Ogden Nash Quotes
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People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.
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Some hate broccoli, some hate bacon I hate having my picture taken. How can your family claim to love you And then demand a picture of you?
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The pirate gaped at Belinda's dragon,And gulped some grog from his pocket flagon,He fired two bullets, but they didn't hit,And Custard gobbled him, every bit.
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To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up.
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She took those pills from the pill concocter, And Isabel calmly cured the doctor.
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Progress might have been alright once, but it has gone on too long.
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Here's a toast to the roast that good fellowship lends, with the sparkle of beer and wine; May its sentiment always be deeper, my friends, than the foam at the top of the stein. Then here's to the heartening wassail, wherever good fellows are found; Be its master instead of its vassal, and order the glasses around.
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The sky is now indelible ink,The branches reft asunder;But you and I we do not shrink;We love the lovely thunder.
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The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we quit it with regret; we make up our minds every night to leave it early, but we make up our bodies every morning to keep it late.
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Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.
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Smite, Smoot, Be rugged and rough, Smut if smitten Is front-page stuff.
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O Adolescence, O AdolescenceI wince before thine incandescence . . .When anxious elders swarm aboutCrying 'Where are you going?', thou answerest 'Out,' . . .Strewn! All is lost and nothing foundLord, how thou leavest things around! . . .
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Miranda in Miranda's sight Is old and gray and dirty; Twenty-nine she was last night; This morning she is thirty.
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I have an idea that the phrase 'weaker sex' was coined by some woman to disarm the man she was preparing to overwhelm.
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The cow is of the bovine ilk; one end is moo, the other milk.
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Behold the hippopotamus!We laugh at how he looks to us,And yet in moments dank and grim,I wonder how we look to him.
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Belinda lived in a little white house,With a little black kitten and a little gray mouse,And a little yellow dog and a little red wagon,And a realio, trulio, little pet dragon.
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Commitments the voters don't know about can't hurt you.
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I think that I shall never see a billboard lovely as a tree. Perhaps, unless the billboards fall, I'll never see a tree at all.
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Too clever is dumb.
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Professional men, they have no cares; whatever happens, they get theirs.
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One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
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Children aren't happy with nothing to ignore, and that's what parents were created for.
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A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold.