Ogden Nash Quotes
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So I think there is one rule every host and hostess ought to keep with the comb and nail file and bicarbonate and aromatic spirits on a handy shelf,Which is don't spoil the denouement by telling the guests everything is terrible, but let them have the thrill of finding it out for themselves.
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My heart leaps up when I beholdA rainbow in the sky;Contrariwise, my blood runs coldWhen little boys go by.For little boys as little boys,No special hate I carry,But now and then they grow to men,And when they do, they marry.No matter how they tarry,Eventually they marry.And, swine among the pearls,They marry little girls.
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To lave in the wave,Majestic and chilly,Tomorrow I crave;But today it is silly.It is pleasant to look at the ocean;Tomorrow, perhaps, I shall swim in it.
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A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.
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We love the kindly wind and hail,The jolly thunderbolt,We watch in glee the fairy trailOf ampere, watt, and volt.
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There is one thing that ought to be taught in all the colleges,Which is that people ought to be taught not to go around always making apologies.
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How pleasant to sit on the beach,On the beach, on the sand, in the sun,With ocean galore within reach,And nothing at all to be done!.
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Hark, hark! the larkOn windswept barkFreezes against a sky of lead!Now see him stop,Take one small hop,And suddenly keel over dead!
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Maybe I couldn't be dafter, But I keep wondering if this time we settle our differences before a war instead of after.
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Every New Year is the direct descendant, isn't it, of a long line of proven criminals?
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Whales have calves, Cats have kittens Bears have Cubs, Bats have bittens, Swans have cygnets, Seals have puppies, But guppies just have little guppies.
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Most bankers dwell in marble halls,Which they get to dwell in because they encourage deposits and discourage withdrawals,And particularly because they all observe one rule which woe betides the banker who fails to heed it,Which is you must never lend any money to anybody unless they don't need it.
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Basketball, a game which won't be fit for people until they set the basket umbilicus-high and return the giraffes to the zoo.
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Oh, than to enjoy a storm like thisThere's nothing I would rather, Don't dive between the blankets, Miss!Or else leave room for Father.
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I think that comparisons are truly odious, I do not approve of this constant proud or envious to-do;And furthermore, dear friends, I think that you and yours are delightful and I also think that me and mine are delightful too.
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Sleep is perverse as human nature, Sleep is perverse as a legislature, Sleep is as forward as hives or goiters, And where it is least desired, it loiters.
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The turtle trapped 'twixt plated decks Doth practically conceal its sex I think it clever of the turtle In such a fix to be so fertile.
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A fig for embryo Lohengrins!I'll open all his safety pins,I'll pepper his powder, and salt his bottle,And give him readings from Aristotle.Sand for his spinach I'll gladly bring,And Tabasco sauce for his teething ring.Then perhaps he'll struggle through fire and waterTo marry somebody else's daughter.
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The weather is so very mildThat some would call it warm.Good gracious, aren't we lucky, child?Here comes a thunderstorm.
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When people reject a truth or an untruth it is not because it is a truth or an untruth that they reject it.No, if it isn't in accord with their beliefs in the first place they simply say, 'Nothing doing,' and refuse to inspect it.
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Man is a victim of dopeIn the incurable form of hope.
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A dressing is not a compote A dressing is not a custard It consists of pepper and salt, Vinegar, oil and mustard.
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Indoors or out, no one relaxesIn March, that month of wind and taxes,The wind will presently disappear,The taxes last us all the year.
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Now the name of the little black kitten was Ink,And the little gray mouse, she called him Blink,And the little yellow dog was sharp as Mustard,But the dragon was a coward, and she called him Custard.