Ogden Nash Quotes
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Most bankers dwell in marble halls,Which they get to dwell in because they encourage deposits and discourage withdrawals,And particularly because they all observe one rule which woe betides the banker who fails to heed it,Which is you must never lend any money to anybody unless they don't need it.
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Life has a tendency to obfuscate and bewilder,Such as fating us to spend the first part of our livesbeing embarrassed by our parents and the last partbeing embarrassed by our childer.
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Being a fatherIs quite a bother,But I like it, rather.
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I think progress began to retrogress when Wilbur and Orville started tinkering around in Dayton and at Kitty Hawk, because I believe that two Wrights made a wrong.
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How easy for those who do not bulgeTo not overindulge!
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When smut's to be smitten Smoot will smite For G-d, for country, And Fahrenheit.
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Any hound a porcupine nudgesCan't be blamed for harboring grudges.I know one hound that laughed all winterAt a porcupine that sat on a splinter.
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It is common knowledge to every schoolboy and even every Bachelor of Arts,That all sin is divided into two parts.One kind of sin is called a sin of commission, and that is very important And it is what you are doing when you are doing something you oughtn't...
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Don't Cry Darling, It's Blood All Right
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May I join you in the doghouse, Rover?I wish to retire till the party's over.
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Sleep is perverse as human nature, Sleep is perverse as a legislature, Sleep is as forward as hives or goiters, And where it is least desired, it loiters.
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Oh, Night will not see thirty again, Yet soft her wing, Miranda; Pick up your glass and tell me, then - How old is Spring, Miranda?
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Senator Smoot is an institute Not to be bribed with pelf; He guards our homes from erotic tomes By reading them all himself.
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It is my duty, gentlemen, to inform you that women are dictatorsall, and I recommend to you this moral:In real life it takes only one to make a quarrel.
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Camped on a tropic riverside,One day he missed his loving bride.She had, the guide informed him later,Been eaten by an alligator.Professor Twist could not but smile.'You mean,' he said, 'a crocodile.'
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And I also say Pooh for sweetness and light, And if you want to get the most out of life, why the thing to do is to be a gossiper by day and gossipee by night.
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I believe that people believe what they believe they believe.
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Humor is hope's companion in arms. It is not brash, it is not cheap, it is not heartless. Among other things I think humor is a shield, a weapon, a survival kit.
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I myself am more and more inclined to agree with Omar and Satchel Paige as I grow older: Don't try to rewrite what the moving finger has writ, and don't ever look over your shoulder.
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Time is timelessness for you; Calendars for the human; What's a year, or thirty, to Loveliness made woman?
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Leave the earth to the strong and athletic,And the sea to adventure upon.But the sun and the sandNo contractor can copy;We lie in the landOf the lotus and poppy;We vegetate, calm and aesthetic,On the beach, on the sand, in the sun.
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Some primal termite knocked on wood And tasted it, and found it good! And that is why your Cousin May Fell through the parlor floor today.
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Once in a night as black as pitchIsabel met a wicked old witch.the witch's face was cross and wrinkled,The witch's gums with teeth were sprinkled.Ho, ho, Isabel! the old witch crowed,I'll turn you into an ugly toad!
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When I remember bygone days I think how evening follows morn So many I loved were not yet dead, So many I love were not yet born.