Ogden Nash Quotes
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People who have what they want are fond of telling people who haven't what they want that they really don't want it.
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Camped on a tropic riverside,One day he missed his loving bride.She had, the guide informed him later,Been eaten by an alligator.Professor Twist could not but smile.'You mean,' he said, 'a crocodile.'
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Life has a tendency to obfuscate and bewilder,Such as fating us to spend the first part of our livesbeing embarrassed by our parents and the last partbeing embarrassed by our childer.
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These are enlightened days in which you can get hot water and cold water out of the same spigot,And everybody has something about which they are proud to be broad-minded but they also have other things about which you would be wasting your breath if you tried to convince them that they were a bigot.
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Being a fatherIs quite a bother,But I like it, rather.
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Senator Smoot is an institute Not to be bribed with pelf; He guards our homes from erotic tomes By reading them all himself.
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People expect old men to die, They do not really mourn old men. Old men are different. People look At them with eyes that wonder when... People watch with unshocked eyes; But the old men know when an old man dies.
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Whether elected or appointedHe considers himself the Lord's annointed,And indeed the ointment lingers on himSo thick you can't get your fingers on him.
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A lady wants to be dressed exactly like everybody else but she gets pretty up- set if she sees anybody else dressed exactly like her.
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Belinda was as brave as a barrel full of bears,And Ink and Blink chased lions down the stairs,Mustard was as brave as a tiger in a rage,But Custard cried for a nice safe cage.
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Oh, Night will not see thirty again, Yet soft her wing, Miranda; Pick up your glass and tell me, then - How old is Spring, Miranda?
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Listen, buds, it's March twenty first;Don't you know enough to burst?Come on, birds, unlock your throats!Come on, gardeners, shed your coats!
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And I also say Pooh for sweetness and light, And if you want to get the most out of life, why the thing to do is to be a gossiper by day and gossipee by night.
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How easy for those who do not bulgeTo not overindulge!
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I myself am more and more inclined to agree with Omar and Satchel Paige as I grow older: Don't try to rewrite what the moving finger has writ, and don't ever look over your shoulder.
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It is common knowledge to every schoolboy and even every Bachelor of Arts,That all sin is divided into two parts.One kind of sin is called a sin of commission, and that is very important And it is what you are doing when you are doing something you oughtn't...
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Humor is hope's companion in arms. It is not brash, it is not cheap, it is not heartless. Among other things I think humor is a shield, a weapon, a survival kit.
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When smut's to be smitten Smoot will smite For G-d, for country, And Fahrenheit.
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Leave the earth to the strong and athletic,And the sea to adventure upon.But the sun and the sandNo contractor can copy;We lie in the landOf the lotus and poppy;We vegetate, calm and aesthetic,On the beach, on the sand, in the sun.
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May I join you in the doghouse, Rover?I wish to retire till the party's over.
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Any hound a porcupine nudgesCan't be blamed for harboring grudges.I know one hound that laughed all winterAt a porcupine that sat on a splinter.
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I believe that people believe what they believe they believe.
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Don't Cry Darling, It's Blood All Right
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I think progress began to retrogress when Wilbur and Orville started tinkering around in Dayton and at Kitty Hawk, because I believe that two Wrights made a wrong.