Ogden Nash Quotes
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The bear said, Isabel, glad to meet you,How do, Isabel, now I'll eat you!Isabel, Isabel, didn't worry.Isabel didn't scream or scurry.
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Fear not the thunder, little one.It's weather, simply weather;It's friendly giants full of funClapping their hands together.
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Do you think my mind is maturing late, or simply rotted early?
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How confusing the beams from memory's lamp are; One day a bachelor, the next a grampa. What is the secret of the trick? How did I get so old so quick?
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The song of canariesNever varies,And when they're moultingThey're pretty revolting.
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The giant was hairy, the giant was horrid,He had one eye in the middle of his forehead.
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And I have no desire to get ugly,But I cannot help mentioning that the door of a bigoted mind opens outwards so that the only result of the pressure of facts upon it is to close it more snugly.
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Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.
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God in his wisdom made the fly And then forgot to tell us why.
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I claim there ain't Another Saint As great as Valentine.
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I would live all my life in nonchalance and insouciance, Were it not for making a living, which is rather a nouciance.
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Life is not having been told that the man has just waxed the floor.
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It is an indication that my mental buttery is butterless and my mental larder lardless,And it consists not of 'Stop me if you've heard this one,' but of 'I know you've heard this one because I told it to you myself, but I'm going to tell it to you again regardless...'
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The trouble with a kitten is that eventually it becomes a cat.
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The moral is that it is probably better not to sin at all, but ifsome kind of sin you must be pursuing,Well, remember to do it by doing rather than by not doing.
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There is only one way to achieve happiness on this terrestrial ball, and that is to have either a clear conscience or none at all.
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There are two kinds of people who blow through life like a breeze, And one kind is gossipers, and the other kind is gossipees, And they certainly annoy each other, But they certainly enjoy each other, Yes, they pretend to flout each other, But they couldn't do without each other...
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Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.
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If you don't want to work you have to work to earn enough money so that you won't have to work.
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The garden is a raging sea, The hurricane is snarling;Oh, happy you and happy me!Isn't the lightning darling?
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A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.
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So I think there is one rule every host and hostess ought to keep with the comb and nail file and bicarbonate and aromatic spirits on a handy shelf,Which is don't spoil the denouement by telling the guests everything is terrible, but let them have the thrill of finding it out for themselves.
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To lave in the wave,Majestic and chilly,Tomorrow I crave;But today it is silly.It is pleasant to look at the ocean;Tomorrow, perhaps, I shall swim in it.
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There has been a lot of progress during my lifetime, but I'm afraid it's heading in the wrong direction.