical thinking, yet we accept the fact that they can't add or read?
-
Being on 'The Vampire Diaries' feels almost like a game you play when you're a kid. When I was a kid, I used to have to take the garbage out at night on Wednesdays. I lived out in the country. I'd take the garbage out, and I used to pretend that I was the only person in the whole world, except for one other person, and he was looking for me.
-
The best restriction I learned was getting into the habit of doing something, even if I didn't feel like it, instead of running away from it. Sometimes good work needs to be earned, and when you can overcome yourself, the muse notices and celebrates.
-
Los Cabos has been an amalgam of many cultures that have been coming here. There have been beautiful Jesuit missions for example, in many places around this area. The towns are incredible. But there is a very strong Mexicanized culture here that exists because people from different parts of Mexico have come to live here.
-
The public debate about evolution itself, as opposed to whether to teach it, is something else. It is boring, demeaning, and insufferably dull.
-
Sandy Koufax went to the same school as me. I graduated two years ahead of Sandy.
-
Each generation seems to invent its own reasons for war.
-
The actress they'd hired had refused to appear naked in front of the camera. I didn't like to appear naked either, but the first thing I did was take off my clothes and jump into the pool completely naked.
-
We decided we don't use the term 'fat' for me. We use the term 'juicy' for me. My wife's fine with it, but the rule is when I'm over double her weight, it's over.
-
Reddit is where anyone can come and tell their real story.
-
'The Outsiders' died on the vine being sold as a drugstore paperback.
-
I was doing things that weren't good for me. So I checked into the Churchill Priory clinic. It was the best thing I've done for ages.
-
My perception is that I've never done anything but work really hard.
-
I can't even read notes. But I can teach someone how to make a guitar smoke.
-
I didn't really feel that there were any filler tracks on 'The Red Shoes,' but if I were to do that album now, I wouldn't make it so long.
-
If you get to my age in life and nobody thinks well of you, I don't care how big your bank account is, your life is a disaster.
-
The lamp burns bright when wick and oil are clean.
-
I do movies I would go to see.
-
I don't think that's changed at all. I think there are a thousand stocks out there that could make you rich, totally independent of what you do for a living.
-
If consulted by friends about marital dramas, I always encourage the singles to marry, the married to stick together, the neglectful and wayward to renew their loving commitment and the wronged to forgive.
-
My deepest apologies to all of our friends, fans and people who have worked on and supported us being a part of this festival, we are sorry for these awful circumstances and you can be certain this will not defeat us.
-
I'm not friends with any of my exes, and I've never understood the appeal.
