-
I do not like to get the news, because there has never been an era when so many things were going so right for so many of the wrong persons.
Ogden Nash
-
Do you think my mind is maturing late, or simply rotted early?
Ogden Nash
-
How confusing the beams from memory's lamp are; One day a bachelor, the next a grampa. What is the secret of the trick? How did I get so old so quick?
Ogden Nash
-
The song of canariesNever varies,And when they're moultingThey're pretty revolting.
Ogden Nash
-
Fear not the thunder, little one.It's weather, simply weather;It's friendly giants full of funClapping their hands together.
Ogden Nash
-
And I have no desire to get ugly,But I cannot help mentioning that the door of a bigoted mind opens outwards so that the only result of the pressure of facts upon it is to close it more snugly.
Ogden Nash
-
The giant was hairy, the giant was horrid,He had one eye in the middle of his forehead.
Ogden Nash
-
I claim there ain't Another Saint As great as Valentine.
Ogden Nash
-
It is an indication that my mental buttery is butterless and my mental larder lardless,And it consists not of 'Stop me if you've heard this one,' but of 'I know you've heard this one because I told it to you myself, but I'm going to tell it to you again regardless...'
Ogden Nash
-
The trouble with a kitten is that eventually it becomes a cat.
Ogden Nash
-
There is only one way to achieve happiness on this terrestrial ball, and that is to have either a clear conscience or none at all.
Ogden Nash
-
Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.
Ogden Nash
-
Life is not having been told that the man has just waxed the floor.
Ogden Nash
-
God in his wisdom made the fly And then forgot to tell us why.
Ogden Nash
-
I would live all my life in nonchalance and insouciance, Were it not for making a living, which is rather a nouciance.
Ogden Nash
-
Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.
Ogden Nash
-
The garden is a raging sea, The hurricane is snarling;Oh, happy you and happy me!Isn't the lightning darling?
Ogden Nash
-
There are two kinds of people who blow through life like a breeze, And one kind is gossipers, and the other kind is gossipees, And they certainly annoy each other, But they certainly enjoy each other, Yes, they pretend to flout each other, But they couldn't do without each other...
Ogden Nash
-
A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.
Ogden Nash
-
The moral is that it is probably better not to sin at all, but ifsome kind of sin you must be pursuing,Well, remember to do it by doing rather than by not doing.
Ogden Nash
-
So I think there is one rule every host and hostess ought to keep with the comb and nail file and bicarbonate and aromatic spirits on a handy shelf,Which is don't spoil the denouement by telling the guests everything is terrible, but let them have the thrill of finding it out for themselves.
Ogden Nash
-
If you don't want to work you have to work to earn enough money so that you won't have to work.
Ogden Nash
-
Maybe I couldn't be dafter, But I keep wondering if this time we settle our differences before a war instead of after.
Ogden Nash
-
My heart leaps up when I beholdA rainbow in the sky;Contrariwise, my blood runs coldWhen little boys go by.For little boys as little boys,No special hate I carry,But now and then they grow to men,And when they do, they marry.No matter how they tarry,Eventually they marry.And, swine among the pearls,They marry little girls.
Ogden Nash
