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And I have no desire to get ugly,But I cannot help mentioning that the door of a bigoted mind opens outwards so that the only result of the pressure of facts upon it is to close it more snugly.
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Silly girl, silver girl, Draw the mirror toward you; Time who makes the years to whirl Adorned as he adored you.
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I claim there ain't Another Saint As great as Valentine.
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Some debts are fun when you are acquiring them, but none are fun when you set about retiring them.
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I do not like to get the news, because there has never been an era when so many things were going so right for so many of the wrong persons.
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The garden is a raging sea, The hurricane is snarling;Oh, happy you and happy me!Isn't the lightning darling?
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There is only one way to achieve happiness on this terrestrial ball, and that is to have either a clear conscience or none at all.
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The song of canariesNever varies,And when they're moultingThey're pretty revolting.
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Life is not having been told that the man has just waxed the floor.
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God in his wisdom made the fly And then forgot to tell us why.
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The trouble with a kitten is that eventually it becomes a cat.
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Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.
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How confusing the beams from memory's lamp are; One day a bachelor, the next a grampa. What is the secret of the trick? How did I get so old so quick?
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I would live all my life in nonchalance and insouciance, Were it not for making a living, which is rather a nouciance.
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So I think there is one rule every host and hostess ought to keep with the comb and nail file and bicarbonate and aromatic spirits on a handy shelf,Which is don't spoil the denouement by telling the guests everything is terrible, but let them have the thrill of finding it out for themselves.
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It is an indication that my mental buttery is butterless and my mental larder lardless,And it consists not of 'Stop me if you've heard this one,' but of 'I know you've heard this one because I told it to you myself, but I'm going to tell it to you again regardless...'
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Basketball, a game which won't be fit for people until they set the basket umbilicus-high and return the giraffes to the zoo.
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Maybe I couldn't be dafter, But I keep wondering if this time we settle our differences before a war instead of after.
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Some people, and it doesn't matter whether they are paupers or millionaires,Think that anything they have is the best in the world just because it is theirs.
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Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.
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There are two kinds of people who blow through life like a breeze, And one kind is gossipers, and the other kind is gossipees, And they certainly annoy each other, But they certainly enjoy each other, Yes, they pretend to flout each other, But they couldn't do without each other...
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I think that comparisons are truly odious, I do not approve of this constant proud or envious to-do;And furthermore, dear friends, I think that you and yours are delightful and I also think that me and mine are delightful too.
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Whales have calves, Cats have kittens Bears have Cubs, Bats have bittens, Swans have cygnets, Seals have puppies, But guppies just have little guppies.
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Every New Year is the direct descendant, isn't it, of a long line of proven criminals?