Ogden Nash Quotes
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Indoors or out, no one relaxesIn March, that month of wind and taxes,The wind will presently disappear,The taxes last us all the year.
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How easy for those who do not bulgeTo not overindulge!
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Being a fatherIs quite a bother,But I like it, rather.
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Now the name of the little black kitten was Ink,And the little gray mouse, she called him Blink,And the little yellow dog was sharp as Mustard,But the dragon was a coward, and she called him Custard.
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May I join you in the doghouse, Rover?I wish to retire till the party's over.
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When smut's to be smitten Smoot will smite For G-d, for country, And Fahrenheit.
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These are enlightened days in which you can get hot water and cold water out of the same spigot,And everybody has something about which they are proud to be broad-minded but they also have other things about which you would be wasting your breath if you tried to convince them that they were a bigot.
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And I also say Pooh for sweetness and light, And if you want to get the most out of life, why the thing to do is to be a gossiper by day and gossipee by night.
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It is my duty, gentlemen, to inform you that women are dictatorsall, and I recommend to you this moral:In real life it takes only one to make a quarrel.
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Some primal termite knocked on wood And tasted it, and found it good! And that is why your Cousin May Fell through the parlor floor today.
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Leave the earth to the strong and athletic,And the sea to adventure upon.But the sun and the sandNo contractor can copy;We lie in the landOf the lotus and poppy;We vegetate, calm and aesthetic,On the beach, on the sand, in the sun.
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Camped on a tropic riverside,One day he missed his loving bride.She had, the guide informed him later,Been eaten by an alligator.Professor Twist could not but smile.'You mean,' he said, 'a crocodile.'
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Oh, Night will not see thirty again, Yet soft her wing, Miranda; Pick up your glass and tell me, then - How old is Spring, Miranda?
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Belinda was as brave as a barrel full of bears,And Ink and Blink chased lions down the stairs,Mustard was as brave as a tiger in a rage,But Custard cried for a nice safe cage.
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Most bankers dwell in marble halls,Which they get to dwell in because they encourage deposits and discourage withdrawals,And particularly because they all observe one rule which woe betides the banker who fails to heed it,Which is you must never lend any money to anybody unless they don't need it.
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Time is timelessness for you; Calendars for the human; What's a year, or thirty, to Loveliness made woman?
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I believe that people believe what they believe they believe.
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Senator Smoot is an institute Not to be bribed with pelf; He guards our homes from erotic tomes By reading them all himself.
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I dreamt that my hair was kempt. Then I dreamt that my true love unkempt it.
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Once in a night as black as pitchIsabel met a wicked old witch.the witch's face was cross and wrinkled,The witch's gums with teeth were sprinkled.Ho, ho, Isabel! the old witch crowed,I'll turn you into an ugly toad!
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Sleep is perverse as human nature, Sleep is perverse as a legislature, Sleep is as forward as hives or goiters, And where it is least desired, it loiters.
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I've earned repose to heal the ravagesOf these angelic-looking savages.Oh, progeny playing by itselfIs a lonely little elf,But progeny in roistering batchesWould drive St. francis from here to Natchez.
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Good wine needs no bush,And perhaps products that people really want need nohard-sell or soft-sell TV push.Why not?Look at pot.
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The codfish is a staple food For which I'm seldom in the mood. This fish is such an utter loss That people eat it with egg sauce.