Ogden Nash Quotes
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Every New Year is the direct descendant, isn't it, of a long line of proven criminals?
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My heart leaps up when I beholdA rainbow in the sky;Contrariwise, my blood runs coldWhen little boys go by.For little boys as little boys,No special hate I carry,But now and then they grow to men,And when they do, they marry.No matter how they tarry,Eventually they marry.And, swine among the pearls,They marry little girls.
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Basketball, a game which won't be fit for people until they set the basket umbilicus-high and return the giraffes to the zoo.
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To lave in the wave,Majestic and chilly,Tomorrow I crave;But today it is silly.It is pleasant to look at the ocean;Tomorrow, perhaps, I shall swim in it.
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How pleasant to sit on the beach,On the beach, on the sand, in the sun,With ocean galore within reach,And nothing at all to be done!.
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Hark, hark! the larkOn windswept barkFreezes against a sky of lead!Now see him stop,Take one small hop,And suddenly keel over dead!
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I think that comparisons are truly odious, I do not approve of this constant proud or envious to-do;And furthermore, dear friends, I think that you and yours are delightful and I also think that me and mine are delightful too.
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Whales have calves, Cats have kittens Bears have Cubs, Bats have bittens, Swans have cygnets, Seals have puppies, But guppies just have little guppies.
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I hope of lightning our supply Will never be exhausted;You know it's lanterns in the skyFor angels who are losted.
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There has been a lot of progress during my lifetime, but I'm afraid it's heading in the wrong direction.
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Your hair may be brushed, but your mind's untidy,You've had about seven hours' sleep since Friday,No wonder you feel that lost sensation;You're sunk from a riot of relaxation.
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A fig for embryo Lohengrins!I'll open all his safety pins,I'll pepper his powder, and salt his bottle,And give him readings from Aristotle.Sand for his spinach I'll gladly bring,And Tabasco sauce for his teething ring.Then perhaps he'll struggle through fire and waterTo marry somebody else's daughter.
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Now the name of the little black kitten was Ink,And the little gray mouse, she called him Blink,And the little yellow dog was sharp as Mustard,But the dragon was a coward, and she called him Custard.
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There is one thing that ought to be taught in all the colleges,Which is that people ought to be taught not to go around always making apologies.
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A lady wants to be dressed exactly like everybody else but she gets pretty up- set if she sees anybody else dressed exactly like her.
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People expect old men to die, They do not really mourn old men. Old men are different. People look At them with eyes that wonder when... People watch with unshocked eyes; But the old men know when an old man dies.
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These are enlightened days in which you can get hot water and cold water out of the same spigot,And everybody has something about which they are proud to be broad-minded but they also have other things about which you would be wasting your breath if you tried to convince them that they were a bigot.
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Listen, buds, it's March twenty first;Don't you know enough to burst?Come on, birds, unlock your throats!Come on, gardeners, shed your coats!
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We love the kindly wind and hail,The jolly thunderbolt,We watch in glee the fairy trailOf ampere, watt, and volt.
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When people reject a truth or an untruth it is not because it is a truth or an untruth that they reject it.No, if it isn't in accord with their beliefs in the first place they simply say, 'Nothing doing,' and refuse to inspect it.
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People who have what they want are fond of telling people who haven't what they want that they really don't want it.
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And I also say Pooh for sweetness and light, And if you want to get the most out of life, why the thing to do is to be a gossiper by day and gossipee by night.
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Being a fatherIs quite a bother,But I like it, rather.
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Most bankers dwell in marble halls,Which they get to dwell in because they encourage deposits and discourage withdrawals,And particularly because they all observe one rule which woe betides the banker who fails to heed it,Which is you must never lend any money to anybody unless they don't need it.