Ogden Nash Quotes
-
Indoors or out, no one relaxesIn March, that month of wind and taxes,The wind will presently disappear,The taxes last us all the year.
-
Belinda was as brave as a barrel full of bears,And Ink and Blink chased lions down the stairs,Mustard was as brave as a tiger in a rage,But Custard cried for a nice safe cage.
-
When people reject a truth or an untruth it is not because it is a truth or an untruth that they reject it.No, if it isn't in accord with their beliefs in the first place they simply say, 'Nothing doing,' and refuse to inspect it.
-
The turtle trapped 'twixt plated decks Doth practically conceal its sex I think it clever of the turtle In such a fix to be so fertile.
-
I believe that people believe what they believe they believe.
-
These are enlightened days in which you can get hot water and cold water out of the same spigot,And everybody has something about which they are proud to be broad-minded but they also have other things about which you would be wasting your breath if you tried to convince them that they were a bigot.
-
People who have what they want are fond of telling people who haven't what they want that they really don't want it.
-
Senator Smoot is an institute Not to be bribed with pelf; He guards our homes from erotic tomes By reading them all himself.
-
Now the name of the little black kitten was Ink,And the little gray mouse, she called him Blink,And the little yellow dog was sharp as Mustard,But the dragon was a coward, and she called him Custard.
-
Listen, buds, it's March twenty first;Don't you know enough to burst?Come on, birds, unlock your throats!Come on, gardeners, shed your coats!
-
People expect old men to die, They do not really mourn old men. Old men are different. People look At them with eyes that wonder when... People watch with unshocked eyes; But the old men know when an old man dies.
-
Humor is hope's companion in arms. It is not brash, it is not cheap, it is not heartless. Among other things I think humor is a shield, a weapon, a survival kit.
-
Leave the earth to the strong and athletic,And the sea to adventure upon.But the sun and the sandNo contractor can copy;We lie in the landOf the lotus and poppy;We vegetate, calm and aesthetic,On the beach, on the sand, in the sun.
-
And I also say Pooh for sweetness and light, And if you want to get the most out of life, why the thing to do is to be a gossiper by day and gossipee by night.
-
Oh, Night will not see thirty again, Yet soft her wing, Miranda; Pick up your glass and tell me, then - How old is Spring, Miranda?
-
A lady wants to be dressed exactly like everybody else but she gets pretty up- set if she sees anybody else dressed exactly like her.
-
When smut's to be smitten Smoot will smite For G-d, for country, And Fahrenheit.
-
It is common knowledge to every schoolboy and even every Bachelor of Arts,That all sin is divided into two parts.One kind of sin is called a sin of commission, and that is very important And it is what you are doing when you are doing something you oughtn't...
-
How easy for those who do not bulgeTo not overindulge!
-
Don't Cry Darling, It's Blood All Right
-
Any hound a porcupine nudgesCan't be blamed for harboring grudges.I know one hound that laughed all winterAt a porcupine that sat on a splinter.
-
O all ye exorcizers come and exorcize now, and ye clergymen draw nigh and clerge,For I wish to be purged of an urge.It is an irksome urge, compounded of nettles and glue,And it is turning all my friends back into acquaintances, and all my acquaintances into people who look the other way when I heave into view.
-
I myself am more and more inclined to agree with Omar and Satchel Paige as I grow older: Don't try to rewrite what the moving finger has writ, and don't ever look over your shoulder.
-
May I join you in the doghouse, Rover?I wish to retire till the party's over.