Ogden Nash Quotes
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Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else.
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The song of canariesNever varies,And when they're moultingThey're pretty revolting.
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The bear said, Isabel, glad to meet you,How do, Isabel, now I'll eat you!Isabel, Isabel, didn't worry.Isabel didn't scream or scurry.
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Some debts are fun when you are acquiring them, but none are fun when you set about retiring them.
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I do not like to get the news, because there has never been an era when so many things were going so right for so many of the wrong persons.
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Silly girl, silver girl, Draw the mirror toward you; Time who makes the years to whirl Adorned as he adored you.
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How confusing the beams from memory's lamp are; One day a bachelor, the next a grampa. What is the secret of the trick? How did I get so old so quick?
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I claim there ain't Another Saint As great as Valentine.
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The trouble with a kitten is that eventually it becomes a cat.
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God in his wisdom made the fly And then forgot to tell us why.
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I would live all my life in nonchalance and insouciance, Were it not for making a living, which is rather a nouciance.
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There is only one way to achieve happiness on this terrestrial ball, and that is to have either a clear conscience or none at all.
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Life is not having been told that the man has just waxed the floor.
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The garden is a raging sea, The hurricane is snarling;Oh, happy you and happy me!Isn't the lightning darling?
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It is an indication that my mental buttery is butterless and my mental larder lardless,And it consists not of 'Stop me if you've heard this one,' but of 'I know you've heard this one because I told it to you myself, but I'm going to tell it to you again regardless...'
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Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.
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There are two kinds of people who blow through life like a breeze, And one kind is gossipers, and the other kind is gossipees, And they certainly annoy each other, But they certainly enjoy each other, Yes, they pretend to flout each other, But they couldn't do without each other...
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Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.
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A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.
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So I think there is one rule every host and hostess ought to keep with the comb and nail file and bicarbonate and aromatic spirits on a handy shelf,Which is don't spoil the denouement by telling the guests everything is terrible, but let them have the thrill of finding it out for themselves.
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The moral is that it is probably better not to sin at all, but ifsome kind of sin you must be pursuing,Well, remember to do it by doing rather than by not doing.
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Maybe I couldn't be dafter, But I keep wondering if this time we settle our differences before a war instead of after.
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Some people, and it doesn't matter whether they are paupers or millionaires,Think that anything they have is the best in the world just because it is theirs.
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My heart leaps up when I beholdA rainbow in the sky;Contrariwise, my blood runs coldWhen little boys go by.For little boys as little boys,No special hate I carry,But now and then they grow to men,And when they do, they marry.No matter how they tarry,Eventually they marry.And, swine among the pearls,They marry little girls.