Ogden Nash Quotes
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How confusing the beams from memory's lamp are; One day a bachelor, the next a grampa. What is the secret of the trick? How did I get so old so quick?
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Remorse is a violent dyspepsia of the mind.
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The further through life I driftThe more obvious it becomes that I am lacking in thrift.
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It is the sin of omission, the second kind of sin,That lays eggs under your skin.
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Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.
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Fear not the thunder, little one.It's weather, simply weather;It's friendly giants full of funClapping their hands together.
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I would live all my life in nonchalance and insouciance, Were it not for making a living, which is rather a nouciance.
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There are two kinds of people who blow through life like a breeze, And one kind is gossipers, and the other kind is gossipees, And they certainly annoy each other, But they certainly enjoy each other, Yes, they pretend to flout each other, But they couldn't do without each other...
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It is an indication that my mental buttery is butterless and my mental larder lardless,And it consists not of 'Stop me if you've heard this one,' but of 'I know you've heard this one because I told it to you myself, but I'm going to tell it to you again regardless...'
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And I have no desire to get ugly,But I cannot help mentioning that the door of a bigoted mind opens outwards so that the only result of the pressure of facts upon it is to close it more snugly.
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God in his wisdom made the fly And then forgot to tell us why.
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The trouble with a kitten is that eventually it becomes a cat.
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I claim there ain't Another Saint As great as Valentine.
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I hope of lightning our supply Will never be exhausted;You know it's lanterns in the skyFor angels who are losted.
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Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.
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The giant was hairy, the giant was horrid,He had one eye in the middle of his forehead.
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My heart leaps up when I beholdA rainbow in the sky;Contrariwise, my blood runs coldWhen little boys go by.For little boys as little boys,No special hate I carry,But now and then they grow to men,And when they do, they marry.No matter how they tarry,Eventually they marry.And, swine among the pearls,They marry little girls.
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Your hair may be brushed, but your mind's untidy,You've had about seven hours' sleep since Friday,No wonder you feel that lost sensation;You're sunk from a riot of relaxation.
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The moral is that it is probably better not to sin at all, but ifsome kind of sin you must be pursuing,Well, remember to do it by doing rather than by not doing.
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Some people, and it doesn't matter whether they are paupers or millionaires,Think that anything they have is the best in the world just because it is theirs.
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Life is not having been told that the man has just waxed the floor.
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There is only one way to achieve happiness on this terrestrial ball, and that is to have either a clear conscience or none at all.
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The garden is a raging sea, The hurricane is snarling;Oh, happy you and happy me!Isn't the lightning darling?
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There is one thing that ought to be taught in all the colleges,Which is that people ought to be taught not to go around always making apologies.