Ogden Nash Quotes
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The weather is so very mildThat some would call it warm.Good gracious, aren't we lucky, child?Here comes a thunderstorm.
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When smut's to be smitten Smoot will smite For G-d, for country, And Fahrenheit.
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Now the name of the little black kitten was Ink,And the little gray mouse, she called him Blink,And the little yellow dog was sharp as Mustard,But the dragon was a coward, and she called him Custard.
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When people reject a truth or an untruth it is not because it is a truth or an untruth that they reject it.No, if it isn't in accord with their beliefs in the first place they simply say, 'Nothing doing,' and refuse to inspect it.
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How easy for those who do not bulgeTo not overindulge!
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May I join you in the doghouse, Rover?I wish to retire till the party's over.
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Don't Cry Darling, It's Blood All Right
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Most bankers dwell in marble halls,Which they get to dwell in because they encourage deposits and discourage withdrawals,And particularly because they all observe one rule which woe betides the banker who fails to heed it,Which is you must never lend any money to anybody unless they don't need it.
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Any hound a porcupine nudgesCan't be blamed for harboring grudges.I know one hound that laughed all winterAt a porcupine that sat on a splinter.
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Being a fatherIs quite a bother,But I like it, rather.
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Senator Smoot is an institute Not to be bribed with pelf; He guards our homes from erotic tomes By reading them all himself.
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And I also say Pooh for sweetness and light, And if you want to get the most out of life, why the thing to do is to be a gossiper by day and gossipee by night.
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Some primal termite knocked on wood And tasted it, and found it good! And that is why your Cousin May Fell through the parlor floor today.
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Humor is hope's companion in arms. It is not brash, it is not cheap, it is not heartless. Among other things I think humor is a shield, a weapon, a survival kit.
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Oh, Night will not see thirty again, Yet soft her wing, Miranda; Pick up your glass and tell me, then - How old is Spring, Miranda?
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Time is timelessness for you; Calendars for the human; What's a year, or thirty, to Loveliness made woman?
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It is my duty, gentlemen, to inform you that women are dictatorsall, and I recommend to you this moral:In real life it takes only one to make a quarrel.
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Sleep is perverse as human nature, Sleep is perverse as a legislature, Sleep is as forward as hives or goiters, And where it is least desired, it loiters.
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Camped on a tropic riverside,One day he missed his loving bride.She had, the guide informed him later,Been eaten by an alligator.Professor Twist could not but smile.'You mean,' he said, 'a crocodile.'
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Belinda was as brave as a barrel full of bears,And Ink and Blink chased lions down the stairs,Mustard was as brave as a tiger in a rage,But Custard cried for a nice safe cage.
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Leave the earth to the strong and athletic,And the sea to adventure upon.But the sun and the sandNo contractor can copy;We lie in the landOf the lotus and poppy;We vegetate, calm and aesthetic,On the beach, on the sand, in the sun.
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I believe that people believe what they believe they believe.
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Naturally I am not pointing a finger at me,But I must admit that I find Mr. Ickes or any otherspeaker far more convincing when I agree withhim than when I disagree.
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Stuyvesant chats with Kelly and Katz, The professor warms to the broker, And life is good in the brotherhood Of an air-conditioned smoker.