Ogden Nash Quotes
-
To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up.
-
Progress might have been alright once, but it has gone on too long.
-
She took those pills from the pill concocter, And Isabel calmly cured the doctor.
-
People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.
-
The giant was hairy, the giant was horrid,He had one eye in the middle of his forehead.
-
I think that I shall never see a billboard lovely as a tree. Perhaps, unless the billboards fall, I'll never see a tree at all.
-
The sky is now indelible ink,The branches reft asunder;But you and I we do not shrink;We love the lovely thunder.
-
Smite, Smoot, Be rugged and rough, Smut if smitten Is front-page stuff.
-
I have an idea that the phrase 'weaker sex' was coined by some woman to disarm the man she was preparing to overwhelm.
-
The most exciting happiness is the happiness generated by forces beyond your control.
-
Professional men, they have no cares; whatever happens, they get theirs.
-
The cow is of the bovine ilk; one end is moo, the other milk.
-
One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
-
Every Englishman is convinced of one thing, viz.: That to be an Englishman is to belong to the most exclusive club there is.
-
The pirate gaped at Belinda's dragon,And gulped some grog from his pocket flagon,He fired two bullets, but they didn't hit,And Custard gobbled him, every bit.
-
O Adolescence, O AdolescenceI wince before thine incandescence . . .When anxious elders swarm aboutCrying 'Where are you going?', thou answerest 'Out,' . . .Strewn! All is lost and nothing foundLord, how thou leavest things around! . . .
-
Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker.
-
I hope my tongue in prune juice smothers, If I belittle dogs and mothers.
-
A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold.
-
Maybe I couldn't be dafter, But I keep wondering if this time we settle our differences before a war instead of after.
-
Women would rather be right than reasonable.
-
I think that comparisons are truly odious, I do not approve of this constant proud or envious to-do;And furthermore, dear friends, I think that you and yours are delightful and I also think that me and mine are delightful too.
-
Some debts are fun when you are acquiring them, but none are fun when you set about retiring them.
-
Too clever is dumb.