Ogden Nash Quotes
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Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else.
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Some debts are fun when you are acquiring them, but none are fun when you set about retiring them.
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I do not like to get the news, because there has never been an era when so many things were going so right for so many of the wrong persons.
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And I have no desire to get ugly,But I cannot help mentioning that the door of a bigoted mind opens outwards so that the only result of the pressure of facts upon it is to close it more snugly.
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The garden is a raging sea, The hurricane is snarling;Oh, happy you and happy me!Isn't the lightning darling?
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Life is not having been told that the man has just waxed the floor.
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Silly girl, silver girl, Draw the mirror toward you; Time who makes the years to whirl Adorned as he adored you.
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There is only one way to achieve happiness on this terrestrial ball, and that is to have either a clear conscience or none at all.
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God in his wisdom made the fly And then forgot to tell us why.
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The trouble with a kitten is that eventually it becomes a cat.
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Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.
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I would live all my life in nonchalance and insouciance, Were it not for making a living, which is rather a nouciance.
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Maybe I couldn't be dafter, But I keep wondering if this time we settle our differences before a war instead of after.
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Some people, and it doesn't matter whether they are paupers or millionaires,Think that anything they have is the best in the world just because it is theirs.
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Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.
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Basketball, a game which won't be fit for people until they set the basket umbilicus-high and return the giraffes to the zoo.
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So I think there is one rule every host and hostess ought to keep with the comb and nail file and bicarbonate and aromatic spirits on a handy shelf,Which is don't spoil the denouement by telling the guests everything is terrible, but let them have the thrill of finding it out for themselves.
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It is an indication that my mental buttery is butterless and my mental larder lardless,And it consists not of 'Stop me if you've heard this one,' but of 'I know you've heard this one because I told it to you myself, but I'm going to tell it to you again regardless...'
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The song of canariesNever varies,And when they're moultingThey're pretty revolting.
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I think that comparisons are truly odious, I do not approve of this constant proud or envious to-do;And furthermore, dear friends, I think that you and yours are delightful and I also think that me and mine are delightful too.
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Whales have calves, Cats have kittens Bears have Cubs, Bats have bittens, Swans have cygnets, Seals have puppies, But guppies just have little guppies.
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The moral is that it is probably better not to sin at all, but ifsome kind of sin you must be pursuing,Well, remember to do it by doing rather than by not doing.
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My heart leaps up when I beholdA rainbow in the sky;Contrariwise, my blood runs coldWhen little boys go by.For little boys as little boys,No special hate I carry,But now and then they grow to men,And when they do, they marry.No matter how they tarry,Eventually they marry.And, swine among the pearls,They marry little girls.
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Every New Year is the direct descendant, isn't it, of a long line of proven criminals?